the black cloud over head, PRE-E

tryingforbabyL

So, I have really trying to be tough.  I have been really really trying to stay positive.  But, does any other second timers feel like pre-e is a giant black cloud overhead that you are just waiting to unleash its storm?

It is like carrying around a weight.  It is always on my mind, always a thought in my head ...

I will be 19 weeks tomorrow.  I have slight protein (252 at last check) and my BP is looking good (119/70 this morning) also I have NO swelling.  Like none. 

Also, the baby measured only 2 days behind on Monday!  Only 2 days.  By this point Hope was measuring way behind. 

With all the good things, I just cant shake the fear of the bad coming.  It comes on so quick, and you never know when. 

Ok, feel better just venting a bit.  I am sure there are ladies here who can relate!

 

 

Smudges*Mom

I'm a lurker, not pregnant, but I am a pre-e/HELLP survivor, so I can understand where your feelings are coming from. It looks like your OB is keeping a close eye on you and that you are doing well, physically.

I don't know if you have thought of seeing a counselor about how you are feeling. . . Personally, I think you are a brave and strong lady who has been through so much. Your feelings are justified and understandable, given your experiences, but that added stress has got to be a great deal to handle. Maybe someone who specializes with grief might be able to help you through the next couple of months. This is not to say that you can't handle it on your own. . .

My thoughts are with you for pre-e to leave you alone! (I hope you don't mind that I responded. While I experienced pre-e, i do know that my situation is different and that I have not walked in your shoes. But, I do know that a kind word helps.)

cbkittner

I don't have Pre-e but have incompetent cervix and PTL with the first (who came 6 weeks early), and now the second.  From the beginning of this second pregnancy I felt like I was waiting for the bed rest to begin, and all the issues to creep up again...I tried to cling to the hope that maybe it would be a normal pregnancy and until 20 weeks I went out and did as much as I could to enjoy myself, life, and my daughter and husband, because I just knew there was this huge chance bed rest was just around the corner.

So, I totally know how you're feeling.  I've been on it for 7 weeks now, and another 9 to go.

Good luck to you and hang in there!

SarahTx5701

yes once you have been through it, its hard not to worry about it showing up at any moment.

have you been on the boards at preclampsia.org

they are really helpful and know a lot! They research like crazy there. You'd also find a lot more support since it's all pre-e girls.

Hugs to you sweetie! I am pulling for you!!!

I hope you go over 40 weeks with this baby!!  and to any normal person  that sounds horrible, but to girls who never made it that far, thats a dream!

hang tough...you can do it!

Ashlie1

I know the feeling of when will IT happen.  I think most people who have experienced bad things with a previous pregnancy have these feelings. 

I started preterm labor at 26 weeks and mild pre-e developed shortly thereafter.  I ended up delivering DD at 36 weeks after 10 weeks of meds, bedrest and hospital stays.  I hit 26 weeks yesterday and have had those thoughts for the past couple of weeks.

I am glad that so far everything is looking good for you.  Feel free to vent, this is the place for it.  And yes, unfortunately there are many who can relate.  Keep us informed of you and little one's progress.

kitkat0308

You have been through so much. I had Pre E with my first and was put on modified bed rest. Then they took me off bed rest and I thought I was fine until I went into labor 3 weeks early. Apparently my BP was really high and I was at risk for seizure. So this time I've been waiting for it to hit although the doc has kept a pretty watchful eye. This time I'm dealing with bacterial vaginosis which keeps reoccuring. I'm hoping on monday, they give me a 4th round of antibiotics and it goes away for good.

*KC*luvs*RJ*

I can relate.  I've been obsessively nervous about developing Pre-E again in this pregnancy.  So far so good, but I'm constantly thinking about it.

msalinardi@live.com

I felt the same way with my second pregnancy. I developed pre-e at 24 weeks and had to have DD at 26 weeks. I was obsessive about taking my BP and watching my weight. I kept waiting for the ball to drop. It was this crazy fear that as soon as I hit 24 weeks, I would get sick again. While I did develop it again, it didn't show up until 34 weeks and I didn't have to deliver until 35 weeks to a baby who had no NICU time. All my doctors told me that for each subsiquent pregnancy that the severity of pre-e declines and it tends to develop later. T&Ps for a happy and healthy 9 months!!! 

valeriethedwarf

I had severe pre-e/eclampsia with my first pregnancy in 2003.  It came on very suddon and I ended up having seziures and going in for an emergency c section at 26 1/2 weeks.  My daughter was very small and became an angel shortly after birth.  I am now remarried and this is my first pregnancy since that all occured 7 years ago.  I have been through lots of counseling and suffer from PTSD because of it.  I too am very scared it will happen again.  I am however continuing my counseling and trying to keep my stress down and stay positive that I will have a healthy baby this time.  So yes I can totally relate.  I think about it every day.  Prayers for you and a healthy pregnancy for us both.

mrsschrager

Yes... I feel like a ticking time bomb.. just waiting to see if pre e/ hellp show up for me again. I had pre e and hellp with ds in 2007 but got it very late at 37-39 weeks.. started showing signs at 37 weeks and full blown at 39 weeks.. had a failed induction followed by emergency c section.. this time my ob is delivering me at 39 weeks and praying it does not show up sooner if at all!

haleybeth81

Just be proactive with your OB.  I had pre e and pp pre e with DD#1 and my old OB blew me off until I wound up in the ER in hypertensive crisis.  This time around I was on bedrest starting at 33 wks and DD#2 was delivered at 37wk via induction due to my bp going too high even on bedrest.  It is possible to get it again but it's not a given.  Also it's better the second time around in that you know what to expect and when to call the OB rather than trying to figure out what is going on.  The worst part is you have another child that you're trying to care for who doesn't understand why mommy can't play and has to stay on the couch.  Be prepared for the worst but hope for the best is my theory on how to deal with it.