OK, so I don't know if I'm looking for advise or if I just need to get this off my chest because I'm kinda freaking myself out over here.
When I was pregnant with Rowen I knew I wanted an epidural the minute they would give it to me. I've never handled pain well but I'm one of those lucky people who get cramps so incredibly bad that they make me throw up and I'm basically just withering in a ball of pain. Knowing this, I knew that I didn't want to go through labor without pain medication. Well when Rowen was born I got an epidural. It was the worst experience I had ever had in my entire life. Part of it had to do with the fact that I have scoliosis and the Dr had a terrible time trying to place it. When she did get it is it was incredibly painful, so much in fact it was the only thing that made me throw up. I have listened to all these people say how it provided so much relief but I didn't have that experience. Yes, it helped, but I was still in a terrible amount of pain with it. The worst part of the experience is that Rowen's heart rate dropped terribly. I have been told that this only happens in 2% of cases. They ended up getting it back up for awhile but when they gave me a booster because I was still feeling a lot of pain his heart rate went down again. At the time I didn't realize how bad it was. My mom said his heart rate was down to 30 when they got him out. They used the forceps to get him out while they were waiting for the OR to get ready because they were planning on doing an emergency c-section but luckily they got him out with the forceps quickly enough that the c-section wasn't needed.
After all of this happened I found out that my DH reacted the exact same way when he was born. So I realize that it only happens in like 2% of the cases but if it already happened to me once and I know it also happened to my DH wouldn't that increase my chances of it happening again?
So basically I'm terrified of having an epidural because of the experience last time and because I don't want to put my baby at risk just because I don't want to be in pain but I'm kinda freaking out about going natural. I'm totally not prepared and don't even know what I need to do to get prepared. I think I've been sitting here in denial that this baby is actually going to have to come out, but now that I'm as far along as I was when Rowen was born it is hitting me that I need to do something. So I guess I am asking for some advise from you mom's who did go without an epidural. How did you get through it? It is too late for me to take a class but anything other advise would be greatly appreciated. I'm afraid I'm going to make it worse because I'm sitting here freaking myself out so much.
Sorry so long, but thank you for letting me get it out. And thanks in advance to anyone who has some advise for me!
Re: Kinda freakin' out! LONG!!!
Don't worry, you can do it! I went natural with M, had an epidural with Ian. I have to say that M's birth was a lot less painful than Ian's. Ian's HR also went down dramitcally with the epidural, they kept threatening to do a c-section if I didn't get him out asap. With M, I read into hypnobirthing and natural childbirth a lot. I used a labor affirmations track to help me remain calm. I was in labor all day with M and didn't really know it until my water broke. He was born an hour later. If you have any questions you can email me at libertadw@ gmail dot com.
We had a long discussion on epidurals last night in birthing class and DH had an awful experience with his when he had knee surgery. He said the residual pain and suffering from it was worse than the knee recovery and that he would never want me to experience what he did. He's VERY anti-epidural, but understands if I ultimately choose to have one.
The way I see it, my body was made to have a baby and for me, I've decided that recovery from a natural childbirth will be much better than recovering from both a vaginal delivery AND a potentially botched epidural. Besides all the residual side effects of an epidural are not worth it to me. In reality they really shouldn't be called "side effects" because medication has direct "effects" not side effects (ex. if you administer X then Y and Z happens and unfortunately, often in US hospital births it's a slippery slope towards surgery). In the end we each react differently to pain and medication, but what you ultimately decide to do is your choice and the best you can do is make an educated decision and trust yourself.
I have no advice about going med-free but just wanted to give you (((hugs))). I can see your dilemma and hope you find a solution you are comfortable with.
Have you spoken to your OB about your fears?
So I have not gone through the labor part yet, but because of my scolosis, I am not allowed to have the epidural.
I talked to my doctor, and we are starting out with gas. There is also another medicine I can have that I push the button for pain relief.
My best advice is to listen to your gut instinct. Whenever I ignore mine, I always regret it.
That being said, I had an epidural and it made MY blood pressure drop down to 54/32. They gave me something to get it back up, but that epi wore off. I got another one and my bp dropped again. They got it back up and that epi wore off right when it was time to push. So I can't tell you how to get to 10cm without one, but I CAN tell you that the pain of pushing wasn't really PAIN for me. It was uncomfortable for sure. It felt like terrible PMS type of cramps but the actual pushing made all that go away. It was bizarre. They told me "Oh, if you get tired, just rest and don't push through the next contraction." and I was like "Are you kidding me? Pushing is the only thing that makes it feel better." lol It also felt a lot better to have my legs spread as far apart as possible. I pushed for 2 hours and 53 minutes and it felt like 20 minutes.
I needed ZERO painkillers aside from a few Motrin that first night. When I was discharged, we actually stopped at Babies R Us on the way home and although I walked slowly, I was fine. (Dd was a 35 weeker so we needed to get some preemie clothes.)
You CAN do it! I tell everyone not to look at the clock (mine was above my head on the wall behind me, thankfully) and when the pain comes, do a deep breath in and blow out through your mouth for as long as you can. If you have to scream, scream. They're used to hearing it. :-)
Oh Natalee, don't give up yet! *HUG*
There is also an injection that they can give you right in "that area" as you're pushing. It numbs the area, but doesn't go into the bloodstream so it won't harm your baby. If you're past the point of an epi and you think you need something for the pain, ask about the injection. It might provide a little relief.
I TOTALLY think you can do this, though! The trick is to find what works for YOU in terms of pain management. For me, I wanted the room dark and when I had a contraction, I wanted everyone completely silent. FI was also GREAT about looking at the monitor to tell me when the line started going down and he'd tell me "OK, the worst is over." That was very comforting.
Katy and Brett ~ Runaway Bay, Jamaica ~ October 4, 2008
Hi again!
You can certainly do this on your own!!! I knew from the get-go that I did not want (God-willing) any medical interventions, but I truly think that you can still put your mind to this and be successful even at this stage in the game. Here is Hayden's birth story if you'd like to read more.
Have you considered a doula? I don't think it's too late for that, either. I really think that the two most important factors in my natural birth were 1) my determination and 2) my doula's support and techniques. I honestly didn't mentally prepare much before the birth, but her instructions on pain management during the process were priceless. You can find a doula in your area here.
Like Blayne said, the water was also very instrumental for me. Do you know if your hospital allows laboring in the water? Whatever the outcome, remember that our bodies are MEANT for birthing babies...thousands of women do it every day (without meds!) YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Email me if you want any other recs/advice...I LOVE talking about natural birth!!! carollyn_e at hotmail dot com
**Sorry in advance if my all caps offends anyone =0