s/o CIO... (about not checking in)

twirler324

If LO got more upset at the check-ins and you ended up just letting them cry- how long until you'd go in again?  I ask because we tried it the other night- we did 5 min, 10 min and noticed she was getting more and more upset when I went in.  Next, we just let her cry without check ins (we could see her on the monitor).  She continued to cry and was standing in her crib for an hour after the last check in.  Then I went in and rocked her to sleep.  What are your thoughts when they go that long and are still awake and still crying? 

We are at wits end- she only lets me rock her to sleep, and as soon as she is out I move her to the crib.  As soon as she touches the mattress or if she happens to open her eyes on the way to her crib- she loses it.  I just attempted to put her in her crib 3 times before I came out and told DH it was his turn.  This has been awful lately, and I'm not really sure how to handle it!  This only started this past week and she was checked on Monday because I was worried she had another ear infection- everything looked good.

Thank you for any help!!

janinekrause

Before a week ago, you didnt rock her to sleep and she went right in? Sorry- confused by post.

 

As for CIO- if you aren't going to go in, you can't go in. Basically you just stressed yourself out and she cried unnecessarily for an hour. When I did it, DD was only 6 months and needed paci multiple times throughout night. The first night- no joke, she cried for an hour 45 mins. It sucked. Second night- 30 mins, 3rd night- 3 mins. then not at all.

Eventually they just get so tired, they go to sleep.

I would do your routine, then put her in and said good night and leave. if you try 3 times, she is going to expect that crying results in coming right out...

Mrs.Carlybella

B was the same way-  going in made it worse, so we just sucked it up.  I think one bad night it was almost 90 minutes, but that was once and never again.

Going in and rocking her down after the hour basically made that hour sort of worthless and wasted- she cried for nothing.  Now she may think if she cries for an hour mommy is going to come in and snuggle her so may cry that long again.

 

Good luck-  it is super tough, but I will say it got knocked out in under a week and life is wonderful now being able to put him down awake and having him sttn.  We did CIO for multiple wakeups and kept some of the night feedings- he cut them out on his own within 1 month of doing it

mavilabride4evah

If you go in after 5 mins then 10 mins, all it does is teach her to cry more and for longer. I personally think it's worse for them to have mom/dad pop in and out every few minutes and then go away. If you're going to end up rocking anyway, then don't let her cry at all kwim? If you are going to do CIO, then do CIO. She knows she's not alone. She just needs to learn that it's ok to sleep if mom and dad aren't in the room.

twirler324

Sorry for the confusion.  Before last week, I was able to give her the bedtime bottle and put her in her crib after that.  She would either be asleep already (fell asleep with the bottle) or put herself to sleep. 

The only reason I realized I wasn't going to go in is because the first two checks (was following the Ferber recs) resulted in her crying harder.  So, if she was still crying at that hour, how long would you say to let her continue??  My fear is that she will cry all night!  Haha.  I'm sure that is impossible, but just my fear.

Thank you- we'll just have to stick it out and not cave!!!  Haha

bethCT

Ferber's book says that if you let them CIO and then go put them to sleep (rocking in your case, nursing in mine), then you might as well not do the crying step because it teaches them to cry until you come.

DH checked on her and she got worse so that was the last check in.  after about 45 mns total she was quiet and I just checked and she is sleeping. The worst 45 minutes of my life, but she is sleeping...

janinekrause

Fun times huh? it could be a behavior change if it is new. Nothing bothering her during day i.e. teeth? If not, yes leave her.

My pedi said to me when I was considering it, expect 2 hours. He only said because he knew it would be shorter and my expectations were low it was 1 hour 45 the first night- that was actually my fault because i peeked in- she couldn't see me because it got quiet after an hour- she was almost asleep but heard me and it started up again. I thought it would never end and I was going out of my mind. Eventually she gave up- my stubborn baby! it got much better after that.

 

Mrs.Carlybella

you don't go in- you don't set a time.  you just let her go-  she is not going to cry for 8 hrs straight- she'll pass out.

they way it sounds like it is going, if you go in, you will be doing an hour plus of crying nightly

 

I also would be careful about letting her fall asleep on the bottle, that may be messing things up for you a bit-  good luck, it is super hard!

twirler324

I must be a slow typer- I got more responses since I wrote last...

Thank you all for the recs- I feel awful that teh hour was a waste- but totally see why (now)!  This is certainly uncharted waters, so hopefully it doesn't take too long.  I apprecite it!!

mavilabride4evah

twirler324:

I must be a slow typer- I got more responses since I wrote last...

Thank you all for the recs- I feel awful that teh hour was a waste- but totally see why (now)!  This is certainly uncharted waters, so hopefully it doesn't take too long.  I apprecite it!!

Don't fell awful I did that too. As a matter of fact the first night was a huge parenting fail and the poor girl was so confused. Made it so much worse. I kept going in then deciding not to then rocking her but stopping because I was determined to get her to sleep on her own. It was terrible.

And it does get easier. DD still cries a little, maybe a minute tops before falling asleep but no rocking needed which is great.

twirler324

mavilabride4evah:

twirler324:

I must be a slow typer- I got more responses since I wrote last...

Thank you all for the recs- I feel awful that teh hour was a waste- but totally see why (now)!  This is certainly uncharted waters, so hopefully it doesn't take too long.  I apprecite it!!

Don't fell awful I did that too. As a matter of fact the first night was a huge parenting fail and the poor girl was so confused. Made it so much worse. I kept going in then deciding not to then rocking her but stopping because I was determined to get her to sleep on her own. It was terrible.

 

And it does get easier. DD still cries a little, maybe a minute tops before falling asleep but no rocking needed which is great.

Thank you, it is good to see I'm not the only one!  Tonight probably didn't help at all, but now we know!  I am so glad it ended up working for you.  Thank you for the support!!!! 

twirler324

Mrs.Carlybella:

you don't go in- you don't set a time.  you just let her go-  she is not going to cry for 8 hrs straight- she'll pass out.

they way it sounds like it is going, if you go in, you will be doing an hour plus of crying nightly

 

I also would be careful about letting her fall asleep on the bottle, that may be messing things up for you a bit-  good luck, it is super hard!

My fear was to turn into the woman that let her LO CIO for 13 hours straight!!  SO sad.  Has she been on since??