Does it still bother you?

jastl32

When you hear about other people getting pregnant...especially on the first try?

A few months ago, I told a coworker that I was expecting. She mentioned she and her husband were thinking of "trying" beginning late this summer. I told her my one recommendation was if she knew they wanted to try, was to start a little earlier than they thought they'd be ready because I only knew 1 person who got pregnant on the first try.

So - she IM's me at work today to tell me that low and behold...they took my advice and she got pregnant on the first try.

I guess part of me getting upset, even though I am happy for her, is I somewhat felt like she was throwing it in my face...because I know she knows it took me longer than I wanted and I'm almost positive someone told her I had fertility issues.

How do you feel?

BunnyintheYard

Yes.  As a matter of a fact, I am skipping a baby shower next weekend as I just don't think I can manage sitting through it. 

I think this long 2 year experience with IF will forever be with me.  IF has taken the joy and replaced it with fear.  I pray it goes away and I can be like everyone else, happy and pregnant and joyous.  But for now (and it's still early for me), I'm nervous, still sad and still a little bitter.

I think I might always mourn what I will never have, which everyone else seems to have, which is that dream of having a romantic night with my husband and 2 weeks later being surprised by a pregnancy. 

Hugs.

4510heather

Yep.  Got a pregnancy announcement from friends last night who just celebrated their first wedding anniversary.  Happy for them, but the announcement still stung.  I am still a nervous wreck, paranoid between us that something is wrong, paranoid about making plans for the nursery, picking names, etc, while they get to avoid all of that angst.

Kiki11

Yes.  It absolutely still bothers me.  It is a sting that I don't anticipate going away anytime soon.  I am definitely happy for people, but it still hurts. 

perry7285

yes, i'm still a little annoyed by people who are especially fertile.

i can see what you're saying about how it kind of seems like she was deliberately rubbing it in your face . . . but i also think it's probably best to give her the benefit of the doubt.

i'm sorry you had to deal with this. (((hugs)))

waitwhat

Kiki11:

Yes.  It absolutely still bothers me.  It is a sting that I don't anticipate going away anytime soon.  I am definitely happy for people, but it still hurts. 

 

This is how I feel too. 

I have three good friends and several acquaintances that are all pregnant right now too.... each getting pregnant on the first month.   I feel so different than them.

newsbaby

All of these scenarios  definitely still bother me. One would think since we have finally been blessed, it would be different but its not. Like heather4510 said, I am very hesitant to think about the names, nursery, or any day past today. I am not even enjoying myself because I am just so paranoid and worried at all times. 

I wish I could tell the people who get pg so easily to count their blessings. They should thank God they have not gone through the hell we have. My feelings are not changing anytime soon.

BunnyintheYard

A friend of mine posted this as her status on FB... she's not IF but I really felt like it resonated a little...

?"The loss of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.?

 

jastl32

perry7285:

yes, i'm still a little annoyed by people who are especially fertile.

i can see what you're saying about how it kind of seems like she was deliberately rubbing it in your face . . . but i also think it's probably best to give her the benefit of the doubt.

i'm sorry you had to deal with this. (((hugs)))

Yes - you are right. As I thought about it more...I do think I need to do this. I don't think it was purposeful as she is not a mean person by any means. I do think she was looking for a friend and someone at work to have something in common with...and I'm trying to keep that in perspective.

Thanks to everyone for responding.  

lolacanoli

Yep, same here. I still reflexively give the stink-eye to most pregnant people, which I know is lame and immature, but I can't help it. I am also very uncomfortable when fertile pregos talk to me about their pregnancy or ask about mine, mostly because they seem so extra-terrestrial to me STILL. I think what grinds my nerves the most, though, is that most of those fertile pregnant ladies have such blind faith that their pregnancy will work out perfectly and seem to have no fear or anxiety that things could downshift rapidly at a moment's notice. Every small tremble or worry feels hugely seismic to me, and I place the blame for that squarely on the shoulders of IF.