Going (BONKERS) vent — The Bump
Military Families

Going (BONKERS) vent

Ok so everytime I call home everyone is too busy including my father since when did he start going to soccer games? Oh wait since he treats his step children better than his bio ones, thats when. He can't even take a few minutes out of his time to talk to me. Im 50 Gazillion miles away he sees him everyday. It's not just him its everyone I barely even get emails anymore its like I have fallen from the face of the Earth. (Hubby is an exeption as we work opposite schedule's) OMG Im socially deprived and Lord knows I love to have a good chat every now and again.(more like at least once a day) I really really really hate deployments!

 



Re: Going (BONKERS) vent

  • I'm sorry you're going through this.  I just wanted to say I know how you feel.  My dad and I had a huge falling out when he refused to help my younger sister pay for college because his step sons wanted to go to football camp.  It's annoying, I feel your pain.

    PM me if you'd like to talk more. 

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  • imageTakaya:

    Ok so everytime I call home everyone is too busy including my father since when did he start going to soccer games? Oh wait since he treats his step children better than his bio ones, thats when. He can't even take a few minutes out of his time to talk to me. Im 50 Gazillion miles away he sees him everyday. It's not just him its everyone I barely even get emails anymore its like I have fallen from the face of the Earth. (Hubby is an exeption as we work opposite schedule's) OMG Im socially deprived and Lord knows I love to have a good chat every now and again.(more like at least once a day) I really really really hate deployments!

     

    This really stuck out to me.  Why shouldn't he treat his step children well?  Is it written somewhere that you should be placed on a throne while his step children are thrown in the gutter?  He married someone with kids.  He SHOULD treat them as well as he would treat you, IMO.  You sound like an immature, spoiled brat right now, IMO who is jealous that daddy is showing someone else a little attention. 

    People have lives.  Just because your life is put on hold during this deployment doesn't mean anyone else's life should be.  You need to suck it up and make friends where you are at to fulfill your need for social interaction if it is that important to you.  I'm sure that no one is intentionally ignoring you.  They are busy, plain and simple.  Everything cannot be done on YOUR schedule.  If you want to talk to them so badly, then figure out what will work for them.  They can't just drop what they are doing because you call.

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  • imageLissa832:
     

    This really stuck out to me.  Why shouldn't he treat his step children well?  Is it written somewhere that you should be placed on a throne while his step children are thrown in the gutter?  He married someone with kids.  He SHOULD treat them as well as he would treat you, IMO.  You sound like an immature, spoiled brat right now, IMO who is jealous that daddy is showing someone else a little attention. 

    People have lives.  Just because your life is put on hold during this deployment doesn't mean anyone else's life should be.  You need to suck it up and make friends where you are at to fulfill your need for social interaction if it is that important to you.  I'm sure that no one is intentionally ignoring you.  They are busy, plain and simple.  Everything cannot be done on YOUR schedule.  If you want to talk to them so badly, then figure out what will work for them.  They can't just drop what they are doing because you call.

    Really?  You blast the OP because she misses her family and is frustrated because her own father can't be bothered to talk with her for a few minutes on the phone?

    Nowhere in her post did she say that her father shouldn't treat his step children well--she expressed that she is hurt that he is treating them *better* than he treated and treats her.  Please show us where she said that she needed to be "placed on a throne while his step children are thrown into the gutter".  I would be hurt too if dad treated & cared for someone else's children better than he treated and cared for his very own.

    What if, heaven forbid, you and your DH divorced and he remarried a woman with children. What if he acted as a better father to those children than he did/does to your son.  How would you feel about that?  What if, when your son called, he could not take time to talk with him because he was out doing fun things with his step children. . . . just a different perspective on the same situation.

    To the OP: I'm sorry that you aren't receiving the love and support that you wish that you were from your family.  It is difficult when your DH is deployed (see my ETA) and you live far away.  I hope that other family members and your friends are there for you!

