Special Needs

My Dad's wife blamed me for my DS speech issues. (vent)

She said that the reason that he has an Expressive Speech Delay and Apraxia is because I give in to him too quickly and that I need to wait until he says what he wants and then he should get a spanking when he starts to get frustrated and acts out when he can't communicate with me.

I know she's crazy.  I have no idea why my Dad is with her, but she makes him happy, so I just stay quiet especially since he has Dementia and doesn't understand all that much anymore.

I do try to get him to say words all the time but after a few tries I do give in because that's what the speech therapist said to do.  Make him try, but don't let him get too frustrated or it will negatively impact him.  Also, I don't believe in spanking children for any reason period.

Luckily she lives out of state and I only see her once a year.  Even though I know she's an idiot, it still  hurts hearing something like this.  It makes me wonder how many other people think I'm doing something wrong.

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Re: My Dad's wife blamed me for my DS speech issues. (vent)

  • I get this all the time from my DH.  "He only cries because you give in to him.  He never cries when he is with me."  I have suggested he read a book on child development.  I just nod my head and pick up DS. 

    It is not worth worrying about.  We make a million decisions each day about what is worth giving in to and what is not.  I will not spend my day listening to a little child cry to be held.  If it is because he wants to put his hand in a light switch, I am happy to listen to the crying.  

  • It can be really frustrating when you know people don't get it and you aren't going to be able to teach them.  She sounds sucky.  I am sorry.
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  • I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

    I dealt with this exactly from my dad, stepmom and several extended family, to the point that I started doubting myself (even though I knew they were wrong in my head).  When DS finally got his Apraxia diagnosis I really felt vindicated.  They'd still look like they were going to disagree with me, but by that point I think I was stronger mentally and was always able to shut them up by firmly explaining his impairment to them.  Now no one says anything about my parenting choices.

    Also, that is exactly what I did with my son, encouraged him to try, waited a bit, then gave him what I knew he needed.  But isn't it nice to know how many people would deny a child food, attention, etc if they aren't capable of asking for it themselves?

    DS - June 2006 DD1 - November 2007 DD2 - August 2010
  • I am truly sorry you have a dumbas* for a step mother. That is really all there is to it. Keep up the good work with your son!
  • Thats horrible!!!! My son is speech delayed and I have a family member that likes to critisise my parenting skills alllllll the time.. luckly I have not seen her lately cause I dont think I could handle it being pregnant right now with all the crazy pregnancy hormones going through my body. Luckly she does not make comments that blame me for ds speech delay but for a long time she though he was deaf and that was why he was not talking.. we had his hearing tested and its fine.. she is a bit of a know it all... we are in the process of getting ds set up with speech therapy. I am sorry that your dad is suffereing from dimentia.. my mother has it as well so I cant talk to her :( its hard.. You are not doing anything wrong.. hang in there! ((((( hugs)))))
    DD 11/5/10 born by c section DS 9/8/07 born by c section due to Pre-e/Hellp Syndrome m/c at 5 1/2 weeks 8/4/06 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker DaisypathAnniversary Years Ticker
  • Ugh, that sucks. :( Sorry.
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  • oh man she is an azz. sorry hun.
    Max 4-08-08 and Michael 2-03-91 (19 years olds)
    image Both boys were born w/ hirschsprung's disease, you find yourself facing this dx, please feel free to ask me any questions.
  • I think SHE needs to be spanked - LOL!  All joking aside, she sounds like a lousy person.  Who would say that?!  Crazy.  Anyway, you are doing nothing wrong and my son's speech therapist said the same thing.  Have him try first, if he gives you something, a sound, anything, it's great.  If not, don't let him get frustrated.  You're doing a great job!
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