SAHM Wardrobe
I've really started to feel down on myself. I love being a stay at home mom, but I've started to feel like that's all I am.. that I'm not me anymore, just a mom. So to combat this, I've started looking at/enrolling in classes and fun opportunities around town. I think the way I dress day to day is a big factor though. I don't feel very cute. I know my husband thinks I'm beautiful, but it would really help in our physical relationship if I felt I was attractive.
What do you ladies wear day to day.. especially days where you aren't going anywhere but your yard or a walk to the park?
Also, if you don't mind, what outside interests keep you feeling like you.. I'm trying to experiment with different things to see what I enjoy.
I really appreciate any response. Thanks so much.
Re: SAHM Wardrobe
I am a jeans/capri/shorts and a tee/tank kind of girl. Sometimes I will wear a sundress. I get a little dressier on the weekends but not too much. I still have a toddler to chase around then too.
Things I do for me, well not much at this point in time but I am starting school this fall and really looking forward to doing that for me and my families future. In the past though I have taken cooking classes with my sister, had a girls night here or there, nothing too often though.
In the summer I am pretty much a skirt and sundress girl with nice sandals or nicer (leather, etc) flip flops. Non t-shirt tops (nicer tanks, blouses, etc. This summer I am loving tunics and long ruffle tanks) Most of my stuff is from Banana Republic, Anthropologie, J Crew...so casual but still put together. H&M for trendy, more "disposable" items.
For outside interests....I do volunteer work, am on the board of my MOMS Club (I guess that isn't really an outside interest, but it keeps me busy!), and go to the gym 4 days a week. I try to set small goals for things to work towards - I am doing my first 5K soon, I do the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer every year so fundraise/train for that, etc.
Good luck! I know from experience how it is to feel like you are stuck in a SAHM rut...
I go through phases where I feel the same. Can I ask how old your LO is? I found that this feeling, in general, has decreased the older my DD gets. She is 15 months old now and I am feeling more "me" all the time since she is much more independent and I have a bit more time to myself to dress, put on makeup, etc.
My wardrobe is pretty basic. I need to wear clothes that can get dirty (and I won't care) and that are comfortable for me to wear.
I bought a stack of 10 happy color tanktops on sale for $3.50 each. Then, I bought some neutral 'workout' type shorts to go with them and a pair of black yoga pants. That's what I wear when I go to the park, shopping, etc. If I want to look a little better I simply throw on jeans and a cute necklace w/ some makeup & bobby pins in my hair. I have about 5 nice shirts for date nights along with two pairs of good jeans. Sundresses are easy and can be dressed up or down.
In the summer I wear shorts and cute fitted t-shirts most days with flip flops or wedges when I'm in jeans. In the winter it's long sleeve tees, sweater coats, jeans and Privos. I've been trying to exercise 5 days a week this summer which has gone a long way in making me feel better about myself.
I have my calendar on my computer and I'm always looking a couple of weeks out to make sure I've got plenty to do during the day. In the summer I hire a neighbor girl as a mother's helper so I can meet a friend for lunch, go to a bookstore or take a yoga class.
The book "Happy Housewives" by Darla Shine gave me a good attitude adjustment when I started feeling down and in a SAHM rut.
My daughters will turn 2 this month and 1 in September. They're 14 months apart. It can be hard at times to take them both out, depending upon what I'm wanting to do.
I'm glad other people understand 'the rut'. I feel like a horrible person for even saying it outloud. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I need to feel like I'm more than someone's wife and someone's mother.. I need my own identity. I did get a trainer a few months ago and have been working out to combat the post-baby weight. I do attend school, I take online classes, though I'm not this summer. I considered taking some on-campus in fall. I guess a large part of this is just being nervous. I feel like I've opted out of life for the past 2.5 years because I've been so busy with the girls and the youngest has had surgeries/health problems and I haven't interacted with adults in any real way. I just need to get over it, I know. It's' just easier to brave change if I feel confident.
I have a rule to never wear yoga pants outside the house. So this time of year I typically wear bermuda shorts or a skirt and a tank top or dressy t-shirt.
I have a couple of "fancy" painter's caps that I throw on if I'm having a bad hair day or if I'm rushed and can't get a shower in before we have to leave the house. I do the best I can to look pulled together but don't go too overboard getting dressed up.
As far as activities, I'm also a member of my local Moms Club board and I'm pretty active with them. I meet friends for lunch on occasion. And I go visit my inlaws once a week. Once or twice a month I try to go out at night w/ my girlfriends. Aside from that, I'm kinda a home-body but I still try to pull myself together just so that I feel better.
