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anyone give up BF to keep sanity
I'm pumping since my twins were born a bit early and had trouble latching on in the hospital (even with the help of LC).
I still don't produce enough to feed each baby fully. So they get what I can produce in breast milk and then formula. I've been at this for 3 weeks. I pump every 3 hours at least. Don't know how at this pace I'll keep up once they start eating even more or even think about getting a stash for the refrig. I could try and pump ever 2 hours, but not sure I'll get to it. My husband went back to work and is exhausted as am I. He does help out alot. We don't have any family that lives close to us.
Last night I did the 3am feeding. I was up for 2 hours, feeding, burping and changing the 2 of them, then went to pump for 30 min. Only to think.. they'll be up in 1 hour and then it starts all over again. And so it did..which don't get me wrong, I know it's my job to take care of them, but I just can't help but wonder if we'd all be happier making it a bit easier on all of us. Taking the easy way out isn't always the best. 
I feel like I can't devote the time I need to them, cuz.. I'm thinking about feeding the next one and then trying to get some more breast milk for them.
Help.. any advice and comments are welcome.
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Re: anyone give up BF to keep sanity
I was never able to BF, but did EP for 2 months. I was never able to produce enough and once I was home alone with two babies EPing just didn't work for us. I was going nuts and something had to give. That was it.
Hang in there if you can, don't quit on a bad day, and be sure you are at peace with your decision. But if you do quit, don't feel guilty.
please please please don't feel badly about this. i only lasted 6 weeks with my DD, i can't imagine going for very long with 2!
the best thing you can do for your babies is be the happiest mom you can be.
omg. I could have written this exact post.
I felt like I was slowly going insane. The frustration of BF and it taking FOREVER, esp at night, was making me physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I felt like when I was finally done BFing, pumping, and changing diapers, it was time to start all over again.
When the twins were 3.5 weeks old I made the switch to exclusively pumping. It wasn't easy because I had never ever imagined that I wouldn't nurse. I had to come to grips with the fact that it just wasn't coming naturally to me and that I could keep trying but risk losing my sanity completely.
My new routine is to pump at least every three hours. I will feed the babies, then put them in their bouncy seats once they have burped. This is important because I can't pick them up when I'm pumping, so I make sure they are calm and relaxed and have a paci nearby. I make sure I pump at least once (for 15-20 mins or so) before their next feeding. Getting a quality pump that can be used hands-free is essential. I have the Medela Freestyle. It's an investment, but totally worth it if you plan to take it seriously and exclusively breastfeed via bottle. I cut two holes in an old sports bra so that I can comfortable pump hands free. I usually wash bottles while I pump. If the bottles are done I get on the computer and check emails and play on the bump (I am pumping riiiight now
)
You will be surprised how quickly your supply will grow. At first I had to supplement with formula, but now I am consistently producing about 5 oz per breast (10 oz total) each pumping session. I try to freeze at least 10-20 oz per day. I want a freezer stash because I fear the day will come when I can't keep up with the babies' demand any more
You can increase your supply by pumping until your breasts are completely empty. Don't look at the timer on your pump (the 15 mins part is not important), the emptying of the breasts is more important because when they are empty, it signals for your body to produce more. I have also heard of an herb called fenugreek which is supposed to increase milk supply, but you'd obviously have to check with your doctor before taking it.
I hope this helps. Remember, you will be a better mother to your babies if you are emotionally and mentally happy (SANE!) and there is NOTHING wrong with pumping, or even with formula feeding for that matter. Do what works for you and your babies.
Good luck!
I'm struggling with this too. I pump and feed some throughout the day. However I will be honest and say "we supplement with breastmilk" because I just can't keep up. First off I have a low supply, and secondly I haven't been able to concentrate on increasing my supply. (we are renovating and on a typically day I have a house full of male workers).
Thank you PP for the sports bra suggestion. I'm definately going to do that....
