I"m probably going to get a lot of flames for this....

Goldie_lv

but I want your honest opinion...

My sister is having her first DC in August and I already have two.  Back history is that she's much older then me and we've never had a great relationship.  So instead of selling much of my baby stuff (which I would honestly rather have done since we could use the money), I gave a lot of it to her.  And I mean maternity clothes, baby clothes, bouncy seats, bathtub, swing, etc etc....Now comes baby shower time....I know this sounds awful, but do I have to buy her a present too?  I had kind of been thinking that I would go and cook her some meals that could be frozen until after the baby comes.  But our Mother (who butts into everything) insists I need to get her a gift.  Yes, she did buy gifts, and still buys gifts for my boys...which makes me feel worse...but they ARE (or were up to this point) the only grandchildren in our family and both of my sisters seem to go overboard like that.  Does that mean I have to too?  For my 2nd son's birthday this year I insisted no toys, just clothes if they really wanted to get something.  Otherwise who knows what they would have done!  But I'm getting off track.......So I've already given her all of this stuff, is it still required to buy gifts???  Help anyone?

EastCoastBride

If I were going to the shower, I'd get a small outfit.  There is no saying you ahve to spend a specific amount of money.  You can pick up an outfit from Target for like $15, if even that much.

myself1nme

I know how tough things can be!  I was laid off the majority of my pregnancy, and have only been able to find a temporary job.  I would suggest giving her some sort of certificate for the meals you are planning on making and freezing for her.  If I were you I would make it look like a little restaurant menue with a cutsey title either having something to do with the baby, parenthood, or the baby's name.  Then list in the menue the different items you plan on making and freezing.  That way it still shows that you put some thought into it instead of just saying you are going to make her some meals. GL

mhazel1204

EastCoastBride:

If I were going to the shower, I'd get a small outfit.  There is no saying you ahve to spend a specific amount of money.  You can pick up an outfit from Target for like $15, if even that much.

Exactly!

hopefulmom

My honest opinion?  Yes, you need to get her a gift if you plan to attend the shower.  If you are "hosting" the shower then no...although I've hosted plenty of showers and still given a small gift ($25 or so).  If she has a registry...pick something from it.  If you are broke and can't spring for $25 maybe make her a "coupon book"...with things you will do for her (babysitting, making dinner, cleaning her kitchen/bathroom, running errands for her, etc).

puterbaby

I would get her a gift regardles of all the stuff you've given her.  It's the right thing to do.  Plus, the gift is for the baby, not your sister.

honeybee111

I'm kind of in a similar situation - my brother and SIL are expecting their first child and I've given SIL all my maternity clothes and we are planning to give them all our infant gear(carseat, stroller, bouncer, etc.)  I still plan to get her something for her shower, though. 

Kat_Bride

I personally think giving her all that baby stuff is a huge gift, so I don't think you need to do a separate gift.

mr&mrswelch

I don't think you ever have to buy someone something. I think making the meals is a nice gesture, if there is some way you could make a certificate or a card or something letting her know that's what you're doing--that should be sufficient.

barnwife

No flames here. FWIW, my oldest sister has 3 kids and they aren't planning anymore. So they have given us a ton of stuff. I told her that she didn't need to get me anything else for my shower. She chose to get me a gift anyway.

No, I don't think you have to get a gift. I do like the idea of cooking some meals for her. (I'd love it if someone would do that for me!)

TAMLVSCARL

I think you should still get her a gift. It can be a lil something--doesn't have to be expensive.

Akilah C

I would get her gift simply because she is indeed your sister. It's very nice of you to give her baby stuff!

spunkyprincessmande

I would say you definitely have to give her a gift.  You gave her a lot of things and that was really nice of you, but it didn't cost you anything to give her those things.

Also, to me, bringing meals is a given.  Growing up when one of my mom's friends or someone from church had a baby we always brought a meal.  That's what they most need at that time so while it's a nice gesture, I would never consider it a gift, especially for family.

adhdfashion

Its for the baby and it can be a small. I think the bigger thing is, you need to work it out with your sister. Or just let go of these hard feelings. It no way to live. It sounds like its really putting weight on your soul.

K.a.T.e

Bring a small token to the baby shower.

honkytonk_kid

myself1nme:

I know how tough things can be!  I was laid off the majority of my pregnancy, and have only been able to find a temporary job.  I would suggest giving her some sort of certificate for the meals you are planning on making and freezing for her.  If I were you I would make it look like a little restaurant menue with a cutsey title either having something to do with the baby, parenthood, or the baby's name.  Then list in the menue the different items you plan on making and freezing.  That way it still shows that you put some thought into it instead of just saying you are going to make her some meals. GL

 

I did this for a good friend of mine when his wife had a baby- they LOVED it! But, it actually ended up being more expensive than just buying a gift would have been.

Yes, I think you do need to give her something, even something small.

TiffanyTheMom

I had some friends who gave me frozen meals or brought over freshly made meals (one was tortilla soup.... MMMMM) and tat was the most perfect gift that I never even thought of. Personally, I'd offer to give her meals on really pretty little coupons. Then you're not really 'giving' her a gift, but you really are- probably more useful a gift than anything else will be.

cdep1

I'm a little late to this party but wanted to comment. I'm on the receiving end of all of the baby stuff and I'm really mad that my sister thinks she needs to give me a gift. I don't understand all of the people on here who have not been in this situation who think that you must definitely give a gift. 

It DID cost you money to give your sister all of those things, and if she is a normal, gracious human being, she should be grateful that you saved all of your things for her. I know I am. I'm overwhelmed by my sister's generosity. 

I, personally, think my sister's gift of all of her things is HUGE and much bigger than anything token that you can get her. It has let me afford an expensive stroller and other items I may not have been able to get away with had she not given me all of the things that she will be. 

A gift does not have to be new to be a gift. Maybe you should talk to your sister about it?

RobinSparkles214

You should buy her a gift. She is your sister. You don't need to break the bank....but come on...

Tsurrel

i think making her family meals for after the baby is born would be an amazing gift! Maybe you should make her like a coupon for each meal your going to make her and get a bouquet of flowers from the grocery store. something that lets her know she's important to you but you cant spend a ton.