Any moms of only children (& staying that way) on here...

WendyK

I will start out by saying I am an only. DH and I have decided DS will be an only child as well. We love him beyond words but I am not a baby person. My question is, I get a little sad sometimes thinking I will never be pregnant again. I am not sure why this is bothering me so much. Also, I cannot believe how much pressure there is from other people to have a second child. While I typically don't care what people say I am honestly done with hearing all the negatives about children who are only children. I am one and I loved it and turned out in my opinion fairly empathetic and successful.

meo34

I have one son who is 4 (almost 5) and he is and always will be an only child.  We had trouble concieving and I had serious issues during delivery and advised not to have any more children.  I did find it difficult (and do still occasionally when my friends moved on to have more children) because I don't think I would have chosen that route.  He is a wonderful boy and was such a good baby (likely I would not have had it as easy for #2 for sure!). We did explore adoption but felt it wasn't right for us.

So I came to terms with this but yes I really do get a twinge of sadness. So I look at the benefits.  I think overall it is a good lifestyle for us.  Myself and my husband are very career oriented and I travel frequently for work.  Having one allows us to devote more time and attention to him and makes things much easier for my husband when I travel for work. As well financially we are very secure and can provide alot of opportunities for him (both material and in terms of travelling and other activities) which I think is a plus.  

And yes I hear all the time about having another and how it is unfair not to have a sibling for him (even from my mom who knows my background!).  But he gets lots of socializing and has his cousins. 

I was 1 of three children so I wouldn't know what it would be like to be an only so it is great to hear from someone that was and feels good about it.  I love my sisters to pieces but it is not always sunshine either!

I would love to chat more with you about this!  How old is your son?

MommyofAlissa

We are one and done, and like you, get tons of pressure to have another. My parents actually agree with us, but his parents do not. His younger brother has issues that will likely prevent him from having children, so Alissa will be the only grandkid they will have.

I found this article a week ago and thought it was a good read. 

WendyK

My DS is 3. I too travel for work, although not as much anymore. I too had a horrible delivery and this just reinforced my idea. My parents are very behind me about this issue (since I was an only), DH's mom could care less about our decision. I just hate the stigma associated around only children. We believe it is the right decision for our family.

FutureMrsDenman

DD is our one and only.

I was 36 when I had her and DH was over 40.  We had decided before she was conceived that we would have one child.  The idea of that was reinforced when she came at 28 weeks exactly and spent 88 days in the NICU.  The doctors told me that there was a high liklihood I would deliver any future babies early and that the factors that had put my own health in jeopardy would probably manifest again.  I don't feel good about the idea of having another in the hospital fighting for his/her life with DD at home and with the potential for me to be very ill myself.

We feel good about the decision. 

 

lizard76

We planned on being one and done...obviously that didn't quite work (we had a BC failure).  I honestly went back and forth on #2 about every other day while DH was set on one.  Both DH and I have siblings, so I think that played a big role in my wanting two, but I also treasure only having one right now.

What made me OK with our decision to have only one was a conversation I had with my dad, who is an only child.  My dad is one of the smartest, coolest people I know...even when I was in high school my friends thought hanging out with my dad was great (our newer friends do as well).  He's not maladjusted, snobby, or spoiled. He assured me that he never "longed for a sibling".  Being an only was all he ever knew.  He also was close with one of his cousins, so he was never really alone.

You have to make the right decision for your family, not what other think is right.  I also think that it's totally normal to somewhat want a baby even if you're "one and done."

meo34

"The doctors told me that there was a high liklihood I would deliver any future babies early and that the factors that had put my own health in jeopardy would probably manifest again. I don't feel good about the idea of having another in the hospital fighting for his/her life with DD at home and with the potential for me to be very ill myself." This sounds like my situation exactly and the way I felt about having #2.

The Times article is great!  Thanks for that.

In some ways we are very doting overprotective parents.  But I don't think DS is spoiled at all.  He is very loving and grateful.  And in some ways I see we can be firmer because we have more time and energy to stick to our guns....some of my friends with 2/3 have a harder time becuase they say they get overwhelmed and worn out. 

DH has a sister and she is spoiled...so I don't think it has as much to do with being an only child as people think.

I always joke with my friends that the kids should never outnumber the adults in the household so I only have one child.  In the event DH leaves the room I will still not be outnumbers...LOL.

meo34

"The doctors told me that there was a high liklihood I would deliver any future babies early and that the factors that had put my own health in jeopardy would probably manifest again. I don't feel good about the idea of having another in the hospital fighting for his/her life with DD at home and with the potential for me to be very ill myself." This sounds like my situation exactly and the way I felt about having #2.

The Times article is great!  Thanks for that.

In some ways we are very doting overprotective parents.  But I don't think DS is spoiled at all.  He is very loving and grateful.  And in some ways I see we can be firmer because we have more time and energy to stick to our guns....some of my friends with 2/3 have a harder time becuase they say they get overwhelmed and worn out. 

DH has a sister and she is spoiled...so I don't think it has as much to do with being an only child as people think.

I always joke with my friends that the kids should never outnumber the adults in the household so I only have one child.  In the event DH leaves the room I will still not be outnumbered...LOL.