Vent...

acobb090107

Ok, so I have PCOS and we've been trying for a little over a year.  Just like anyone else I have my good days and I have my bad days.  Today...I would say was a bad day *dealing with not being pregnant/having a baby*. 

I have always felt lead to be a foster parent but ever since we've had issues this urge has become stronger.  Everytime I bring it up, my husband seems to be on the same page as me, then freaks out saying he wanted to keep trying to have our own *so do I*. 

I don't want to "replace" our own unborn child and give up on TTC, I just want a little pressure taken off of me *from myself* and give a child in need a loving home.

I just feel like he's being totally insensitive to my feelings about it.  I know he doesn't know how it feels to have fertility issues but I wish he was more understanding.

anyone's DH insensitive to your feelings/TTTC issues?

LnR70707

Sometimes, but it is more in that he says I shouldn't think that way when I wonder why so-and-so got KU on the 1st try and we are struggling.  IF is very difficult and it puts a ton of stress on us.

I sincerely hope that this doesn't sound mean, but because of all the emotions involved right now, I would also question (and only you know what you truly feel...this is just me) whether now is the time to extend yourself to a child that will not be yours.  A foster child will not take any pressure off of you to have your own child and I personally think that is a very wrong reason to bring a child into your life.  I would reconsider your DHs perspective here.

wordslikeswords

L&R70707:

Sometimes, but it is more in that he says I shouldn't think that way when I wonder why so-and-so got KU on the 1st try and we are struggling.  IF is very difficult and it puts a ton of stress on us.

I sincerely hope that this doesn't sound mean, but because of all the emotions involved right now, I would also question (and only you know what you truly feel...this is just me) whether now is the time to extend yourself to a child that will not be yours.  A foster child will not take any pressure off of you to have your own child and I personally think that is a very wrong reason to bring a child into your life.  I would reconsider your DHs perspective here.

This exactly MH gets mad at me, but only when I'm being upset about about 1st try babies. And when I get depressed to the point where it drags him down. And I have to agree with PP... a foster child won't make things any easier.. including your emotions and YH's.

acobb090107

wordslikeswords:

L&R70707:

Sometimes, but it is more in that he says I shouldn't think that way when I wonder why so-and-so got KU on the 1st try and we are struggling.  IF is very difficult and it puts a ton of stress on us.

I sincerely hope that this doesn't sound mean, but because of all the emotions involved right now, I would also question (and only you know what you truly feel...this is just me) whether now is the time to extend yourself to a child that will not be yours.  A foster child will not take any pressure off of you to have your own child and I personally think that is a very wrong reason to bring a child into your life.  I would reconsider your DHs perspective here.

This exactly MH gets mad at me, but only when I'm being upset about about 1st try babies. And when I get depressed to the point where it drags him down. And I have to agree with PP... a foster child won't make things any easier.. including your emotions and YH's.

I think that THIS is mostly the problem...he just has a harder time expressing himself than I do.

Being a foster parent is something I have ALWAYS wanted to do...I guess in the PP it sounded like I just wanted to use a child to take my mind off of my TTTC issues (just finished the discussion/arguement about it with MH). That's not the case at all.  I just want to provide a child a safe and loving home.

mrsarjiltobe

I have always felt the same way as you about wanting to foster a child to show them love. I have wanted to take in a special needs child with lung problems since that is my profession, and I would be able to care for them well. DH doesn't feel the same way though. He wants to have "our own" child. I've just come to accept it for now, and see where it goes from here.