    ETA--I just realized that YOU are deployed right now.  Sorry, I try not to make that mistake, but sometimes I do.  Wow, even MORE hurtful that your father can't take a few minutes to talk with you when you call. . . and well, yah, seeing as you are calling from the other side of the world, one would think that he would be a bit more inclined to want to talk with you.  I do hope that you've got others who are there for you.  I hope that the rest of your time over there goes quickly and that you are home with your DH very soon!

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  • Thank you Smudges, as I did not ask to be put on a throne. My sister lives with my dad. Our stepbrother has a new Tempurpedic bed and he is 8 years old. My sister is still on the same old raggedy bed. He never went to any of our soccer games and all of a sudden he goes to every single soccer game of our brother. Yes I am a little upset about this why shouldn't I be? I never said that he shouldn't be treated right. 

    And Lissa have you ever been deployed? You try making friends with everyone in a pissed off mood just because they are here and not with thier families, Oh and you cant have guy friends either, Almost all of them want to get in your pants. Yup even the married ones!  As a female if you are even seen walking with the opposite sex the rumors spread like wildfire. My point is it's practically impossible to make good friends out here.



  • imageTakaya:

    Thank you Smudges, as I did not ask to be put on a throne. My sister lives with my dad. Our stepbrother has a new Tempurpedic bed and he is 8 years old. My sister is still on the same old raggedy bed. He never went to any of our soccer games and all of a sudden he goes to every single soccer game of our brother. Yes I am a little upset about this why shouldn't I be? I never said that he shouldn't be treated right. 

    And Lissa have you ever been deployed? You try making friends with everyone in a pissed off mood just because they are here and not with thier families, Oh and you cant have guy friends either, Almost all of them want to get in your pants. Yup even the married ones!  As a female if you are even seen walking with the opposite sex the rumors spread like wildfire. My point is it's practically impossible to make good friends out here.

    Girl, if the rumors aren't about you being with the guys, they are about you hooking up with girls. 

    I'm sorry everyone back home are being so crappy.  That's not cool at all.  Being far away dealing with a deployment is hard enough when you do have support at home.  This makes it even worse.  I wish there was something we could do for you.  You can always hang out here or on MN.  I know it doesn't fix things, but we are pretty friggin fun most of the time. 

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  • LOL Im so not a Lesbian or Bi.



  • imageTakaya:

    Thank you Smudges, as I did not ask to be put on a throne. My sister lives with my dad. Our stepbrother has a new Tempurpedic bed and he is 8 years old. My sister is still on the same old raggedy bed. He never went to any of our soccer games and all of a sudden he goes to every single soccer game of our brother. Yes I am a little upset about this why shouldn't I be? I never said that he shouldn't be treated right. 

    And Lissa have you ever been deployed? You try making friends with everyone in a pissed off mood just because they are here and not with thier families, Oh and you cant have guy friends either, Almost all of them want to get in your pants. Yup even the married ones!  As a female if you are even seen walking with the opposite sex the rumors spread like wildfire. My point is it's practically impossible to make good friends out here.

    I apologize.  I too made the mistake and assumed that your DH was the one that was deployed in which case, I would stand by my comments.  When I read it, I took it as your DH was deployed, and you were exaggerating how far you were from friends and family.  I didn't realize that it was the other way around.  In that case, I too agree that your family should make the time to talk to you as it has to be on your schedule.  I don't have step children, but your comment rubbed me the wrong way when I read it and it aggravated me. 

    Again, I apologize for my previous post.  You don't see many deployed women posting on this board (or I haven't seen many), and it is easy to make the assumption that the spouse is the one deployed.  I have nothing but respect for our service members, and I think it is awful that no one seems to be taking a few minutes of their time to at least have a little chat.  I know sometimes they can be few and far between, and it is awful that they aren't willing to at least make a bit of an effort.

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  • It's ok when I wrote it I was tired and upset. I reread it and it is hard for me to understand what I was even trying to say. So really its my fault for not writing the post in a more understandable way. Or I could have waited until I had calmed down to write it. =)

     



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