Baby Showers
GRRR.. Losing patience..
So I'm having two small showers.. one out of town with my in-laws and
one in town with my family (and the very few friends I have). They're
both driving me crazy! The first one is THIS WEEKEND, and DH's aunt JUST
got invitations out (my mom received hers today). Apparently none of my
in-laws know how to use a registry (as in you register what you've
bought so no one else will get the same thing). I can't complain,
though, because the same aunt is paying for everyone to eat at a Hibachi
grill for the shower... Lots of money, I'm sure.
Now my mother is driving me completely insane. She made me make all the decisions about the shower even though she and a friend of mine are throwing it for me. And now she keeps arguing with me about gifts. I keep saying I want practical things. "Like what?" Like the things I'm registered for - breast pump, safety things, diapers, baby carrier, monitor, etc. etc. - instead of clothes. She and MIL have already bought TONS of clothes for the baby and I need the stuff I'm registered for! It's not like I'm registered for extravagant stuff that I'll never use! But she keeps saying "but babies leak fluids all the time and you have to change their clothes more often than you'd think." Well, that's fantastic, but that doesn't mean that that's ALL I need!!!! The people who are attending these showers have a lot more money than us. We can go pick up a 5 pack of onesies no problem, but plunking $100 down on a play yard or $50 on a breast pump hurts a little more.
I know I should (and will) be grateful for everything I get, but WHY is she arguing with me about it?!?? SHE asked me what I want. I told her. Then she argued with me. I'm ready to strangle someone. She just sent me a text that said "beggars can't be choosers"..... I think my head might explode.
Now my mother is driving me completely insane. She made me make all the decisions about the shower even though she and a friend of mine are throwing it for me. And now she keeps arguing with me about gifts. I keep saying I want practical things. "Like what?" Like the things I'm registered for - breast pump, safety things, diapers, baby carrier, monitor, etc. etc. - instead of clothes. She and MIL have already bought TONS of clothes for the baby and I need the stuff I'm registered for! It's not like I'm registered for extravagant stuff that I'll never use! But she keeps saying "but babies leak fluids all the time and you have to change their clothes more often than you'd think." Well, that's fantastic, but that doesn't mean that that's ALL I need!!!! The people who are attending these showers have a lot more money than us. We can go pick up a 5 pack of onesies no problem, but plunking $100 down on a play yard or $50 on a breast pump hurts a little more.
I know I should (and will) be grateful for everything I get, but WHY is she arguing with me about it?!?? SHE asked me what I want. I told her. Then she argued with me. I'm ready to strangle someone. She just sent me a text that said "beggars can't be choosers"..... I think my head might explode.
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Re: GRRR.. Losing patience..
Sometimes it is just better to ignore than it is to engage in the conversation/debate. Moms will be moms...they think they are entitled and know what is best...the sooner you learn to let it roll, the less stress you will have...
Or you can nip it now and tell her to let you make your own decisions, otherwise you may end up with her telling you how to do everything from this point forward.
Food Allergies to Eggs, Milk, Peanuts, Tree Nuts & Beef
Challenged Soy and tolerated it.
But she's right. You can't dictate what gifts people buy you. I'm sorry that people aren't buying the practical things, but it is your (and your DH's) responsibility to provide for your child- and yours alone. It doesn't matter if the people attending your shower "have a lot more money" than you! You're lucky that they're kind enough to buy you anything. If you don't have the money to buy what you need, then you need to figure out how. Buy some things second hand - garage sales, flea markets, Craigslist, etc. Don't buy the fanciest travel system, pack 'n play, etc.
What exactly do you expect your mother to do? Notify each guest of what gift they are expected to purchase? Screen gifts at the door and send them high-tailing if it's not something you pre-selected and don't want to spend your own money on?
Your baby = your responsibility to plunk down cash for a play yard or a breast pump.
First, stop engaging your mom. Come up with your own phrase and use it over and over again. If she continues to badger you, hang up or leave. Done.
Second, I echo the sentiments of the pp's. This is your baby and your responsibility to provide for it. Be thankful for anything that you do recieve at your shower and figure out the rest on your own.
Obviously its our responsibility to take care of our own child.. but she asked me what I wanted. When I told her, she argued. I just don't understand why you'd ask a question you don't want the answer to - to someone who has little to no patience left anyway!
I'm very thankful for all the help we're getting. We have very supportive families. But our very supportive families are butting in a little more than I can stand right now.