When to tell people?

stac1500

When is everyone letting the cat out of the bag?  I know that "they" say to wait until 12 weeks but I know I can't wait that long.  My friends are going to know something is up if I don't drink and I want my family to know first.  Our first dr. appt isn't until Aug 17th and I don't think I can wait that long!

LovingStepMom

We told immediate family and our closest friends at 5 - 6 weeks and then we are waiting to tell for our other friends and family and will let them know around 12 -13 weeks.

LaLO929

We are telling a select few right away but we are waiting to tell most at 12 wks.  With DD we told more then enough people right away and then they tell people.  Going through it once, I want to wait this time.  As for drinking, I have a party on the 31st and if I don't my family will notice.  I will be drinking some mocktails so they don't question me.

SunDrop11

We're telling parents in a couple weeks (I'll be 7, almost 8 weeks along) at a family gathering and then work and friends will get the news once 2nd tri starts. I'll be 10 weeks when I go in for my first appointment, so if all goes well there, we may spill the beans earlier, but we'll see.

AmyNicole622

I've heard (this might be false) after 8 weeks the m/c rate drops down so we plan to wait until that point. We might even wait until we have the NT test done but I doubt DH can. He's too excited!

Sheas

We are telling our parents, grand-parents, siblings and a few of our closest friends after our first appointment.  We will wait until the end of the first tri to tell everybody else.

 I am in the same boat as you.  It is absolutely killing me to wait, but I want to get my first appointment out of the way before we let it loose. 

Good Luck!

carrieandtim

Ditto the closest family and friends this week (6 weeks and some odd days) and then "the rest" around 12 weeks. 

It is SoOoO hard to keep it in!    Good luck!

CutieBean79

We've told our families and my best friend.  We are going to wait to tell other friends until we feel comfortable telling my work - around 12-13 weeks.  I just need to make sure everything is working out through the first trimester before I complicate things at work.  And I can't trust all my friends to keep it a secret on FB and I have work people on FB.

CutieBean79

AmyNicole622:

I've heard (this might be false) after 8 weeks the m/c rate drops down 

 

I've read that too when I googled "miscarriage statistics" - yes, I needed to know.

psychgal

The only person I've told so far is DH, duh, and my best friend. She's my support system since she's been through a m/c and a healthy pregnancy. Other than that we're still discussing who we're going to tell when. We will probably wait to really break the news until after I get past the point where I found out about the m/c last time, which is about 10 weeks. So, close friends and family at that time and then break it wide open in the 2nd tri.

hawaii123

We've managed to keep our infertility struggles a secret for over a year, so I think we're going to wait til 12 weeks.  I only want to tell a coworker so he'll stop bugging me about going to get pop..lol!

62207bride

We plan on telling our parents after our 1st appt Aug 5th (I'll be 8 weeks by the time we break the news) and then waiting to tell everyone else until the end of 1st tri.  We'll see if we can hold out that long after our parents know before people start asking.  

skio

We don't know. We've known for a week and a half and haven't told a soul.

We might tell my parents this weekend. It's my mom's birthday, and if they don't go away, we'll be seeing them for dinner. I don't know if I could NOT tell them at this point.

ILs will be in mid-August at about 9 weeks, after we get the first US and hear the heartbeat. No one else is being told until after 12 weeks.

That's the plan, at least...

jmm31

We told my parents right away and our close relatives...We are going to wait to tell close friends until after our first appt.

hyperangel_8509

We weren't planning to tell anyone until my mom's birthday on August 8th. However, we found out on Friday that my sister is pregnant and DH encouraged me to tell our family (parents and siblings only). So we did. But only family knows for now!

lilsunshine214

We told immediately family and friends within a few weeks of finding out, but we're going to make it "Facebook official" after we hear a heart beat at 9 weeks.

JanaVT9183

I know that I'm in the minority, but by now, I've told just about everyone.  From my calculations, I'll be at least eight weeks by Wednesday (I'll find out for sure at my first appointment Thursday).  We found out June 24, then told our families June 25. 

We ended up telling our church softball team June 27 (my brother is the manager) because I knew they would wonder why I was no longer playing and just keeping the scorebook.  I didn't want them to think I was a sissy who couldn't handle the heat, and I felt like it would be bad karma to make up an untrue reason. 

I told my boss last week because I'm a newspaper reporter, and pregnancy has already limited some of the assignments I can do, (i.e. winery reviews, first person experience articles that can be dangerous).  I didn't want to appear to be a slacker deferring assignments.  He was extremely supportive, so I'm happy I told.  

Yesterday I announced it at church because I really want people praying for my appointment to go well. 

My brother and sister-in-law went the route of waiting until her first appointment to tell, and it was there they found out the embryo had no heartbeat.  Since we never knew she was pregnant, my family could only sympathize for support.  We never felt the excitement of knowing, so it was harder to empathize with the disappointment they were feeling.  I decided then that I'm more of the type to let people know, have those prayers and support, and if it doesn't work out, have a huge network to lean on.

I think after the first time, my brother and sister-in-law decided the same thing because with their next two pregnancies (twins and a single), they told us all right away, and I have three beautiful, healthy nephews. 

