Just told my dad he needs to move out

Hippinski · July 2010

No joke. I told him that because AGAIN he can't pay us the $$ he owes us on our payment plan that he will now need to find another place to live come Oct 1st.

I also told him I am tired of playing games. He is an adult and needs to start acting like it and taking responsibility for his actions. A part time job doesn't pay his rent, bills and child support. He needs to grow up and stop trying to blame his crap on other people.

I know he is in recovery for his alcoholism but he has just gone from one addiction to another my whole life. I just told him that he is a dry drunk and that I am done playing co-dependent games. It needed to be said...but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

ETS: Just talked to dh and we agreed that we will tell him Oct 1st instead of the original Sept 1. We just aren't signing another lease with him.

papagena · July 2010

Sorry you're dealing with it and that it hasn't worked out better!

CeltiCutie · July 2010

I am so sorry. I can imagine how hard that was for you, but like you said you have to do what's right and best for you and your family now. He needs to grow up and take responsibility for himself. Just because you won't support him financially doesn't mean you are not supporting him in his recovery efforts ya know? He may act like that but you know it's not true and somewhere he does too. I hope he can get his act together. ((hugs))

Mystery2B · July 2010

I'm sorry. I know that dealing with this must be really hard, and the stress of it can't be good for your back.

Are you going to have to move then or can you say in the house without him paying part of the rent? (Or has he not really been paying it anyway...).

Meg41208 · July 2010

Good for you. You can't help people who won't help themselves. It must sting a little, but you need to do what's best for your own family.

Hippinski · July 2010

Mystery2B:
Are you going to have to move then or can you say in the house without him paying part of the rent? (Or has he not really been paying it anyway...).

We should be able to make it. All he's been paying really is rent...and he has even missed that some. He hasn't been paying his portion of the bill and he still owes us LOTS of money from before.

I should have known better. But I wanted to believe in him.

ETA: And I'd rather have things be tight when it's just us than pay for him to freeload. KWIM?

LittleFuller · July 2010

I'm really sorry that it came to this. I'm sure it was such a difficult conversation to have with him. ((HUGS)) I hope this is a good wake up call for him.

lytedark · July 2010

*hugs*

i know how hard that was for you and how badly you wanted it to work out but you're doing the right thing. just keep reminding yourself of that

Sassy_Cassie · July 2010

((Hugs)) You know what's best for you and your family. Sounds super cheesy but follow your heart.

DizzyBlonde · July 2010

**hugs** Unfortunately, I know all too well how you are feeling. My mom was living with us earlier in the year after she lost her job, and we finally had a major huge blowout fight and I told her she had to leave (she had actually already signed a lease on a new apartment at the time, but wasn't moving for some reason...). Anyway, we're dealing with the residual money issues now and her not paying us back for rent & things we paid for on her behalf. It's frustrating and infuriating and I keep feeling like I SHOULD have known better (I *DID* know better, but I did it anyway, thinking I should/could trust her, only to have her threaten to not pay us because DH won't commit to an open-ended day of helping her move stuff from a storage locker to her apartment - because apparently he owes her that).

Anyway, sorry to thread-jack, but I hope that this decision helps you guys deal with the situation and feel more in control of your home/space/lives.