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Just not feeling myself

shaysmom05shaysmom05 member
in Pregnant after a Loss

Which I guess will be the norm for a while, at least that's what I'm praying anyways.

Every time I let myself get excited, I take a step back and have to remember the reality of things. Yes, today I am pregnant and I love my baby. I just don't really know how to look forward to things when I can't guarantee anything. I know nothing in life IS guaranteed... except taxes. I don't know. I'm just rambling now.

I am blessed to have the people in my life that I do have. I am just feeling alone in the fact that my best friend is 1,000 miles away. A friend that I have here just isn't that supportive of this pregnancy. She "forgot" about the fact that I'm pregnant and threw a fit because I couldn't go to Six Flags with her. She actually told me to say I didn't know I was pregnant and get on the rides anyway. I told her she was out of her FREAKIN mind.

I'm sorry for rambling and ranting. I'm just feeling really down right now. Thanks for letting me vent.

"Momma! She's doing it again!!" Photobucket
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Re: Just not feeling myself

  • jeannaqueenajeannaqueena member

    I am with you, I have good days and some very insecure days!  I am hoping you can find someone near you that can be supportive and yes your friend is out of her FREAKIN mind!!! 

    As I am approaching 11 weeks on Friday I have had more good days!  Best wishes to you!

    TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
    BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
    3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
    TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
    BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP 
    Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
    Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
    Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
    Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
    Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
    Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie
    Miracle Surprise BFP, EDD 10-1-15; saw HB great Betas, 11weeks lost baby MC at home
    Moved forward with FET transfered solo frostie on 6-4-15, beta 1: 315, beta 2: 738, u/s showed one baby on track EDD 2-21-16
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  • shaysmom05shaysmom05 member
    Thanks hon. I wish you many many more GOOD weeks!
    "Momma! She's doing it again!!" Photobucket
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  • far_more_than_rubiesfar_more_than_rubies

    Hang in there!  Today I am five weeks, and I keep thinking, only five weeks!  I totally understand the tug-of-war you're in.  You don't want to make plans and then see them fall to pieces, but you don't want to walk around in this cloud of negative thoughts.

    I'll be thinking of you! 

    Miscarriage 10/25/2009 Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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  • shaysmom05shaysmom05 member
    That's exactly it! Thank you! I'm really glad to know I'm not the only one going back and forth on all of it.
    "Momma! She's doing it again!!" Photobucket
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  • ValcoValco

    Sounds like your friend is being an selfish idiot!

    It is definitely tough balancing the excitement with the fear. I'm a lawyer and booking trials past my due date but I can't tell anyone and don't want to jinx it by not booking them... Argh! 

    Married - 09/26/2009 BFP #1 - 01/17/2010 EDD - 09/10/2010 M/C - 02/03/2010 at 8 w 5 d D&C - 02/13/2010 at 10 w 1 d BFP #2 - 07/14/2010 EDD - 03/27/2011 Luke stillborn - 11/11/2010 at 20 w 4 d BFP #3 - 03/16/2011 EDD - 11/27/2011
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  • kaw2723kaw2723
    imagefar_more_than_rubies:

    Hang in there!  Today I am five weeks, and I keep thinking, only five weeks!  I totally understand the tug-of-war you're in.  You don't want to make plans and then see them fall to pieces, but you don't want to walk around in this cloud of negative thoughts.

     This exactly...I'm only 5 weeks too and couldn't have said it better myself.

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