Lori
E&E 5.18.04: A 7.4.06: J&Z 5.24.10
how old are your LOs? no ticker
when mine were really little i mostly pumped at night, and kept BF attempts for daytime. though really, i didn't get more than 30min sleep stretches for the first few mos. i was delirious - i do not recommend. at about 4mos audrey really got the hang of BF so i nursed her at night, but they were only getting up once or twice at that point.
why pump for 30min? 15min should do it i think. i know by the time you get set up, pump, put milk away it can be 30min. i might try feeding them at the same time, in bouncies, or w/dh, at night. or do split shifts w/dh, so you can get a couple solid hours after pumping.
it's a very personal thing. i have mixed emotions about my experience still. ended up completely done at 7mos.
I struggled with bf'ing with ds...I can't imagine trying to keep your milk supply up and nursing two : /
Please don't beat yourself about or feel guilty....feel good in knowing that you tried your best!
I stressed over it for 5 months...I was so determined I could do it and blamed myself everyday for the little supply I had. I pumped after every feed so I could build my supply and it just didn't work : / I didn't have enough for ds....I could pump for 25 minutes and get 2 oz COMBINED! so frustrating...I felt awful and guilty and one day I realized...this is taking time away from my son and the stress was making me not enjoy the times with him because I was constantly trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
finally I came to the conclusion that he would be fine...I gave it my best shot, hung in there for 5 months and it just wasn't worth my well being or stress levels to continue. He would be fine on formula...lots of babies are formula fed.
I still felt guilty until my milk dried up and some days struggled with the decisions but as my milk dried up and my stress levels went...I was a whole new person.
good luck with your decision...it is a very personal and hard decision to make but don't let guilt play a part. Just because you aren't nursing, doesn't mean you are any less of a mom!
you have done a great job already. BF and/or pumping for twins is hard and draining on you. there have been many times i wanted to quit and use formula, but i know myself and how up set i would be. so i do the best i can and they get one to two bottles of formula a day.
you need to do what is best for you and your family. don't let anyone tell you different you have done so much already. if you do choose to stop just make sure you are at peace with it.
I just did this week. I was pumping. It was such a hard, guilt riden choice. But i am glad i did. I was not getting enough for all 3 to even make half of their bottles and the time i was taking and lack of sleep was not working out. I feel much better and trying to get over the guilt, but it means more time with my babies.
I gave it up after 2 weeks with just one baby - latching issues and not a huge supply. I felt totally liberated. I had some guilt, but got over it after a few good nights sleep.
I gave the twins 2 weeks as well. They are thriving on formula. I am still at the end of my rope often - can't imagine if I was still bf-ing.
The first several weeks is the toughest. I did BF, pump, bottle (whatever BM I had plus any needed formula) at each feeding until I got the green light from the pedi to just BF. Babies were staying latched more consistently, gaining well and my supply was better. (I did continue pumping for daycare and to maintain a good supply, but not to the same extent.)
I am someone who didn't even know if I wanted to BF at all, and I continued past 1 year.
If you really want to continue, just know it will get easier. If you aren't tandem feeding yet, it is probably in the future as the babies get older and stronger. That will help make a world of a difference.
But, whatever you decide will be best for you, and obviously formula is a good choice for many!
I did. I was only able to BF for 3 1/2 weeks and that was not much of breast feeding. My girls were preterm and didn't latch well. One did better than the other and the one that didn't we had to supplement because the pedi. were able to give me the "failure to thrive" words that I didn't want to hear and land her back in the hospital. So I started to pump. But my milk would not come in, no matter what we tried. They told me I had to pump every hour if I was ever going to be able to feed both babies breast milk. I tried, but it just didn't happen. At 3 1/2 weeks I landed back in the hospital with severe pelvic pains and ended up having a D&C because of infected retained products. This ended up being the cause of my milk not coming in because the day of my D&C my HCG levels were 80, so my body still thought I was pregnant. I had to be away from the babies for almost 2 days and my husband and some family friends took care of them. The went on all formula at that point.
