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I'm feeling really overwhelmed...

Hi Girls, I'm really hoping you guys can help me to relax about some of this... or at least that venting will get it off my chest. Yeah, it's going to be a novel. Sorry.My c-section is in 12 days - so within 12 days I'm going to be a mother - of 2. I'm getting so stressed about this, and so is DH. How will I know what to do? I'm terrified that one or both of them may have some sort of problem, disability, etc... I'm horrified at the thought of still birth... I have all of these irrational fears that are just taking over my brain at night and I'm not sleeping. How do you even pick up two at the same time???My dog is having issues again - he's really sick from this infection on his neck and when he sleeps on the bed with us he just trembles and it vibrates the whole bed. The kennel training worked great with him - but 2 nights ago he got into our housemate's room and peed on his curtains and peed on his bed! I feel that we fix one thing with this dog and then there's something else. Plus, when I took him to the vet the vet scared the crap out of me talking about how he's a nervous aggressive dog and might attack my babies!I'm very stressed about my mother coming and the pressure that I know she is going to put on me - but also worried that she is going to criticize everything and anything... my bathroom won't be clean enough, my cooking smells (she's not very adventurous with food), my lawn won't be green enough, my dog will be too aggressive, my cat biitches too much, our car will be too small, etc. I just know it.I'm still angry with my MIL and haven't spoken to her in about 2 weeks now, DH hasn't spoken to her either ( not because he's mad, he just hates talking to her over the phone as she has nothing to say and sits on the phone in uncomfortable silence ) and I know she's getting all butt-hurt about it, which makes me feel guilty.I'm having such a hard time in these last weeks of pregnancy, DH comes home to see me at lunch and I'm just lying in bed surrounded by pillows and packs of frozen vegetables and just crying every time I have to get up to go to the bathroom. My hips and my pelvis are just to painful, and my lower back... I've had what feels like period cramps for weeks now... and I'm just SO big... I feel like this isn't what I signed up for when we were all excited about getting pregnant. I feel like I've been robbed of this fairytale pregnancy that other people seem to experience... walking from the house to the car has me in tears, and a drive of more than 20 minutes completely lays me out for the next day or so. I'm so hungry but have no room to eat enough to fill me up, and I'm still vomiting up stomach acid in my sleep and going through an entire bottle of Gaviscon every single day.But then I feel guilty that I'm complaining about my pregnancy, while shouldn't I just be grateful that the twins are still in there and doing well?DH and I haven't had sex since February. The last time we tried I threw up on him, and we haven't tried since because it would just be way too painful. We're not sleeping in the same bed, we sleep in two doubles pushed together so we have enough space, I'm just that big now. I can't wait for the babies to be here and for us to reconnect again. He's been so fantastic throughout this entire pregnancy - cooking, cleaning, back rubs, running out for french fries, cuddles, making me laugh, bringing me home movies to watch... he's been so wonderful and giving and giving and I just feel like all I've been doing is taking and taking and giving nothing back to him - which feels horrible.Okay, I'm going to stop now. I'm sorry to just unload on here with an epic read... I'm just feeling really overwhelmed right now. 
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Re: I'm feeling really overwhelmed...

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    sorry you are having such a rough time. It's definitely overwhelming to think of your twins coming soon. Mine will be here on Monday and I just can't believe it, but I just know that God won't give me more than I can handle.

    At least all of your pregnancy issues will be gone, right!? And as far as your mom and MIL goes try to tune them out. You will be so happy to have your babies here in your arms, that hopefully their comments won't matter so much anymore.

    I tend to be a more laid back person and I know it's not easy for everyone, but try to just take things one day at a time and know that you can deal with whatever comes your way. GL and you can do this!

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    Aww, I am so sorry you are having such a tough time right now. I understand completely your feelings relating to being a first time mom of two. It is overwhelming to thing about and the closer it comes to the babies being born, I start to freak out too. I don't know anything about being a mom; how to hold the babies, breastfeeding, what to dress babies in, how to get them on the same schedule, I know nothing.  But I try to remember that I will learn fast and in no time I will be more comfortable with being a mom and all the worries will be forgotten (hopefully!).

    You only have 12 days left (max) before you meet you babies!  So only 12 more days of extreme uncomfortableness.  You can make it!! 

    GL to you and keep us updated.

