Adoption

An update from a BM... post birth... (Long)

As I'm sure many of you know, I gave birth to my little girl Monday, 7/26/2010, at 7:59pm. She weighed/measured in at 7lbs 10oz and 20.5" long. Her name is Georgina Francesca.

Let me just say that labor is definitely NOT my #1 choice of how to spend a day. I went in at 5:30am to be induced, and was in labor by 7:15am. They started the pitocin and antibiotics (for strep B) at 7, and I was feeling the contractions 15 minutes later...

I was checked when my doctor came in at 8am, and she said I was at 3cm and 85% effaced, which was already progress from the 1cm I checked in at. I had officially broken the family record of only getting to 2cm! SHe broke my waters and then labor got intense. By 11am when she checked me again, I was already at 5cm, and in intense pain. I decided to get the epidural, and my doctor passionately agreed considering I was having rolling contractions 1.5 minutes apart lasting 35-45 seconds. Only problem was at 11:15 the anesthesiologist went into a c-section. I said ok, I had no choice but to wait, but after 2 hours, they finally called in another anesthesiologist, and at 1:30pm I finally received the epidural. We won't even get into the pain of the epi, which I will admit, was honestly nothing in comparison to the labor.

I was checked again around 5 pm, and was already a good 7-8cm dilated, but right after I got checked Georgina's heartrate dropped to less than 110bpm, and I was placed on oxygen, which brought her up to the 130's-140's again. *phew*

At 6pm my doctor went to deliver another baby, and when she came back in around 7:30, she was hesitant to check me again because I looked so comfortable (LOL!). But her curiosity as well as mine took over, and she checked. Then she got really surprised. My mom and I asked "what? What?" and she said that I was 10 and baby was not only engaged but mere inches from being out! She ran to the hall, clapped her hands and said "We're having a baby in here!" and suddenly the room was flooded with nurses, light, and supplies for baby Georgina. They put my legs up in stirrups, and my mom took my right side, and my cousin (adopting mom) took my left. My sister was allowed in the room at the last minute, and she stood back and took pictures while cheering me on.

5 contractions went by, and on the 5th, instead of 3 pushes my doctor allowed me to push that fourth push that my body told me to do, and Georgina came out in a rush! Here's a funny factoid, my doctor was so excited and caught up in the fact that I was ready to deliver that she forgot to put on a gown, and got soaked! She was laughing so hard at herself!

2 small 1 degree tears, and my awesome doc sewed those up fast, but I was so busy holding my daughter I didn't really even notice her sewing me up. Georgina was placed on my stomach, and she turned her head toward me and started to make the softest little coos. She never once screamed or cried, just hummed and cooed. They cleaned her up and placed her in my cousin's arms, and she melted. We were all crying, even my doctor who does this sorta thing daily. The nurses were sniffling and laugh/crying with us as they went about their jobs. 

And then the most beautiful thing. After I was fixed so that I was laying back with my legs out of the stirrups, and was covered and such, the Adoptive father and brother came in, and the three of them embraced around Georgina, bringing her into their little family to make four. The 6-year-old brother was smiling so big, and the parents were both sobbing as they welcome their daughter to their family. My mom never let go of my hand, and she leaned over me and said "that's it. That's why we did this. For that right there." And I nodded. Seeing the four of them together was the beautiful thing, and I knew then that everything would be ok.

I stayed in the hospital till Wednesday night, and my mom stayed by my side 100% of the time, eating hospital food right along with me. Adoptive mom and dad came during the day, and mom would spend the whole day with us, while dad and brother would come and go between daddy/son activities like ice skating and swimming.

Wednesday night was one of the hardest night of my life. Not so much that I was signing my beautiful daughter over, but the wording in the paperwork was the most brutal thing I had ever heard/read in my life. The papers talked about me choosing to "abandon" my daughter because I was not "competent" enough to care for her myself. I sobbed as I read that, and my mom was so angry over the wording. My social worker cried too, and said she was fighting to have those phrases removed. I signed the papers, and we returned to the hospital room where my cousins were waiting, having signed their papers as well. We gathered the massive amounts of stuff, and then went home. They stayed with us one more night before heading to a small resort where they were given a quiet room... and because my room was the room right next to the one they were in, my dad took my room, and I slept in my parent's bed with my mom.

