Frustrated SAHM (mostly a vent)
First of all, let me say I truly do enjoy being a SAHM. However, this is my first summer with an infant and I'm finding it a bit difficult. I'm assuming winter and summer are like this since the temperatures are so extreme.
DD is 7 months and is actually getting more enjoyable by the day. It takes a lot less to make her giggle (which I love), her schedule is working great, and she's an all around happy baby. My problem is with the staying indoors all day/every day. DH and I share a car and with him at work, DD and I don't get to go anywhere. There have been a few days that we could stand to use the stroller and go down to the pool, but since it's 3 (long) blocks away...I can't risk doing that on the 100+ degree days.
Then there's the issue of DH's work keeping him so busy. His schedule is crazy while he's at work and even though he doesn't leave to go in until 8:30, he doesn't get home until after 5 a lot these days. I know a lot of you other mommas have it worse out there, but DH used to get home between 4 and 5 (usually closer to 4). I know I'm spoiled in that department still...but especially with her evening nap getting shorter and me being 9 weeks pregnant...by the time 5 o'clock rolls around I'm just out of steam! I know it's not fair to DH to get upset with him, but I can't help it most days. He says "Oh, I'll be home by 4:30 at the latest." Then comes home an hour later. I know he's busy but I'm tired and just can't seem to get enough rest.
I've tried finding time to nap by letting most of the day to day housework go, but I usually eat while she's napping so that I can eat in peace. Not to mention, at this stage even my naps don't do me much good.
I guess I'm just tired of being stuck in my house all day and I want to get out to do things to help entertain my daughter and keep me awake and less grumpy about DH coming home "late" but I can't.
I really am trying here, but I just can't wait until some cooler weather and for us to get our mini van when the second LO gets here.
Re: Frustrated SAHM (mostly a vent)
Could you pay cash for a car just for making quick trips? I mean, like $1,000 or so for something just for running to the store, until you get your van?
Can DH come home for lunch so you can get a little break then and take a bit of a rest?
I would start trying to make your meals and eat them while your LO is awake - Put her in her high chair with some toys while you prepare it. That way when she goes down for a nap, you can go down too.
I don't think we could justify buying another car just for 5 months' worth of errands. It makes sense, but I just couldn't make myself ask DH if we could do this. I'd rather "stick it out" and be frustrated until December than spend the money on the car, insuring it, etc for such a short amount of time. Also, I'm not sure what we would do with it once we got the mini van.
DH is super busy at his work, so the lunch trips aren't possible. Most days he works through his lunches at his desk (poor thing).
This seems like the best possibility. She's at the age (as I'm sure you know) where she fusses and wants to eat when I'm eating so I've avoided it while she's awake. I suppose I'll have to play with it and figure out if toys will keep her preoccupied or if not, I suppose I could start feeding her solids during this time instead of when I normally do them.
Thanks for the suggestions, Kim! Maybe just getting a few small naps a day will make my days a bit easier.
GL - I am right there with you. Sometimes if I'm really exhausted, I have DH get up when the baby first wakes up (5a.m.) so that I can get some extra shut-eye in. Oh, and he's doing all the cooking and most of the cleaning right now. lol
If nothing else, just keep in mind that the "first tri" exhaustion is just temporary and it will let up at some point.
ericanandy - A car day might be a good idea, too. Now I'll just need to think up some things for us to do around town on that day! I wouldn't want to "waste" it on errands alone.
Kim (I just remembered you changed your SN, do you want me to call you MamatoJackson instead?) - DH is doing most of the cooking these days, but mostly because it would be canned ravioli for every meal if he didn't I think. However, he doesn't do the cleaning. Drives.me.crazy! Yes, it's wonderful that he cooks and we both get fed...but to leave me with the sink full of dishes, too?? Not so wonderful.
And you're right about remembering I could possibly get my 2nd wind in a few weeks. It's so crazy to think I'm already almost through 1st trimester. It seemed to drag by with Francesca.
Hey there! Kim's fine - I got banned which is why I had the new screenname.
Yeah - Even when DH cleans, it's usually not 'really' clean, you know? He'll put the dishwashers in but leaves crumbs on the counter, etc. Oh well, I'm too tired to be picky - lol.
It is crazy how fast this pregnancy is going by - I guess we're too busy to really focus on it!
Hey there! Kim's fine - I got banned which is why I had the new screenname.
Yeah - Even when DH cleans, it's usually not 'really' clean, you know? He'll put the dishwashers in but leaves crumbs on the counter, etc. Oh well, I'm too tired to be picky - lol.
It is crazy how fast this pregnancy is going by - I guess we're too busy to really focus on it!
I'm sure I missed something, but why do you have to wait 5 months to get another car? Is it a budget thing?
I would definitely drive your DH in/out of work at least 1 day a week just to get the car and be able to go out somewhere.
I'm sorry you're stuck at home. It's a royal pain. DH and I had 1 car for a month and I was really miserable.
Hang in there! Hope it gets better!
We don't necessarily have to wait 5 months for our 2nd vehicle. It's just that we've been using the 1 car, and it's been a great money saver. We'll need the mini van in December once #2 comes along, so we were just planning on waiting until then to get the 2nd vehicle and incurring the extra costs.
Gotcha! You're a better woman than me doing this! LOL! I bitched and moaned the entire month that we had 1 car - DH was so sick of me. The reason we only had one car was that DH got promoted to an HQ job, and was no longer working from home, so he had to return the company car. By the time he figured out what he wanted, a month had gone by.
I hope the weather gets cooler and you and your LO can go on more walks......
I think there's a special place 4 pregnant mamas in the first trimester...we all kinda get antsy, exhausted and frustrated with the SAH, blistering heat days.
We're right there 2.(the baby barfed 0n the c0mputer this am, s0 my 0ther '0' isn't w0rking n0w. h0w many different ways can i get ar0und using the letter '0'...grrr...
I have spent time thinking ab0ut ways t0 build my energy and make me feel better...but they all seem t0 c0st $, s0 I'm instead left grumbling t0 myself.
Ahhh...until the new 0nes c0me al0ng.
I thought Sept/Oct was supposed to be the best time to buy a car? When the new models are out and they're trying to clear out their inventory. You might consider moving it up a little just for that - might offset some of the costs of ownership for those 2 extra months.
I had to have a talk with my DH about managing expectations. If I expect him home at a certain time, then I really start counting on that. If I know he won't be home on time, then it's not as bad as when I expect him an hour earlier. So if he tells me a time, he needs to stick with it or at least call me back - preferrably BEFORE the set time has passed!
Definitely take naps. Napping with DD was one of the best things about my 2nd pg. I loved that time. Besides, getting stuff during naptime will soon be a luxury that you don't have anyway, so might as well get used to it. I eat when the kids eat even if that means I'm sloppily spooning food into DS left-handed while I feed myself with the other hand.