I have tried a few times to talk to my mom about what we are dealing with. Each time, I never know how to start the conversation. My family doesn't really share too much personal information with eachother but it's something I would want my mom to know about ( and hear from me) before anyone else finds out....like my sister who stalks these boards ( not in a mean way,she wants to start trying for a 2nd soon and I think she looks on here to see if she can find me to see what's going on). I don't want to start with "There's something I want to talk about" or "There's something I want to tell you" as those usually put a person on the defensive as they are expecting something life-threatening to follow.
When you tell someone what's going on, how do you start it? I've been trying to see if there's some sort of "in" like if she talks about someone else being KU or something, but so far no such luck.
Re: Conversation starters
Same with my mom. She had 5 kids with-in a 10 year period ! Every.single.day I wish I was as "fertile" as her
My mom is also a very strict Catholic ( went to Parocial School K-12 ) and I'm a bit afraid of what she would say. I want her to know, though, as she's my mom. I know I would be really hurt if my daughter was going through something similar and didn't tell me.
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
I haven't told anyone IRL except for my BFF and she went through IF treatment so I just asked her for the name of her RE and went from there.
I have thought about telling my mom but I'm just not ready to announce my IF struggles to the family. DH and I are private people.
Maybe just start talking to your mom or sister about how long it took them to conceive and ask if they had any troubles, ect.. I think that would lead into a natural conversation about getting tested because you and your DH are having issues and what treatments you will likely go through.
GL!
This seems like a good idea to me!
b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
PAIF/SAIF Welcome
Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
Homestudy 7/19/2011
IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frosties
My mom was as fertile as it comes ( 5 kids in a10 year span) and my sister took only 9 months to conceive her DD . I'm now thinking I may ask her some questions like asking if there was a family history or m/c's or anything. Hmm..... I have to think this over a bit more.
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
This is a very difficult discussion to start. I completely understand where you are coming from. I just told my mom this past weekend that we are planning to do IVF in September. I haven't spoken to her about our IF troubles before. We were in the car by ourselves and I just said something to the effect that "Jim and I are having problems conceiving." She said something to the effect that she thought that might be the case. And I told her that we have been doing IF testing since before my Lap in March. That I am seeing a fertility specialist and that he said our best chance would be to move to IVF. She asked a couple of questions about IVF that I answered. Then she told me to let her know if I needed anyone around for anything.
I was worried that she would have problems with IVF. My family isn't Catholic, but they are very religious. But, my mom was just supportive.
Good luck speaking to your mom about this!
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
TTC#2: Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.
IVF #4: BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #5: MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #6: (New RE): Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN
FET#1: BFN