Now it's Friday, and they text me every once and a while to let me know how everything is, and the cute stuff our daughter does. She has still yet to scream or cry, but instead chooses to hum and kinda talk. She has already lifted and supported her own head multiple times, and we are all so impressed with her. She chugs down over 2oz of formula at a time, and can sleep a solid 3 hours before waking up and wanting attention. She's so calm and relaxed, so peaceful... Like she knows that there are no tense feelings in the family, and that we are all a part of her life because we love her.

Sometimes it's all very surreal... that I gave birth. My body reminds me when I get sore or bleed when I stand... but it's not until I flip through the many photos that I smile and know that I really did do this, and that I really can continue to do this. I have an appointment with my life coach next week, and I'm honestly relieved to go see him. I need to hear his comforting grandpa-like voice and familiar advice. He knows me so well, and knows how to phrase things so that it makes sense, and becomes kinda a "duh" thing. 

I have so much support right now, and I really feel as though they are fibers that are joining with my muscles to hold me up where my muscles shake with exhaustion. I even received a bouquet of roses from my cousin's parents. Her parents have been so thoughtful to me, and I know they will make amazing grandparents for Georgina.

I really think that being out of the hospital is helping. I've passed what I dreaded (the horribly worded paperwork) and I have familiar things and people around me, even though I'm pretty much home alone for the next few days. My mom decided to go to her conference in a neighboring city, and my dad works from early morning till late evening. So it's me and the animals, and it's been nice. I get to sleep, clean, read, or paint. Whatever I desire to do, I have the peace and quiet to do.

I really want to thank you ladies for being here, and really express my gratitude to those who have been so supportive to me. It's a journey, and it's just beginning. I'll definitely keep you gals updated as I go through these next few weeks... and I can't wait to celebrate the official completion of adoption with my cousins in a few months. We are thinking about a family reunion in about two years, to celebrate our families and their connections. I smile to think that Georgina will be walking by then. It's crazy surreal.

I wouldn't change a thing. Things are, while rough, exactly as God intended them to be. And I thank Him, as someone who's never been overly religious, for his confidence in his plan, and in me.

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Re: An update from a BM... post birth... (Long)

  • Just have to say that you have an amazing story and that you are an amazing individual. I wish you nothing but peace of mind in the future.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Oh my heavens.  I have tears in my eyes.  What a beautiful story.  And I am thrilled and comforted that you feel God's hand and His presence through all of this.  He is indeed the author of every last portion of it, and is wrapped around you, loving you and comforting you.  Bless you! 
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  • You have me in tears! But I have been waiting for this update since monday!! Truly selfless is all I can say.. The line you wrote abot you and your mom saying "this is it, this is why we did it, for that smile" sent me over the edge! That little girl is so lucky! I really wish you the best of luck and will keep you in prayers! Please keep us posted I loved hearing your journey and makes me so thankful for my little boy...
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers



    TTC since 2005
    missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
    3 failed femara iui cycles-
    moving on to IVF oct 2011
    ER nov. 7th
    tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
    lots of +hpt!!
    beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
    beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
    another miscarriage 12/23
    moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
    ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
    ET 4/28 3 transfered
    Beta #1- 356
    Beta #2- 870

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • I have tears rolling down my face!  Your daughter is so lucky to have the love from all of her family!  she will be so well rounded and is blessed to have you and her adoptive parents!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I'm in tears reading your story.  Happy tears, sad tears, all kinds of tears.

    I think women who chose to place their babies for adoption are amazing people.  Probably more than you'll ever know.  I can only hope that life rewards you for making such a wonderful choice and you can find peace and happiness. 

  • hway24hway24 member
    I've been waiting for your update, and am so glad you shared that beautiful story. I have tears in my eyes as I read it. I'm so glad you feel at peace and know your decision was the right path for you and your daughter. She's adorable by the way! Sorry that paperwork wording was so awful, they really should change that to something that really express the selfless choice you're making. It's good that you have so much support, I'm sure that helps. Gl to you!
    After 2years TTC and 1yr,2mo waiting for an adoption match, our blessing is here!

    "You may not have my eyes or smile, but from that very first moment you had my heart"Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

    Surprise BFP made our family complete!
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • I'm crying, too.  Thank you for sharing the story of your daughter's birth.  You are one amazing person.

