Question for any of you with a teen and a baby.

lmpdjc

I have a 14 year old DD and a 3 month old DS.  I don't have DD babysit for me, but I do ask her to help out with the baby sometimes.  (So I can shower, clean up the house, make a bottle...little things)  It's not every day or anything.  Do you ask for/expect help from your eldest when it comes to your baby?

DandelionMom

My kids don't have as big of an age gap but I have no problem asking my 9 y/o to help out sometimes.  She gets an allowance for being generally helpful and I'm careful not to ask too much from her. 

I think it is fine.

MelandJeff

my two kids are 14 years apart. While I would very seldom ask DD to watch my DS for a few minutes while I did random things, my mindset was that of this: "We are a family. We all make contributions to make this family function" If she needed to help out, I asked. But I also didnt want to burden her and make her resent her brother. So, for the majority, it was up to her how much she wanted to help. 

I have had her babysit in the evenings only a few times (maybe 7 total in 3 years?) And, I pay her for it, just like I would a babysitter. But, if it were me needing to go to the store quick, or run to the post office, she would be expected to sit with him without being paid. 

She is his sister, not his mother. But we are a family. I basically raised my half sister (she is 7 years my junior) and I hated it and still have resentment. I never wanted to do that to my kids.

 

MayorMcCheese000

I ask SD to help out all the time and she usually gladly does, DS too. I think it is just part of being a family and we should be expected to help each other. I have some trashtastic neighbors that like to stay up late and sleep in and they make it their 11 years old's responsibility to wake up, get the baby out of the crib, change her and feed her a bottle. I think that is asinine and really sad to boot.

lmpdjc

MayorMcCheese000:

I have some trashtastic neighbors that like to stay up late and sleep in and they make it their 11 years old's responsibility to wake up, get the baby out of the crib, change her and feed her a bottle. I think that is asinine and really sad to boot.

Wow!  That is ridiculous!

MotherBucker

Yes, my 15 year old helps me with little ones quite a bit.

It's part of being a family. She's watching the baby this summer though, and we are paying her to do so. It's her summer job.

lmpdjc

Thanks for the responses, ladies.  I'm just working on finding that delicate balance.  I think as a part of this family, she can help out with the little guy a bit, but I also don't want her to feel like she has to take care of him all of the time.  I wouldn't leave her babysitting while I left the house, she's not mature enough and doesn't do well when he's fussing.  She's been giving me a little bit of attitude when I ask her to entertain him for 10-15 minutes, but then again, she gives a little attitude about everything these days...