    BFP July 09 - m/c Aug 09
    BFP Nov 09 - c/p Dec 09
    BFP Dec 09 - A&J born in August 2010 at 37w, 6d
    BFP Sept 11 - ectopic pregnancy/left tube removed
    BFP April 12 - E born December 2012 at 39w, 1d

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    I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and that you are in so much pain too. I hope it gets a bit better for you soon. It is hard not to complain i'm sure when u are in so much pain. Don't feel bad about it. Your preg with twins!

    Don't feel bad for your dh...he's doing all this stuff because he wants to and if it makes you happy it makes him happy. You've probably catered to him alot before preg..now it's his turn :)

    Hang in there..i know that doesn't help but you are doing a great job taking care of those little ones. (((((hugs)))))

     ps. my whining above seems pointless after reading this lol... 

     

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    I was nervous before my babies came, too. It is overwhelming to go from 0 to 2 newborns at the same time! Try not to borrow trouble--which I know is easier said than done. And feel free to come on here for advice or vents whenever you need.

    I always found it difficult to pick up two at once when they were in the floppy newborn stage. Some people managed to do it but DH and I both found that if one of them wanted comforting, they really needed to be held in that prime/centered position on our chests; they just wouldn't calm down if we tried to hold both at once. So we found other tricks--we'd put one in the bouncy seat and use our foot to bounce it while talking soothingly/singing, while holding/comforting the other. Or put the calmer one in the swing. Stuff like that. It WILL be hard, but you WILL get through it. And if you've psyched yourself out enough, it might end up being easier than you're imagining. ;) Hang in there, mama!

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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    Oh and if your mom/MIL end up being more of a hindrance than a help, please do NOT feel bad about politely kicking them out. You do not need any additional stress while trying to juggle two newborns!
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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    Thanks for the tips and well wishes ladies. 

    I'd love to be able to kick out my mother or MIL, but they will be staying with us. My mother, stepfather and 18 year old sister are flying over to the UK for most of August and then once they leave, my MIL comes for 2 weeks in September. After she leaves our nanny finally gets to move in and I start back at work in October.

    I'm most worried about them during the floppy newborn stage! How in the world do you mind their head while holding them both at the same time! I guess it's just one of those things that we'll figure out as we go along. 

    To make things worse, my mother ( who has never dealt with 2 kids under 2 - my sister and I are 12 years apart! ) says things like "Having two is really no different than having 1 - I don't see what you are so worked up about" - which doesn't do anything except make me want to throat punch her. 

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    I remember your post about your mom saying that. Makes me want to throat-punch her, too! Hopefully once she sees the reality she'll realize how ridiculous that is.
    We really just rarely did hold them at the same time when they were floppy newborns; it just never really worked well for us so we would find other ways to soothe them. Well, another option is that you can put one in a Moby wrap or similar and hold the other. That's something I probably should have tried more often. But you're right, you'll figure out tricks and strategies that work for you.

    Hopefully your family and ILs will end up being more helpful than irritating! 

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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    jbl126jbl126 member

    What you are feeling is completely normal.  And not because you have twins, people with singletons have baby fears too.

    I had a hard time holding both girls at once.  My best friend could do it so naturally and I had to stop and think about it.  But you and they will adjust. 

    It is definitely an adjustment.  There are definitely going to be bad days, lots of them.  And then there will be a good day which will wash away those bad ones.  The first few months are about survival.  You will be fine.

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    I agree, if your Mom put more pressure on you tell her to leave in the nicest way possible.  Having twins is stressful enough already and you will be putting enough pressure on yourself - you won't have time to cook and your lawn won't be as green as it use to be and none of that will be as important as it used to be and she needs to get over it!

    I never hold my girls at the same time.  They are still tiny and I would be scared to. 

    It's going to be hard, but you and your husband will manage.  I have been getting overwhelmed with visitors and my Dad wants to come over and talk on the phone ALL the time and I have to constantly tell him we need a break from visitors and I don't have time to talk on the phone - I know it hurts his feelings, so I tried to explain that we are still figuring things out, want some alone time as a family before my H goes back to work and my number one priority is taking care of my daughters the best I can if him or anyone else cannot understand it then I'm sorry but that's just the way things are right now!

     

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    Oh honey! Hang on just a little bit longer! Your babies will be here soon, and you'll just be so in love! Don't worry about the things you can't do anything about, and take care of the things you can. Your hubby sounds like a wonderful man, and I'm sure he will be a wonderful daddy. Just a few more days....:-)
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