I am pulling my hair out...

LillyGrrl

Why does my child hate me?  Why will she not go to sleep despite a routine?  My mother insisted (INSISTED) that after a while she would just go to bed like a normal child.  But no, my stubborn little munchkin refuses to go to sleep.

Tonight for example- we do the normal routine of eat, clean ourselves up (bath, teeth, medicine), watch wonder pets (her favorite) and then read a story.  We've been doing this for a while now.  With no results.  She still takes at least 30 minutes to actually go to sleep- hysterically crying for at least 15 minutes before finally falling over and sobbing and then falling asleep (with pitiful sobs, though less frequently).  It's a freakin' nightmare.

Seriously WTF?  I need help. I simply do not understand what i am doing wrong.

Sage Mommy

What do you do while she is falling asleep?

LillyGrrl

Ok, so we used to tap her on her back to go to sleep and, of course that worked, but lately we've been just sitting in there.  We play music for her so it's not completely quiet either.

Is there something I should be doing instead?

msbern09

LillyGrrl:

Why does my child hate me?  Why will she not go to sleep despite a routine?  My mother insisted (INSISTED) that after a while she would just go to bed like a normal child.  But no, my stubborn little munchkin refuses to go to sleep.

Tonight for example- we do the normal routine of eat, clean ourselves up (bath, teeth, medicine), watch wonder pets (her favorite) and then read a story.  We've been doing this for a while now.  With no results.  She still takes at least 30 minutes to actually go to sleep- hysterically crying for at least 15 minutes before finally falling over and sobbing and then falling asleep (with pitiful sobs, though less frequently).  It's a freakin' nightmare.

Seriously WTF?  I need help. I simply do not understand what i am doing wrong.

K was once a great sleeper and once she turned a year old she doesn't sleep. Or it takes her 30 mins to cry herself to sleep.
We also have a routine that we've done since she was a newborn. But now we have 30 mins of crying.
I don't have any advice - but your not alone.

Sage Mommy

Hmmm...Have you tried sitting across the room and not communicating while she is falling asleep?

Maybe she needs to know you are there, but not going to interact. It has worked for DS in the past. I feel your pain. Some kids just take longer to master falling asleep peacefully. GL!

Cec07

That sucks. Have you tried leaving her alone to fall asleep? Ds falls asleep way better without us anywhere near him- if he knows we're around (like on vacay sleeping in the same room) he screams bloody murder. When left alonethe longest he ever cries is a couple minutes and he's out. Also, maybe watching her favorite show gets her too wound up to fall asleep? Could you watch the show at the beginning of the routine? GL!

LillyGrrl

One of us is usually in the room with her but we don't "acknowledge" her per se.  Normally I sit in her glider and just rest my eyes or whatever but she stands in the crib and cries and she can see me so it's hard not to look at her when she's doing that.

We usually watch the show because she'll sit with us to watch it.  I don't see her getting excited about watching it, it usually just captures her attention so she'll sit for 30 minutes.  I guess we could try doing the show before her bath.

Maybe tomorrow we'll try not being in the room at all.  Then we'll work on changing the before routine. Hopefully something will work.

Truthfully, she's never been a good sleeper.  It took many months before she was a decent napper and even now at home on the weekends she doesn't nap well. 

I keep thinking I screwed this up.

 

S+J+G+1

DS takes at least 4-5 books to really calm down enough to fall asleep.  THe TV actually gets him all energized. But, it took a lot of trying to know what works for my DC - each kid is different and routines work well once we get them right, but maybe try a different routine since this one is not working?

Sage Mommy

You didn't screw anything up. Some kids just take longer to fall asleep on their own. She'll get there. Don't hard on yourself. Just keep trying different approaches.

cannedjuice

i would try leaving the room. this is what we've done with DS. i know that if i sat in the room it would just upset him more and take him longer to calm down. we've sleep trained a few times by just leaving him in the crib after bedtime routine. it usually takes several nights, but each night it takes a little less time than the night before. For us, on average, night one takes 45min-hour, night 2 maybe 30 minutes, nights 3-4, 15 minutes, and maybe 5 minutes after that for a week, then he just starts going to sleep with no tears. it's gradual, but it did work for us. the suggested going in after 10 minutes to reassure him never worked for us, as it would just upset him more when we left again and he would have to start calming himself down all over again. i always feel terrible, but he always smiles and hugs me in the morning.