vent/concern--baby size

KYmama9286

So I have gotten used to getting tons of comments about how tiny Nicholas is, having people be completely shocked when they find out his age, etc. but lately I've had a hard time w/ worrying that he is never going to "catch up". I know that it can take years for small kids to catch up w/ their peer group

It doesnt help either that my church is like a baby factory and I literally know 10 people who had babies w/in 1 month of Nicholas so I have tons of kids that I cant help but compare to--its even harder when I see my friends son who was 1 month AFTER Nicholas (April 3) and was born early at 30 weeks b/c of pProm who is now as big as Nicholas! I figured another small preemie would at least be a little smaller than Nick, esp. since he is a month younger but I finally saw him at church today and he is really close to being the same weight as Nick.

I know that size doesnt = health necessarily (Nicholas has been incredibly healthy where as some of the other kiddos have had some health issues) but its still hard because now I feel like I am just worried that hes going to have other developmental issues like not rolling over, etc. Basically I know I need to just chill about it but I needed to get that out--DH gets kinda annoyed when I vent about stuff like this but I knew you all wouldnt mind my ramblings

AmandaAndJason09

Hang in there! A close friend of the family had a girl super early like Nicholas, and at 1 year old, she is still in 6-9 month clothes! But even though she's super tiny, she runs and crawls and does as much as her little body will allow. She isn't quite as far in physical developmental skills as her peers, but every other developmental skill is on par or ahead of her peers. And most importantly, she is a happy and healthy little girl :-)

I know it's hard not to compare, but you are a great mom and your doctor would've told you if he/she was worried about Nicholas' development. Try not to let it bother you too much and keep doing what you are doing! And feel free to vent anytime :-)

hannah&ben

My older son is really small - I can sympathize with the comments from people... he only weighed 14 pounds on his first birthday.  At age 5 he's still small - in the 5-10th % - but people don't say anything anymore b/c he's 'big enough'.

Nicholas can't stay baby-sized forever   He will get bigger!  Until then, just ignore people and enjoy your baby.

I know this is such a cliche but babies only are only small for such a little while.  Seriously, it's like you blink and they're 5 years old.  Please don't waste this time worrying about what others think or about things you can't change... he will grow at his own pace and he's already a beautiful, precious boy. 

Don't worry!  I know it's easier said than done but it will be ok.

hannah

katpres06

Darn it! I typed out a nice (long, of course) reply, and it disappeared!

Oh well... Just wanted to say that, Lauren, you're doing such an awesome job making sure that Nicholas is a strong, healthy baby. I think it's normal to compare. I do it with Alex! Unfortunately, I'm sure it's something we'll be doing for the rest of their lives.

hav2run

Brenna is a peanut too.  People always have commented on how tiny she is.  I used to get worried about it or slightly offended, but now that she is older, I love that people think she is much younger than she is.  She opens her mouth, starts talking in sentences, and has them gasping.  It is quite funny for me now.  Not so much early on though. There are plenty of 15-18 month olds who are Brenna's size or bigger right now. Do not get caught up in comparing your child to someone else's.  That is the worst thing you can do.  Every child is different, and the growth chart is only a measurement of averages.  That assumes 50% will be above, and 50% will be below.  We have always been on the low end, and I am at peace with that.  I prefer to keep her little for now, knowing full well she will catch up very soon.  Nicholas will get there too.  Love that you have a peanut right now, embrace it, because very soon, he will catch right up with everyone else's kid.  It will be ok.  I understand being annoyed.  I was too at first.

kel716

It's so hard to let other's comments get to you!  Try not to as hard as that is.  I think pp's gave great advice, and think about it...  he'll be able to be "under 2" and "free" that much longer! 

