Attachment Parenting

where do I fit in? (long)

I am new to this site and I really like it. Great feedback. I have a few questions and looking for some feedback.

First let me tell you a little about myself. I am a stay at home mom of a beautiful 4 1/2 month old little girl. I breastfeed and will do so exclusivey till she's 6 months then start soilds. I have a wonderful husband who is very supportive.

Now I don't know if I am considered an AP or not. I do co-sleep with our daughter. I love it but my husband has a few issues with it. He no longer sleeps in bed because she is in bed. He is a bigger man and I get concerned that we will roll too much with him in bed. Also he is too sound of a sleeper. He does not hear her cry. For the most part this isn't an issue but he does miss sleeping with me and some nights I also miss sleeping with him. For the past couple of nights he has been trying to have sex and it isn't working because she wakes up if I am not beside her in bed.  I don't know what to do about this issue at all!!

My other things about not knowing where I fit in.... I use a swing for naps all the time. It is the only way she sleeps without me beside her, and I need to get some things done at home. I also use a binky.(only to help her drift to sleep when she needs it) I use a stroller because we sometimes walk for 2 hours and my back will hurt for a week from my snugli if I wear it the whole time. I am in the process of getting a sling to see if it works better.

My husband and I do not agree with the CIO meathod. I don't believe in yeling at kids for disapline, I'm going to make her food when she starts sollids. She is number on to both of us and comes before our own needs all the time.

I guess I'm just looking for feedback and introduce myself on here. Thanks for any... oh and I don't get all the abriviations for things either Big Smile

and how do you get the nice little pictures?



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Re: where do I fit in? (long)

  • I'll start off by saying hi and welcome to the site! It can be a great resource and it's nice to talk to other moms that are going through what you are going through.

    As far as where you belong, you'll find that most boards are very welcoming and there are no rules that say you can only post on 1 at a time.

    For example I believe in the AP principles and like learning more about AP from other parents who are doing it, so I post on AP. But I also have a daughter who is 0-3 months old so I sometimes post there.

    I'd also like to add that AP isn't all or nothing. We aren't going to jump all over you for not following it to a T. It's important to find balance and figure out what works best for your family. =)

    DD1 - 2010 TTC v2.0
  • Hello!

    I agree with PP, AP isn't all or nothing. I consider myself pretty AP, but there are a lot of things I don't plan on doing b/c I don't want to.

    I plan on EBF. I will introduce solids around 6 months if she seems interested, but want to try an altered BLW approach. I plan on using an alternative vaccine schedule.  I'm not cloth diapering. I believe babies cry for a reason and therefore need us to help meet their needs. I don't believe babies can be spoiled or are manipulative. I can't wait to wear my baby, and own a moby and a RS. I think swings, play mats, stationary entertainers, bumbos etc all have a time and place and plan on using them accordingly. I believe in co-sleeping, but don't plan on bedsharing; however many cultures all over the world bed share and have been for thousands of years.

    So, just to show you we are different here but have the same goal!

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  • I agree with pp! I've read on here that it's not about being AP by following rules, but AP is more about being attentive to what your baby needs.. for some that is babywearing (but not all babies want to be worn all the time), etc. I also co-sleep (room-share), but not bed-share (unless DH is up and  then sometimes I'll bring him to bed with me). We have a small bed and DH is a heavy sleeper, too, so full-time bedsharing is not something I am comfortable with! DS always wanted to be held for naps at first, so that is what I did... I enjoyed it, even if the house was still a mess! Now that it is hot, he's much more likely to sleep in his crib for naps. We just take it day by day and let LO lead the way! He's pretty good at teaching me to be a parent!

    This board is great! The girls are friendly and very helpful, no matter what end of the AP spectrum you consider yourself!

    ETA: I think you will enjoy a sling or wrap or other soft structured carrier more than the snugli for lengthy baby-wearing! There are alot of options that will be more comfortable for long walks. Also, I don't think strollers are anti-AP, it's just easier for me to put stuff in the stroller and wear LO so I can talk to him about things that we see, etc.

  • imageprincessjenney:

    I'd also like to add that AP isn't all or nothing. We aren't going to jump all over you for not following it to a T. It's important to find balance and figure out what works best for your family. =)


    And while a lot of APers on this board cloth diaper and/or EC they are not one of the 8 principles of AP.  

  • As moracco jade would say: put that baby in the swing and give your husband some lovin.

    AP is about balance and as a group of bfing, cosleeping, attached to baby at the hip women, you can't let baby be an excuse to neglect your marriage. Being a mama is exhausing and the only way you'll survive is if you keep a balance between yourself, your marriage and your baby. No one component is more important than the other.

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