I had a lot of guilt about that, but when I came home and didn't have to pump all the time and could actually take care of my babies instead of just shuffling them around the room between feeding them and pumping, it was for the best. I was also able to get more sleep at night and that was the main reason I got over the not breastfeeding. I needed my rest to be their for my girls.
Every little bit helps, so since you have given them what you can at this point and you feel it is best for your family, then I say stop. As my Mom told me, "When Mommy is not happy the family is not happy." And she was so right.
My girls started to really thrive after I put them on formula. In these past 2 years that have rarely gotten sick. The have had colds, but all babies get colds. I have never had a doc visit for illness and neither of them has had any ear infection. So I don't think formula feeding has hurt them in any way.
I gave up nursing after a few days just to stay sane
I was never that into it - with my first son I was going to nurse - he was doing GREAT and then I got sick and had to pump and dump for a few days - and during that time bottle feeding him I realized I liked bottle feeding so much more --- i could see his face, knew how much he was eating, others could feed him, i could feed without dealing with my boob out in front of people, etc.... So I EP'd for him for 2 months - then gave that up b/c I needed my body back (I got migraines and couldn't take meds for them while nursing or pg - and after 10mo of that I was done).
With the twins I figured I'd try nursing again - just to make life easier with not having to clean as many bottles.... They did great the first couple days - then both started boycotting every other feed --- and with jaundice we had to suppliment with bottles --- so I just said "screw it" and went to bottle feeding.
I EP'd for them for a month - and then stopped b/c it took up too much time --- time I did not have b/c of twins + toddler (and i got mastitis during that time, too = sucked bad).
do what works for YOU. I never felt guilt for stopping - I knew my babies were fine - they were happy- i was happy - that is all that mattered.
this exactly...I am so much happier
i'd also like to add...everyone told me it would get easier, each month I would say 'two more weeks' and then that two weeks would end and I would be told it would get easier, so I would give it another 2 weeks...it never got easier.
For some people it does, and others it doesn't..its that simple. enjoy your time with your LO's...they are only that size once and they will be fine on formula
*raises hand*
I BF'd for 6.5 weeks. Well, I tried to. I had major supply problems and tried everything - drinking tons of water, BFing constantly, pumping, even got a prescription for domperidone from my doctor, but still couldn't provide more than half their food. Our routine was for me to BF the boys for about 45 minutes, then supplement with formula (20 mins) then pump between feeds (I only had a single pump so I had to do one side at a time, meaning it took about 1 hour total). I literally spent no time doing anything but feeding them. It was exhausting and frustrating and I cried about it every day. I wanted desperately to BF but felt like I was struggling so hard to do it that I couldn't enjoy my babies or enjoy being a mother.
Giving up BFing was a very difficult decision since it was the only thing I'd really wanted (didn't care about vag birth vs c-section or anything like that, but I DID want to BF). I'm still sad about it sometimes, but I don't doubt that I did the right thing. Now I can take the time that I spent BFing and pumping and use it with them - to play, cuddle, read books, etc.
Oh, and I wouldn't necessarily call formula the easy way out. It's expensive and not nearly as convenient as BFing - you have to prepare the bottles, wash them, etc., so it's far more time consuming.
Ah yes - this, too! My original goal was 4 weeks, and I wanted to give up after 2. But everyone kept saying it would get easier, so I stuck it out for that first month because everyone SWORE it was easier after that, and because I really wanted to make it to my goal. Then I started wanting to give up again and everyone told me oh no, it's easier after SIX weeks, not four! So I stuck it out again...and it still wasn't any easier. Then a lactation consultant told me that it gets easier after 12 (TWELVE!) weeks so I should stick it out until then! And then I gave up.
I think at that point I could safely say I'd tried my hardest and it just.didn't.work.
I'm not saying that it doesn't get easier for a lot of people, but I think there are others - like me and carolina - that it simply doesn't get easier for, no matter how long you struggle with it.