     

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  • Like everyone else has said I was reading your story and tears were rolling down my face.  Oh my she is just beautiful!  You are such a strong amazing woman. It is great that you had such a great support system to rely on.
                    Our Blessing From God Through Adoption
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                   Our Blessing After TTC for 6 Years (natural birth!)
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                             EBFing, CDing, BWing, SAHM
  • Thank you so much for sharing your story. Like the PPs, I have tears running down my face.

    God bless you.

  • I'm sitting here balling and barely able to read your update (which I too have been dying to read). You are truly an inspiration and should never forget that. You are one strong woman. Georgina is absolutely darling and she is very lucky to have all of you in her life. I'm sure labor was no fun but it sounds like you handled it like a champ! Good luck in the coming weeks!
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Thank you for the good cry. You're amazing. 
    Declan 8.25.08
    Lincoln 3.18.11
    Brooks 7.7.12



  • I truly hope that you will soon experience the fullness of your courageous and loving decision. I know that you will have such a different and mature perspective on life now. I know I do. Keep your chin up. Time will allow the ache to become less, although I can't imagine that the mother in us will ever be able to stop hurting completely. Please keep me updated as to how you're doing. I truly look forward to hearing about what's going on in your life. 
  • Congrats to all. She is beautiful.
  • you are such a special person, thank you for sharing your story with us! I am in tears and without words.
    We became A "Forever Family" on February 21,2011. Exactly 1 year from the day we began our adoption journey! Baby Girl joined our family October 5, 2011 we will be finalizing her adoption soon! And now after 7 years of infertility here I am pregnant with our third child! Due to arrive October 7, 2012! BabyFruit Ticker
  • Thank you so much for sharing... what an amazing story and brought back so many memories of our time with our birthmom.  God bless you as you heal physically and as you deal with the many emotions you are going through.  Your daughter is beautiful and you are a strong and amazing woman.

    image
  • That is such a beautiful, touching story! I'm so happy things went good for you and I pray your recovery will be quick. Keep us posted and know that you have alot of people thinking about you!!
  • Amazing!  You told it beautifully.  You're in my thoughts. 

  • You helped someone complete their family.  You're truly a hero.  Big giant hugs to you.
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  • Lovely story and beautiful baby.  Wishing you peace.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker<Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker>
  • I'm a lurker from another board, but I've been following your story. You've shown the kind of strength that most adults never manage to have in their whole lives. You have done the most amazing thing for your cousin and her family in giving your baby girl up to them so that she can have the life she deserves. You are really brave. You should be so proud of yourself.
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  • I've been waiting for your story and wow! . . . how beautiful--the story and you. That's seriously the best birth story I've ever read, and I'm sitting here balling. 

    I hope your recovery is quick and smooth. I'm so glad your Mom was there to support you like that and that you're getting to take it easy for a bit. Best wishes.  .  . 

     

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  • I'm just now getting to read your story and I have tears in my eyes.  What a beautiful description of your day.  Georgina is beautiful and so blessed.  I'm so glad you are doing well.  You are simply amazing to me!!  Please continue to post and keep us updated.  I can't wait to see where God takes you from here! 
    TTC #1 since 12/07 SA 9/08=borderline normal HSG 1/09 found R tube blocked Multiple IUIs both with oral and injectible drugs from 2/09-2/11 Started domestic adoption process in 5/10, homestudy complete 9/10 Failed adoption after home with baby for 2 weeks 11/10 Blessed through the miracle of private adoption with a son, born 6/6/11 (his grandma's bday) 7lbs 9oz 20.5 inches long! So worth the wait!
  • "The papers talked about me choosing to "abandon" my daughter because I was not "competent" enough to care for her myself."  This is so far from the truth.  All I can say is thank you.  I don't know you or the adoptive mother, but I know many adoptive families who enrich my world.  You have given a gift to all of us who celebrate children that is both rare and wonderful.  Wishing you much happiness in your life.  You deserve it.
  • Thank you for sharing your story with us.  I'm glad the birth went so well.

    Blessings and peace to you, Georgina Francesca, and her adoptive parents.

  • What a beautiful story.  I hope you print or save that post.  It would be wonderful for your daughter to read one day.  You are a very strong and brave woman.  Best of luck to you.  Please stay in touch.

  • Just like the others, I enjoyed this story so much. Labor stinks but it's so worth it in the end. YOur daughter is beautiful and blessed with you and a wonderful family. She will have a great life with so much love around her.

    I hope all your dreams come true...you deserve it. Congrats.

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