Oh, and I think everyone comments on size because they have nothing better to talk about.  It's their way of making small talk... I don't think people really think about what they're saying.  It's the same thing as those rude pregnancy related comments (when are you going to have kids (even if you're struggling ttc), wow you look like you're having twins!, or When are you going to try for #2?).  You know what?  It's nobody's business! 

mrs.george2be04

Since Logan was born, (hell, since I was pregnant) I've come to realize there is apparently no "perfect" size for babies.  When people are pregnant most people get at least one comment saying they are either too big or too small, when they are almost always measuring just fine.  Then when the baby gets here it's either "huge" or "tiny."  Unfortunately everyone thinks they are an expert on what a baby (or baby belly) should look like. 

Logan eats like a truck driver and always has, but he was under the 25th % ile for weight until he was 9 months old.  He was also in the 95th %ile for height which made him look even more skeletal.  My MIL told me my husband looked exactly the same, except even thinner.  The pedi always told me he was thin, but perfectly healthy, so I tried to drown out the comments of those around me, and the ones in my own head.  At 2 years, he's in the 90th %ile for both height and weight.

Nicholas is just 4 months old, he still has plenty of time to play catch up.  Or he may just be on the small side, and as long as the pedi isn't concerned, I would try not to be either.

jerseygirl81

People just need to learn to keep their mouths shut. I get it all the time about Charlie. He's not even on the weight charts. His pedis aren't worried about it, so I try not to worry, either, and just tell people that his doctors say that he's right on track.

There's nothing wrong with little peanuts!

Meg41208

jerseygirl81:

People just need to learn to keep their mouths shut. I get it all the time about Charlie. He's not even on the weight charts. His pedis aren't worried about it, so I try not to worry, either, and just tell people that his doctors say that he's right on track.

There's nothing wrong with little peanuts!

Katie's also not on the weight charts and is in the lowest percentiles for height.  Our pedi is not concerned with her small size, and neither are we.  DH and I were also small as children - I was always the shortest kid in the class in school until 8th grade.  I'm average size now, and DH is just a little shorter than average.  

 

Lyons_in_2007

People are downright foolish; but I can sympathize with how you are feeling.  It STILL stings when people (especially family) comments on how tiny Jacob was during his first few months.  Most of the sting relates to feeding issues, issues that were not as apparent to me as (in hindsight) I feel they probably should've been.  I blamed myself then, and any time I hear one of those dumb a$$ comments, I blame myself all over again.  Try not to do that.  As long as YOU know that he's healthy and thriving and that YOU are doing all you can to ensure that continues, that's all that matters.

andailey

Lauren - as a fellow Mom of a preemie/tiny peanut, I can totally understand how you're feeling about people's comments about Nicholas's size. My best advice? Try your best to ignore everyone, and just look at how happy and healthy your son is. That's ALL that matters!  Randoms STILL mention things about DD's small size, and she's almost 2.5 yrs. old! I just have a snappy retort like, "Yes, she was born prematurely, but she's a happy, healthy girl!!"

DD was born at 36w2d at 4 lb. 11 oz/17.5 inches, and she continues to struggle to gain weight/height. She was diagnosed with FTT (failure to thrive) at 9 mos.

I nearly gave myself an ulcer from worrying the first year of her life. She underwent tons of tests, etc. at Children's to rule out any other factors possibly impeding her growth. There wasn't ever anything discovered, just the fact that she is tiny, and will always be probably. I'm only 5'2", so pedi seems to think DD will take after me and be petite.

Madelyn turned 2 in March, and she just now weighs 22 lbs. At one year, she weighed 14 lbs. 11 oz. (10 lb. gain since birth) She has NEVER been on the charts for either height or weight. She is only 30'' now, which is worrysome for the pedi.   We're just taking it day by day, offering her as many various foods/snacks as possible to get her to eat. She's not a big eater, and would rather play/explore.

I know how easy it is to compare your LO's development (size/height/developmental skills) with other kids who were born around the time of Nicholas. I still have trouble with it now, but try to put it out of my mind. Hell, my friend's kids who were born a YEAR after Madelyn are all much bigger than DD. 

Every child is different, and that's what I keep telling myself. That, and as long as DD is happy, healthy, making progress developmentally and with her eating, that's all DH and I care about!

Sorry for the novel! I'm here anytime to listen.