OMFG! DH's real issues come to light

MrsTiara

So he comes downstairs tonight with a confession: after two years of complaining how I cut his hair he finally admitted that he's getting a bald spot.  For the last few weeks he's been dealing with this realization and this has been horrible to his self-esteem and sense of worth.  So I bought him some Rogaine on Drugstore.com and it seems as though he has some hope again and doesn't feel like his life is now over.  I so want to laugh right now, but of course, I can't.  But, really, this is what's been causing so much tension recently???

Anyone else dealing with a balding DH?

PS This is particularly grating to him since he calls my last significant ex Dr. Balding.

CandKmomma

DH is balding but he doesn't care.  I wish he would care and get some Rogaine.  But I guess he probably wishes I would get my prepregnancy body back after i deliver.  Getting old sucks. 

Sofka

since your last ex was balding, you obviously don't mind, so he should feel better about it, at least from that point of view. He won't be less attractive in your eyes.

I think balding is a big deal for men, kinda like hanging boobs and hips that never go back after childbirth (not to mention the rest of the body) for women.

Just be supportive and tell him you love him anyway!

zeptattoo

The worse thing he could do is try to hide it.  DH has been bald since he was 20 and a friend of ours is starting to go.  He keeps tryng to cover it up and it actually makes it more obvious.  If he has a nice shaped head he should shave it or get a really close cut (gives him a rough edge look).

eeclem

DH is rapidly thinning, but he's handled it pretty gracefully. Honestly, if he used it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of wine a week and ignore my requests to help prepare for baby I would be PISSED and there would be some serious Come to Jesus talking going on.

Artslvr

7*7*7bride:

DH is balding but he doesn't care.  I wish he would care and get some Rogaine.  But I guess he probably wishes I would get my prepregnancy body back after i deliver.  Getting old sucks. 

This made me laugh.    Prepregnancy body - that'll be the day!

bh2720

7*7*7bride:

DH is balding but he doesn't care.  I wish he would care and get some Rogaine.  But I guess he probably wishes I would get my prepregnancy body back after i deliver.  Getting old sucks. 

LOL

however, my DH has taken drastic steps to prevent baldness, I won't go into the details (for those of you who know me IRL, this is something we do not discuss!). but suffice it to say, he is not bald and won't be going bald anytime soon. I couldn't care less whether or not he has hair, but it was important to him, so whatevs...

MrsTiara--in addition to what he had done, DH also takes prescription Propecia. your H might want to look into that if it's something that really bothers him.

belizeitornot

My DH started losing his hair in his 20's, and is totally bald on top and has been pretty much since age 28. Tell your DH he's lucky he had his this long.

All kidding aside, it is a big deal it seems for some men...like some women will go through crazy sh*t (botox, face lifts, other plastic surgery) to stay looking young.  But i agree with eclem - i don't really think of that as a worthy excuse for drinking 3 bottles of wine a week.....

ETA: since you said the other day you're not done having kids after BabyTiara, I would look into the restrictions of Propecia if he considers that. Apparently women can't even touch the tablets - I don't know how restrictive it is for men who are ttc...

bh2720

zerf77:

ETA: since you said the other day you're not done having kids after BabyTiara, I would look into the restrictions of Propecia if he considers that. Apparently women can't even touch the tablets - I don't know how restrictive it is for men who are ttc...

we talked to our OB about it before we started TTC and she said it wasn't an issue at all. you are correct that women are not supposed to touch the pills, but other than that it's fine.

emack

OH, my, I hope this makes you feel so much better. It took a lot of courage for him to admit that to you and it is great that you've responded kindly. He'll start feeling better soon.

barkers4jmm

DH was balding before I met him.  When he's dressed very casually, he wears baseball hats a lot, which actually is good protection from the sun.  I have reminded him to take it off when sitting at a table.  Otherwise, it's just cut very short.  He just deals with it, really.

 

Hey Jellisy

DH was balding when I met him, he just keeps his hair cut short.  I think he looks adorable.  He's not uber sensitive about it but I think he always knew it was in the cards for him genetically.  Now my brothers are another story.  It's not in their genetic cards and they have thick lush hair (I'm jealous fo their hair) but one brother is developing a receding hairline that he is a little vain about.  In the end, it is what it is.  I think men look more distinguished as they grow older balding heads, gray hair and all.  I don't know why more women aren't given the same grace. 

vtkgirl77

DH is slowly losing hair at the top of his head. He tried a Rogaine type product but it didn't seem to work. I don't think it bothers him too much though.

I think the best thing you can do is to remind him how attractive he is to you. I'm a little curvey and sometimes I complain about being "fat" but DH always tells me how sexy and attractive I am to him which makes me feel better about it. So, I would assume that it works the other way around.

 

tomandcourt

eeclem:

DH is rapidly thinning, but he's handled it pretty gracefully. Honestly, if he used it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of wine a week and ignore my requests to help prepare for baby I would be PISSED and there would be some serious Come to Jesus talking going on.

Hee! Oh, eeclem. But seriously. I'm sorry if you're worried about going bald but I'm pretty sure the wine will not help.

I do understand his worry/frustration, though - DH's concern is his belly/weight. He works on it, I think he looks great regardless - and luckily he has a lush head of hair that doesn't seem to be going anywhere (although he has like 5 chest hairs so maybe it evens out).

MrsTiara

tomandcourt:

eeclem:

DH is rapidly thinning, but he's handled it pretty gracefully. Honestly, if he used it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of wine a week and ignore my requests to help prepare for baby I would be PISSED and there would be some serious Come to Jesus talking going on.

Hee! Oh, eeclem. But seriously. I'm sorry if you're worried about going bald but I'm pretty sure the wine will not help.

I do understand his worry/frustration, though - DH's concern is his belly/weight. He works on it, I think he looks great regardless - and luckily he has a lush head of hair that doesn't seem to be going anywhere (although he has like 5 chest hairs so maybe it evens out).

I'm giving him a pass because he's been SOOOO depressed about it (and he's not ignoring my requests for help so much as doing things at his own pace, which is not mine).  When he told me, he came and curled up at my feet with his head in my lap.  He also feels like he's now given BabyCrown bad genes, besides his own loss.  Everyone on his mom's side is fine, but I've been telling him for years that his dad's hair is thinning (he was in denial about that, too).  It didn't help that at the family reunion one of his uncles was making nasty comments about it (an uncle who has thick hair), but he had started to realize things a couple of weeks before.

Oh, yes, and totally doesn't help that he makes fun of his friends who aren't dealing well with their own loss, as in, "Really, Friend X just needs to shave his head already, who does he think he's fooling??"