In the summer, I wear cotton shorts or capris and a cotton short sleeved shirts with flip flops. In the winter, I wear jeans, long sleeve cotton shirts and sneakers. I dress to be comfy.
As far as outside interests, I get together with a friend once or twice a month for a drink or dinner, I belong to a book club with one of my moms groups (meets monthly)...or I'll go to the mall or Barnes & Noble by myself.
Jeans and a tee/tank are pretty much my wardrobe. Right now I'm wearing bermudas and capris instead of jeans because it's so hot.
I always feel frumpy and ugly =(
I could have written this post myself.
I've been thinking about taking a cake decorating class at the vo-tech but it fills up so fast. So now I am thinking of taking some cooking classes and going to some scrapbook crop sessions.
When I am home all day long, I am usually in pj pants and a t-shirt but I am trying to put on makeup and do my hair at least.
I've always been very casual, and it's the same now that I'm a SAHM. Capris and T-shirts all summer, jeans and T-shirts all winter, and flip-flops pretty much every day. Depending on how much time I have, my hair is either done or up in a ponytail.
But I always, always put on makeup. I don't mind wearing casual clothes, but regardless of whether I'm leaving the house, I always put on makeup. And this may sound silly, but I "get dressed" every day. I have another SAHM friend who will stay in PJs (change from her sleeping PJs to a fresh pair in the morning) and I really feel this makes it harder for her to leave the house. On a moment's notice, I can put on shoes and leave the house. That makes me feel better! Same with my DD. After breakfast, she gets changed, hair done and we're ready to do whatever we have planned (or isn't planned) for the day.
Ditto. I always put on make-up and get the babies dressed. I will wear yogo pants with tank tops and flip-flops outside of the house, though. Sometimes it's capris, shorts, etc. My wardrobe was feeling blah, though, so yesterday I went to Old Navy and stocked up. Old Navy can be hit and miss for me - yesterday was a huge hit! I got summery (non-constraining) skirts, flowy tank tops, some flip-flops, etc. Nice, light, and not too expensive. It makes me feel better and if you are feeling larger than you are comfortable with, you can buy the clothes a bit bigger and not feel like you're spending too much money on clothes you wont' wear once you lose weight.
I wear a put-together but neat wardrobe. I own a bunch of designer jeans and nice t-shirts and tanks. They have ruffles, flowers, etc on them. I sew, and I deconstruct t-shirts and make them more "feminine"......
I wear skirts and dresses, but NEVER shorts. I haven't worn shorts since middle school. They're just not flattering on me.
I always get dressed and put on makeup and that's NOT an easy task with 3 kids 4 and under! LOL! I just feel ready to tackle the day like that. I am out and about with the kids each day, so I don't want to be sloppy......
These days I live in a nursing tank top and pajama pants.
But I tend to go out daily just to get some fresh air and move around. I'll normally change into jeans and a nice top.
As for outside interests, I workout (step and zumba classes), cater on the side and teach cooking classes. I also organize a large culinary group and wine group so that takes up some of my time as well. If I'm not doing those things, I'm hosting parties and dinners at our place, which is usually a weekly thing.
I try and dress in something other than sweats and a tshirt, but that's my wardrobe probably half the week. Now that it's warmer I've been breaking out the sundresses.
DH and I both try to carve out me-time. He has a hobby where he goes to practice once a week, so I get a night a week to go out and do something. I usually either go to my knitting circle or choir practice, or I might go see a movie, try and meet up with someone, or just go shopping on my own.
I completely understand
It took me close to 2 years as a SAHM to really get the hang of it and start feeling like myself again! Seriously!
What helps a ton is being in a moms group. I'm in Mothers and More (national w/ local chapters) and once a week that gets me out of the house sans kids in the evening. Which is huge! I do book club w/ them once a month, so that's one hobby. We also have guest speakers at our general meetings who talk about topics of interest (last night was a PT/trainer/nutritionist) and it's great to go learn about things every month, get out of the house, and hang out w/ friends. Then we also have mom's night in and out, which is fun and relaxing too. Plus, through the group, I am a board member and it's been huge getting to have responsibilities outside my family. Not that my family responsibilities aren't enough
But it feels different and good to be counted on outside of that as well. Seriously, just getting out of the house one evening a week makes a huge difference in my mood!