I don't think there's a right or wrong time to tell.  It really depends on how private you are.  I'm big into sharing everything I know (I guess that's why I'm a reporter), so for me, it just felt right to tell.  Most people aren't blabbermouths like me and want to wait, and that's perfectly fine too. 

8 )  

Sara*n*Ryan

I will tell my sister, probably very soon. She and I talk about everything and she has two kids, so she's been where I am.

Everyone else will have to wait until after the first u/s. We are visiting DH's brother in two weeks and I'm worried his fiance will figure me out when I don't drink for the entire weekend and then when I don't drink at the wedding we will be at the following weekend!

AKMrsB

We are not telling anyone until SIL has her baby (EDD August 1ish!)...But we will be telling my parents around the 7th of August (I will be 7 weeks) when we go visit them (they live out of state)!  And DH's immediate family when we get back.  It is so hard not telling anyone though!  I talked to my bff (and maid of honor) on the phone yesterday for 3 hours...I almost let it slip more then a few times!!!

scorpioscuba

So far, other than DH of course, I have only told my mom, sister and 2 closest friends who were there for me through my miscarriage. Any one else will not find out until at least we see/hear the heartbeat at my first appointment and that is still up in the air. We may still wait until 12-13 weeks. Having experienced a loss I don't want to have to share that kind of news. When I got pregnant the first time I specifically only told people who I knew I would need for support if the pregnancy didn't work out. I obviously had no clue anything bad would happen at the time so its eerie looking back that that was how I decided who to tell. I'm not telling anyone at work until I'm showing. 

My advice to you is that if you do share the news early, only tell people that you will feel comfortable also sharing the worst case scenario with until you get further along.  

GracieMerritt

We are in the same boat!  We let just immediate family know at 7 weeks,  I believe by 10-12  I will share it with most people.  Hopefully I can wait that long!

  My first doctors appt isn't until I am 9 weeks.  It's driving me crazy to wait!  Good luck and stay in good health!

cdelano

We told our parents already because we wanted to make sure they found out first.  We went on a trip with a bunch of friends and were afraid it would come out then because I wasn't drinking ( which of course it did).   We told everyone to keep it a secret for know and we'll tell everyone else after we see the heartbeat on July 30th when I'm at 8 weeks.

elotus24

I'm more in your boat, Jana.

I had a miscarriage last year just after we found out we were pregnant.  I didn't get a chance to tell anyone we were pregnant in the first place, so it was just a sad call to my parents that we'd had a miscarriage.  

I need support from others and I cope with hardships by talking things out with other people as well, so keeping a miscarriage a secret would be unbearable for me.  

Exactly a year later, we found we were pregnant again and told the whole family at 5 weeks.  We decided we'd rather be whole-heartedly joyful during this time, regardless of what could happen, and we let our family and friends join in the excitement.  We haven't gone super public (facebook/blogs/etc) and would like to wait until we hear the heartbeat in Aug before we do that, but until then, we're thankful to have a network of loved ones around us, celebrating with us & praying for us.  It's comforting to know they'll be there for us, too, if we miscarry again.  (but I don't think we will - I have a good feeling about this one!  We conceived just two days after I'd gotten a negative blood test and I'd cried out to God for Him to help me have children - boy, He answered!)

NavyGMWife

Family at 6 weeks.  Friends at the earliest 10 (my first ultrasound) or at 12 weeks.  DH is really really wanting to tell so I probably wont be able to keep him quiet until 12.

kare81bear

We've told a friend each and are now anxiously waiting for my SS to get home next month so we can tell him and then our families and other friends.  We want to make sure SS is the first in the family to know since he is our little family; he'll be back when I'm about 12.5 weeks, then we might tell ILs after that (or wait until SS spills it is more likely), and my parents are coming for a visit Labor Day weekend, 14 weeks before I get to tell my mom!  Her reaction should be great so I'm glad we're waiting to do it in person

Henry&Mel

I spilled the beans to immediate friends and family right after my BFP. I had to also tell everyone at my work right away too since I do an extremely dangerous job that requires me to lift up 100 lbs.  So, needless to say I needed to let my Captain and fellow employees know that I was on weight restriction.  I hope it doesn't come to bite me in the butt but I really had no choice when it came to my job. I rather be safe and then trying to hide my pregnancy and be required to lift heavy dogs.

 

scherpha

We have already told family and several close friends.  I will be letting my closest girlfriends know at 6 weeks (one day before our first US).  We wanted to have the support if something goes wrong.

I will probably wait for everyone else until about 10 weeks (hopefully a little longer) because I will be back at school then.  We will go FB public in the second trimester!

filecheetah

Have had 2 miscarriages, one at 8 weeks and one at 10 after seeing a heartbeat so I will be waiting until at least 12 weeks this time.  Last time was terrible because it seemed like everyone found out somehow and I couldn't go to the store without someone asking me how the baby was.  I get wanting the support but DH and I have vowed not to go all crazy this time buying things and telling everyone we know before we have a better idea if things are ok so we don't have to play the who knows who doesn't game.

Make sure if you do only tell a few people at first to let them know that it is still a secret.  We thought our parents knew to keep it a secret and then we were getting congratulations cards less than a week after telling them from aunts and cousins we hadn't seen in years.