Blended Families

Oh BM, really?

She just texted my SO, and told him that she will be starting potty training next Monday. We're picking her up on Friday to go to Disney for 3 days. BM has known this for at least a month. Sigh...
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Re: Oh BM, really?

  • So what's the issue? if she's just starting w potty training, she'll be in pull ups, right? Just pack diapers.  Unless I'm missing something?
  • 3 days from Friday is Monday...so what is the issue?
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  • imagemom2one:
    3 days from Friday is Monday...so what is the issue?

    The Friday after she starts potty training.

    We're trying to keep things consistent, so she'll be in Pull-Ups for the whole trip.  My biggest worry is the drive up and the drive back, since it's a 3.5 drive. I'm just imagining having to stop every half hour for a potty break.

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  • I get it.

    You don't want to be unsupportive of her potty training.  Just putting her in pull ups will confuse her about her potty training goals.

    Have you asked BM if it can wait until the next Monday and start as soon as you get back?

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • I still don't see an issue.  If she just started then it won't really confuse the child.  It took a long time for my kids to fully become potty trained.  You're going on vacation, it will not hurt her to be in diapers.  

    And pull-ups are diapers, so its no biggie to be in the car with them.  I guess I'm still not seeing an issue... 

  • whoops double post
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
  • If she is like my son she will be fully potty trained by then. If not, stop frequently for bathroom breaks and all will be fine. SO not worth worrying about or insulting her mom about. Sheesh.
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
  • imageJ&A2008:

    I get it.

    You don't want to be unsupportive of her potty training.  Just putting her in pull ups will confuse her about her potty training goals.

    Have you asked BM if it can wait until the next Monday and start as soon as you get back?

    Exactly. We don't want to confuse her.

    Also, Pull-Ups are not just like diapers, they're designed to be thinner so you feel wet. If we leave her sitting in one, there's a good chance we'll be scrubbing pee-pee out of the car seat. 

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  • If you're really worried about leaks, get the GoodNites pull ups for the trip.
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
  • imagemom2one:
    If you're really worried about leaks, get the GoodNites pull ups for the trip.

    I agree.  Again, I have three children.  Two have been potty trained.  Three days is not enough time to cause confusion.

    Hope you have fun on your trip.  

  • imagenormajeane6126:
    imageJ&A2008:

    I get it.

    You don't want to be unsupportive of her potty training.  Just putting her in pull ups will confuse her about her potty training goals.

    Have you asked BM if it can wait until the next Monday and start as soon as you get back?

    Exactly. We don't want to confuse her.

    Also, Pull-Ups are not just like diapers, they're designed to be thinner so you feel wet. If we leave her sitting in one, there's a good chance we'll be scrubbing pee-pee out of the car seat. 

    seriously 3 days is not enough to confuse her. I think you're makng a bigger issue out of this than need be TBH.

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  • Ugh, not all kids use pull-ups.  They are like diapers which is why many many people do not use them, the kid sees them as pull-ups and goes in them like a diaper.  I put DS in underwear and he did not have accidents after about a week and barely any accidents after day 3.  If I put him in pull-ups I can guarantee that would have taken longer.  And if BM only uses underwear that would confuse her and give her an option to not go on the potty.  I personally disagree that you cannot send mixed messages to a kid after only 3 days because if she goes 3 days being told to only use the potty and then a week in pull-ups she might refuse to go back to the potty, and I have known kids that have done great at first and the minute a parent gives in the kid refuses to continue...not saying all kids but it is a real possibility.

    That said, do you know how she is PTing?  Is she using Pull-ups or only underwear?  Do you have a travel potty like the Popette that can stay in the car and the stroller?  Not saying that I would potty train the week of Disney but just asking?  Have you told BM that you are going away and it will be impossible for you to fully concentrate on continuing the PTing and that you do not want to sabatoge (sp) it and if she would please wait one week?  I will say though that if you knew you had the trip coming up it was really bad timing for you to be making a big deal that you did not know what she was doing with PTing a 2.5yo...she obviously was not doing anything but your pushing got you an answer.  I do not think this woman is going to win either way.

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • imageLittlejen22:
    I do not think this woman is going to win either way.

    Exactly.

    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
  • pick your battles.  Have a great trip.
  • I think most of these replies are absurd.  A trip with a toddler is difficult enough, let alone one with a potty training toddler.

    I'd also like to do a PSA: Not every one potty trains the same way.

    Some don't use pull ups at all, as they really are counterproductive if your goal is to get your child using the potty all the time.  Otherwise, potty training takes much longer.

    I'm going to reiterate what I said in my first post; hopefully you and BM can  work this out together and she's more interested in her daughter's well being and PTing progress than in trying to ruin your trip.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • imageJ&A2008:

    I think most of these replies are absurd.  A trip with a toddler is difficult enough, let alone one with a potty training toddler.

    I'd also like to do a PSA: Not every one potty trains the same way.

    Some don't use pull ups at all, as they really are counterproductive if your goal is to get your child using the potty all the time.  Otherwise, potty training takes much longer.

