Heard from Cal's 1/2-sister! (and other coincidences)

SeaSoul · July 2010

Okay, we didn't hear from HER...she's only 4. But we heard from one of her moms! We registered with the Donor Sibling Registry when I got pg with Cal. There were 2 people who had posted as having used the same donor, interested in making contact. Both had daughters, around the same age. I wrote to both but only heard from 1. She was nice but didn't seem too interested in keeping up a correspondence. I wrote them both again this winter when we were trying to track down vials of the same donor to TTC #2. Didn't hear from either of them until today when the one we hadn't heard from previously wrote! Apparently it was an old email address and she hadn't logged on to the DSR site in forever, so she just found my message. She was very responsive and excited, and said that her daughter would be thrilled. (She also said they were about to TTC #2 and had 5 vials of the same donor, so if they conceived before using them up, they'd be willing to give them to us - what timing, eh?!) Very exciting, albeit a little weird...unchartered territory, you know? But I'm happy for Cal. We'll see where this goes. They live clear across the country from us, so...

But it's crazy...this is the 3rd major coincidence in the last week. First, a few days days before my BFP DH got a text from a friend saying he'd heard a rumor I was pg, and asking if it was true. We had not told ANYONE that we were TTC, or even that we had plans for a 2nd. It came out of NOWHERE.

Then, last night, my sister & fam arrived from the west coast toting all of Cal's newborn clothes that my SIL's (my sister's wife) sister had used for her daughter born in January. They did not know I was pregnant yet...just a pure coincidence! Btw, got the cutest shirt for Cal - "big brother to bee" and surprised them that way

So, this is all cool stuff!

TheSkimmy · July 2010

That is so amazing and fun! I'm sure Cal will appreciate all you do for him!!!!!

Mrs.Babbsy · July 2010

That's awesome and what timing!

dejavu · July 2010

OMG! How exciting. I was just going to page you!

I was curious how you planned to handle siblings or if you knew of any other births. We chose a new donor (to the bank) and were the first to have a child from this donor. I just called the sperm bank today and found out that there are 2 other reported births, all boys. So far we are the only ones on DSR although I have been contacted by potential parents looking to use the same donor but have never heard back if they did/didn't.

My first thought was excitement at the prospect of 1/2 siblings, but as it settles in I'm not sure how I feel. There could potentially be A LOT of siblings out there at some point. I don't know how to put this, but I'm not really sure how to feel about sibs. If there aren't many I know it'll be fine, but what if there are 20 kids?? I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Anywho, that is very exciting for you and Cal. Do you know how many 1/2 sibs Cal has? Are you planning to meet up at some point?

marcuej · July 2010

Very cool stuff! I love coincidences like that. I say it means you're in for a happy and healthy pregnancy!!

SeaSoul · July 2010

dejavu:

OMG! How exciting. I was just going to page you!

I was curious how you planned to handle siblings or if you knew of any other births. We chose a new donor (to the bank) and were the first to have a child from this donor. I just called the sperm bank today and found out that there are 2 other reported births, all boys. So far we are the only ones on DSR although I have been contacted by potential parents looking to use the same donor but have never heard back if they did/didn't.

My first thought was excitement at the prospect of 1/2 siblings, but as it settles in I'm not sure how I feel. There could potentially be A LOT of siblings out there at some point. I don't know how to put this, but I'm not really sure how to feel about sibs. If there aren't many I know it'll be fine, but what if there are 20 kids?? I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Anywho, that is very exciting for you and Cal. Do you know how many 1/2 sibs Cal has? Are you planning to meet up at some point?

I understand your feelings, for sure. DH & I haven't quite figured out our own feelings. It IS weird to think of dozens of siblings out there. Part of me thinks maybe we should leave it all up to Cal once he is old enough to understand and decide. And maybe we will. I wouldn't mind keeping up contact with his 1/2-sister's mom and perhaps exchanging photos. Then, when he's old enough, telling him about it and asking if he wants to see a photo and/or talk with her (and/or any others out there). We know there are at least 11 other children of this donor - the bank's limit is 12 families, but that does not include siblings, as families are entitled to use the same donor for siblings. Get it? And since they had no more inventory left of our donor except for sibling inventory, that meant that the family quota had been met.

This is interesting...my sister & her wife met their kids' 1/2-brother through their sperm bank and have a relationship with them. But they have not registered with DSR. Now that this is on my mind, I'm going to ask them why. They probably told me before and I'm not remembering. Maybe they want to limit the number of siblings they are in touch with?

It's a complicated situation, that's for sure!!

oct11bride03 · July 2010

Awesome! I can only imagine how strange this all is for you guys, but it sounds like you'll be able to navigate this uncharted territory with another family (which would be cool).

And I'm still so thrilled that you're PG. I remember you stressing about the timing of the IUI, so I'm relieved that it all worked out.

dejavu · July 2010

When I was speaking with the bank today I asked if there was a limit on offspring. I was told the limit is 40 families worldwide! Like you said, that's not the sibling/child amount, but 40 other families can potentially use this donor (if he stays that long) and who knows how many offspring that may come from these 40 families.

I like your idea of letting Cal decide if he wants to talk to sibs as he gets older, but keeping in touch youself. But also think it might be interesting/fun to have them meet younger (although it's not like DS would understand at a young age and I don't know if I'd be ready for that). At this point, for us, we have not been contacted by any parents, nor have any registered on DSR (other than us) to worry about it. And it'll be interesting when he's 18 b/c we used an open donor that would be willing to be contacted.