Update on me.

lyse2143

Today was my lap. The official diagnosis was that I am as clean as a whistle. No endo anywhere. I am very emotional right now and full of mixed emotions. I certainly am happy that there is "nothing wrong with me." But here is what is going through my head right now.

Why I am frustrated:

1) If no endo, why the hell is my ute all the way left of my spine (which can be normal), but what wasn't normal, was why it didn't move when they tried to tug on it during my HSG?? (I didn't get to talk to my doctor, but will be asking this as soon as I do).

2) I feel as though this was a waste of time. I could have just waited to see if we were or were not successful after a few months of trying before doing it. I didn't HAVE to do it. I guess I just didn't want anything standing in our way, and feel as though we've waited long enough to have our baby.

3) Why in the hell do they not have better technology that they can't officially diagnose this any other way?

4) Now this puts all the burden on DH.

5) I feel awful that I wasted a day of my mom's vacation, not to mention caused worry in her, DH, my family, and friends.

6) I'm just a statistic. All the classic signs and family history, but no endo. Makes me feel like a hypochondriac.

Why I am happy or should be happier:

1) There is NOTHING wrong with me. I'm 100% normal and fertile. Or should be fertile.

2) I lost 4lbs from the bowl prep.

3) We can start TTC as soon as AF comes, which should be in about 10ish days.

4) I really have no pain right now. Not that they did anything to cause it, but looks like I'll be back on my feet sooner than expected and ready for my wine festival (WOOT!).

5) I'm the good kind of statistic. All the classic signs and family history, but no endo.

6) DH has his check up next Monday for the 1 month post-op check after his varicocele repair, and we will find out when we can get the SA done to check his results.

Ok, ok I know that some of these are ridiculous and whiny, I just can't help but feel conflicted and upset. My mom just thinks that I'm emotional from the anesthesia like she used to get, but its not just that. Thank you for listening if you got this far.

MrsTucker07

I completely understand how you feel! I had symptoms of endo and my mom had a bad case of it, but I was also clean as a whistle. It's frustrating because I went through all the pain and soreness of surgery for no real answers.

I'm glad you're feeling good though! Get some Miralax to take for the next few days...you'll be glad you did. 

lyse2143

MrsTucker07:

I completely understand how you feel! I had symptoms of endo and my mom had a bad case of it, but I was also clean as a whistle. It's frustrating because I went through all the pain and soreness of surgery for no real answers.

I'm glad you're feeling good though! Get some Miralax to take for the next few days...you'll be glad you did. 

Its nice to know I'm not alone. Really though, after that bowl prep I should still take the Miralax? I do have some, so thanks for the suggestion. 

zookbride

Oh Lyse, ((BIG HUGS)) I am so glad nothing was wrong with you either...but I totally understand your frustration.

I pray that your DH gets good results from the post-op check...and I hope you guys get your miracle soon. 

You do have some really good "things to be happy about"...Yay for losing 4 lbs and Yay for wine festival!! 

Scout05

I don't think any of these are whiny, and I don't blame you at all for feeling conflicted. There is great news here, but that doesn't mean the other stuff isn't going to weigh heavy or upset you.

:::Hugs:::

loloindiego

((((huge hugs)))) I know you're really frustrated right now, but try to keep focusing on those positives you listed. Your dh took care of what he needed to take care of, so I have nothing but high hopes for you guys to be pregnant very soon.

And hellooooo.. wine festival? You need to be smiling over that alone.

MrsTucker07

lyse2143:

MrsTucker07:

I completely understand how you feel! I had symptoms of endo and my mom had a bad case of it, but I was also clean as a whistle. It's frustrating because I went through all the pain and soreness of surgery for no real answers.

I'm glad you're feeling good though! Get some Miralax to take for the next few days...you'll be glad you did. 

Its nice to know I'm not alone. Really though, after that bowl prep I should still take the Miralax? I do have some, so thanks for the suggestion. 

Yep, my nurse told me to. 

STL34

I am so sorry you went through all of that, but at least you know for sure that endo isn't standing in your way.  It is hard even if there is endo.  Its not fun and it isn't necessarily a fix all.  I didn't have to do a bowel prep so, all I can say is that it sounds terrible.

About the Miralax one of the PPs mentioned, if you are taking pain meds or they gave you IVF pain meds, they can make you constipated.  It is better to prevent the problem than to try to treat it after the fact!

I hope you have a very speedy recovery!

Temp356619000002780

Oh hon I know your frustrated, but all in all this is great news...!

BBColt78

I can understand all of your feelings. I do want to say that it's great you had this done. You have no "what if's" on that end. So many people go through fertility treatments to have them fail and then find out they should have had this done. It was a good idea IMO

 Let's get AF here and get you procreating! I hope YH results are fab

wordslikeswords

I'm not sure what to say, but I just wanted to give you a (hug). I'm glad your tests were ok and I hope you feel better soon.

AmberZ2be

I am so sorry you are frustrated-but it is all valid reasons to feel the way you do. ((hugs))

Jezebell26

In the end, you got great news. I can definitely see why you are frustrated. But now you can move on with a little bit of a clearer conscious. GL to you!

qtsreign

Aww, Lyse, I hope things get back to normal for you very soon.

Mrs. Mo

I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that but it's good to know that everything is in working order. It's better to know that everything is ok than just to assume ( or to flat out NOT know one way or another). {{{hugs}}} though for being so frustrated

lyse2143

Thanks ladies! Your support and understanding means the world.

rebelina1

Even though it is great news that you had no endo I can understand why you would feel emotional.

I hope your recovery is easy!

Milliways

::lurking for TTGP::

I am so glad that everything is good with you and that your recovery will be quick. I can't imagine how conflicted you feel right now, but you and your DH will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

mikeandangie

I can understand feeling frustrated about going through surgery and finding nothing. I almost felt relief when the RE was able to pinpoint some of the stuff that was wrong with me.

But on the bright side, 4 pounds is awesome, recovery sounds like it will be a breeze, and don't even get me started about that wine festival

Fingers crossed for next cycle.

red1976

Got your msg and needed to come and see how it went. I'm so happy for you that you're squeaky clean I agree with you that in this day and age they should come up with a better test. But at least now you know! You and YH are GTG as they say!! BFP here you come .... !!!

heathercara

I'm sorry you are struggling with this right now Lyse.  Big hugs Love.  Enjoy that wine fest and forget about all this for a bit.