As far as other hobbies, I've considered taking a photography class because I love photography. I just haven't done it yet! I'm also considering going back to school for a PTA degree.. I have a graduate degree in teaching but I don't think I'll ever go back to that. Nutrition and exercise science has always been a passion of mine so whether I eventually work in that field or not, I'd like to take some classes just because
Another thing I think makes a big difference in the way you feel, and something I really should do!, is working out. I keep telling myself I need to join a gym and go! Not only do you feel better about yourself when you work out, you can also drop the kids off at the gym daycare and get a little break
A lot of my friends do this and they say it really helps w/ feeling like yourself again. You have to make time for yourself! As a SAHM, I think we often put everyone else in the family first and we forget about ourselves...
As far a clothes, I always dress nice: nice jeans, cute top, heels if I'm feeling adventurous
Mostly cute sandals but always heels when I go out in the evenings or on date-night w/ DH (another weekly thing that I think is so important!). I often wear dresses or skirts.. anything I feel good in. Sure, some days I'm at home and could wear yoga pants all day, but I won't feel as productive or get stuff done if I feel like we're having a pajama day! 
So I dress the part, do my hair, a little makeup, and I feel more like myself.
Also, I make sure to get out of the house at least once a day, every single day! Otherwise, I go stir-crazy and start feeling really down. It's important to interact w/ others, and friends as often as possible (most of mine are in my mom's group w/ me so that helps
Phew this was long! LOL. But hopefully it helps a little 
No one tells you how hard it is being a SAHM! Not only mentally, physically, emotionally...
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Well, both my kids are spitters and so up until baby 2 stops, I'm basically living in t-shirts and shorts. If I go out, I have a few nicer t-shirts, capris from Old Navy, but for the most part I don't want to wear my nicer things because they'll be covered in spit up.
It's hard to really get involved with things when your LO is young, especially if you don't have a lot of help or $. I've found, getting out of the house everyday is a must for me. We have lots of playdates w/friends and family. we joined a music class, and have memberships to the local museum and zoo. As for me, I've kind of put my own needs on hold for a bit. Since I EBF and DD won't take the bottle right now, it's hard for me to leave them longer then 3 hours, so for now, it's just me and the girls. We go on lots of walks and I intend to join the local gym in the fall.
It's funny when I read the responses, because I honestly believe that it's so different for everyone. Having another child made things that much more difficult, not impossible, but more difficult. When I think of Harriet and the fact she is balancing all that with 3, I tip my hat!
Now that it is hot, I live in sundresses and skirts with a tank or tee. I need to lose some weight so they help camouflage a little (although I saw a picture of me the other day in a tee shirt dress and I look like I'm wearing a moomoo- eek!). I try to do my make-up every day (nothing heavy, just powder, bronser and some mascara) to make me feel more put together.
As for outside interests, I am in the same boat. I really need to find something! For the first 18 months of being a SAHM I was in grad school so I had something else to do and a way to interact with other adults. Now I'm looking for something that doesn't cost much but will get me the adult interaction I'm craving.
I wear bermuda shorts and shirts/tanks. I have "play clothes" that I wear when I am going to be cleaning or doing yard work and nicer clothes that I wear on days I am going out.
For outside interests I am in a book club. I signed up for cake decorating classes. I also joined a MOMs group and just started a board position last month. I also work out everyday (usually walk/run with LO in her stroller).
Hope that helps!
Eleanor 9.30.13
I dress fashion-casual. Alot of my clothes I get from New York & Co, if that helps at all. I'll wear a nice fashionable cotton based top with long shorts/capris/regular length shorts during the week. During the weekends if DH and I go out, I'll dress my attire up more.
Yes, how you dress does alot for your mood!
My MOPS meetings and my other mom's group are great socializers for me. To answer your question though, I like to give myself fancy foot spa treatments at home (sugar scrub or salt soak/foot spa heated, bubbly, vibrating machine, ending with Bath & Body Work's Tru Blue Spa "Lay it on Thick" lotion........ahhhhhhh, so relaxing. I also go out to the stores while DS is with DH sometimes---and that helps me to feel more like "myself" too.
If I KNOW I'll be home all day I stay in a nursing tank and confy pants. But I usually feel horrid.
At home I'm in bermudas and a tank or tee, or else I have one shirtdress from Target that's easy to nurse in.
Out, tees and skirts- I am hard to fit on top right now, so I don't have a lot of trendy shirts.
I try to get some jewelry on and mascara so I feel pretty. Stretchy bracelets are my friend right now.