    I'm going to reiterate what I said in my first post; hopefully you and BM can  work this out together and she's more interested in her daughter's well being and PTing progress than in trying to ruin your trip.

    Exactly my point and worded much better than I did. 

    Although I am going to reiterate my comment and say that she needs to pick her battles and I hope that BM waits the week but I think that she created an issue for herself and her SD by pushing this issue with BM...why make a big stink about needing to know about PTing when you are not ready to PT?  That of course does not resolve the problem but needs to be thought about in the future.

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • I think there is a little confusion going on here. The only one pushing for PTing next week is BM. She made a comment about our trip as soon as we told her, basically going, "Well, we're starting potty training around then. Good luck!"

    Personally, I don't think Gabs is ready for PT, but that's just based off of the couple days we've had her in the past month.  

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    Baby Surprise- August 2011
  • imageJ&A2008:

    I think most of these replies are absurd.  A trip with a toddler is difficult enough, let alone one with a potty training toddler.

    I'd also like to do a PSA: Not every one potty trains the same way.

    Some don't use pull ups at all, as they really are counterproductive if your goal is to get your child using the potty all the time.  Otherwise, potty training takes much longer.

    I'm going to reiterate what I said in my first post; hopefully you and BM can  work this out together and she's more interested in her daughter's well being and PTing progress than in trying to ruin your trip.

     

    I agree with J&A.  I also see nothing good happening in trying to PT an under 2 year old who will be at DISNEY.  Yes, an under 2 yo will have the awareness to stop having fun and say she has to go to the bathroom whn PT began very recently <insert sarcasm>.  I think it is just accidents waiting to happen.

    Hopefully BM will work with you and realize that her waiting 1 week won't hurt anything.

     

    But...and this is one reason I hate parenting by text....this is a great opportunity to call her and explain the situation.  Maybe she just didn't put 2 and 2 together and will realize your point if you just have a conversation.

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  • She isn't even TWO yet? Yea.. I wouldn't worry about it, if you guys have a good relationship w. BM then try to have her wait a week. If she doesn't want to, then honestly I would just put her back in diapers for the trip. She is still on the young end for even starting potty training. 

    My DD was 2 1/2 when we went to Australia for 2 weeks... and honestly I probably set her potty training progress waaay back since she was back in diapers/pullups for a lot of that trip, but it just wasn't worth the headache, I wanted to enjoy my vacation.  

  • imageodear:
    imageJ&A2008:

    I think most of these replies are absurd.  A trip with a toddler is difficult enough, let alone one with a potty training toddler.

    I'd also like to do a PSA: Not every one potty trains the same way.

    Some don't use pull ups at all, as they really are counterproductive if your goal is to get your child using the potty all the time.  Otherwise, potty training takes much longer.

    I'm going to reiterate what I said in my first post; hopefully you and BM can  work this out together and she's more interested in her daughter's well being and PTing progress than in trying to ruin your trip.

     

    I agree with J&A.  I also see nothing good happening in trying to PT an under 2 year old who will be at DISNEY.  Yes, an under 2 yo will have the awareness to stop having fun and say she has to go to the bathroom whn PT began very recently <insert sarcasm>.  I think it is just accidents waiting to happen.

    Hopefully BM will work with you and realize that her waiting 1 week won't hurt anything.

     

    But...and this is one reason I hate parenting by text....this is a great opportunity to call her and explain the situation.  Maybe she just didn't put 2 and 2 together and will realize your point if you just have a conversation.

    Unfortunately, she's the type of person who will ignore a phone call and then text 30 seconds after saying, "You called?". 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    I never held you, but I always loved you.
    Baby Squirt- September 2009
    Baby Turtle- May 2010
    Baby Surprise- August 2011
  • imagenormajeane6126:
    imageodear:
    imageJ&A2008:

    I think most of these replies are absurd.  A trip with a toddler is difficult enough, let alone one with a potty training toddler.

    I'd also like to do a PSA: Not every one potty trains the same way.

    Some don't use pull ups at all, as they really are counterproductive if your goal is to get your child using the potty all the time.  Otherwise, potty training takes much longer.

    I'm going to reiterate what I said in my first post; hopefully you and BM can  work this out together and she's more interested in her daughter's well being and PTing progress than in trying to ruin your trip.

     

    I agree with J&A.  I also see nothing good happening in trying to PT an under 2 year old who will be at DISNEY.  Yes, an under 2 yo will have the awareness to stop having fun and say she has to go to the bathroom whn PT began very recently <insert sarcasm>.  I think it is just accidents waiting to happen.

    Hopefully BM will work with you and realize that her waiting 1 week won't hurt anything.

     

    But...and this is one reason I hate parenting by text....this is a great opportunity to call her and explain the situation.  Maybe she just didn't put 2 and 2 together and will realize your point if you just have a conversation.

    Unfortunately, she's the type of person who will ignore a phone call and then text 30 seconds after saying, "You called?". 

    And he texts back and says, "Yes, there is something I would like to discuss regarding our daughter.  It would be much easier just to speak about it.  Please call me back".

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