Interesting Family

Lunarmyst

So me and my husband got pregnant a while ago. Just a little background my husband is planning on being my wife after the baby is born. She (he not quite on hormones) has had problems with her gender since she was young. Well honestly I was wondering if anyone had any suggestion on what we should do when it comes to holidays and what our child should call their second mom... We don;t have a child yet but her due date is approaching faster than I can even keep track (already on Oct. 9th). 

The other thing I was wondering if there are any trans women or men on the forums if anyone has a suggestion on how to tell my father that my husband is going to be my wife cause along with the due date coming up so is the time when if I don't tell my dad he is going to learn it one way or another.  I really want to support my wife and I love her very much just looking for advise on how to deal with other people's issue with the relationship.

norika33

Congrats on the pending baby!!

I would first reach out to any local LGBT organization that might have more local resources or other trans folks who have gone through what you're going through- its always nice to have support. I'm not sure if there's a community center where you live, but I bet if you call they can point you in the right direction. I work at our LGBT center in Albany, and we have a trans partners group that meets monthly and many of them have children or are going through the transition stages right now.

 

2brides

Check out the GLBT boards on BabyCenter. I believe there are some trans families on those boards.  Good luck!!!

Mrs._F

Welcome! I would definitely look into the resources suggested above, as I don't think any of the regular posters here are trans (anyone?  Bueler?), so you may not get any replies with advice backed up by first hand experience.

I would suggest telling your dad (and other family I presume?) sooner rather than later to give them time to adjust.  I think almost everyone on this board can attest to the power of time when it comes to our loved ones adjusting to our coming out.  So many lgbt people have stories of getting negative reactions from loved ones upon first coming out, but those stories often have happy endings of their friends/family coming around with time.

I think it's important to emphasize that your wife is not becoming someone else - but fully realizing who she has always been. 

As for other people's "issues" with your relationship, that's part of what we all face as lgbt people, and it can be hard at times.  I always think it's best when dealing with those who don't understand to try to be the bigger person, and to never act like there's anything wrong, or anything to be ashamed of (because there isn't!).  This is your family and those around you need to accept the three of you as you are.

As for what your child will call you both - I think a lot of the mommies here are just Mommy, Mama, etc. I've also heard of moms being called Baba, or a word in another language for "mother."  Though, kids have a way of deciding on their own what to call you, too

Best of luck and feel free to join in on any threads here!

Lunarmyst

Thanks for that informations me and my wife are actually already going to a trans group but I seem to be in a minority here in that I am the only spouse that seems to go and most the women seem to have husbands not wives.  Maybe I will try and see if there are more groups than I am aware of but more and more it just feels like our relationship is just too much of an oddity to get any real good advice.

Lunarmyst

Thanks for the replay and I have told most my close family already my mom and my sister have knowns since before my wedding and all of her family knows about the transition as of a month or two ago so the only real close family member (not including my aunts and uncles I never see) to tell is my father.  The plan as of now is to tell him when I go see them in July so we are giving him time to take in the information I just wanted to make sure to do it in person (I figure that is the least I owe him for him being the last to know) As for my wife becoming someone else I know she is still the same person she has always been its just the easiest way for me to describe it cause in my mind I fell in love with the person not their parts. Honestly cause of where I live its just hard cause the trans community here is at odds with the GLB community and was looking for a place to voice my questions to both given that we kinda fit into both sides. Thanks again for the invite to join the threads I appreciate it alot.

Mrs._F

Lunarmyst:

As for my wife becoming someone else I know she is still the same person she has always been its just the easiest way for me to describe it cause in my mind I fell in love with the person not their parts. Honestly cause of where I live its just hard cause the trans community here is at odds with the GLB community and was looking for a place to voice my questions to both given that we kinda fit into both sides. Thanks again for the invite to join the threads I appreciate it alot.

Oh, I didn't mean to sound like I was telling you "She's not becoming someone else..." - I meant that as a suggestion when telling your dad Sorry for the mix-up!

And I'm really sorry to hear that GLB and T are separate in your area - I think it's so sad that some members of our community don't see that we are all on the same "team" so to speak.  Best of luck with your dad, and congrats on your baby-to-be!

Mrs._F

Lunarmyst:

As for my wife becoming someone else I know she is still the same person she has always been its just the easiest way for me to describe it cause in my mind I fell in love with the person not their parts. Honestly cause of where I live its just hard cause the trans community here is at odds with the GLB community and was looking for a place to voice my questions to both given that we kinda fit into both sides. Thanks again for the invite to join the threads I appreciate it alot.

Oh, I didn't mean to sound like I was telling you "She's not becoming someone else..." - I meant that as a suggestion when telling your dad Sorry for the mix-up!

And I'm really sorry to hear that GLB and T are separate in your area - I think it's so sad that some members of our community don't see that we are all on the same "team" so to speak.  Best of luck with your dad, and congrats on your baby-to-be!