6 weeks pregnant boyfriend leaves for basic and will be gone for almost 6 month... — The Bump
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6 weeks pregnant boyfriend leaves for basic and will be gone for almost 6 month...

I am a new member to the bump. this site is really neat!!!

 I am 6 weeks pregnant with my first child with my boyfriend who is enlisted in the U.S. Army (Reserves) He is leaving in July for basic in SC and will be gone for almost 6 months. We are both bummed he will miss a majority of the pregnancy and doctor appointments, and most of all the appointment when we find out if our little miracle is a boy or girl! but in the military life, a ton of girlfriends/wives/fiances face this ALL THE TIME and they get through it and I sure enough will as well!

I am lucky I have so many people that are here for me to keep me sane while daddy will be gone!

I am so excited to become a mommy! and he is just as excited to be a daddy!

Re: 6 weeks pregnant boyfriend leaves for basic and will be gone for almost 6 month...

  • Hello. On the bright side, it sounds like he'll be home when you really need him, for the delivery and baby's infancy. How old are you and your BF?
    Twin boys due 7/25/12
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  • imageMrsOjoButtons:
    Hello. On the bright side, it sounds like he'll be home when you really need him, for the delivery and baby's infancy. How old are you and your BF?

    Very much this. He'll get to experience the birth with you and enjoy some time with his LO :)

    Welcome :)

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  • When I get down about DH being gone for long periods I look at the bright side:  1) He's not in any "high risk" areas

             2) I'm still able to communicate with him often

             3) He's not gone the entire year

             4) I get to watch whatever I want on t.v. Stick out tongue

    Just stay positive and busy.   The time flies.  I like to spend my time when DH is gone doing what he doesn't like.  For instance, eating lots of mexican and chinese food.  he's not a fan but I love them!  

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  • I was 9 wks pregnant when DH left for a deployment and was gone for 5 months.  He got back when I was 30 wks pregnant and really that was the most important part to me that he was there in the 3rd trimester when I was so big that I really needed him around to help and of course he will now be here for the actual birth next month.   Like others said- stay positive in busy.  I wont' say time flies but it is doable. I found that trying to plan fun activities for when he got home really took up a lot of time.  Since you technically aren't military yet I would recommend getting a book explainging some things about the military lifestyle - i think this will help pass the time for you.  There are several books out there geared towards the military GF.

     

    Goodluck with your pregnancy!

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Like PP said, you'll def need him in the later part of the pregnancy than now. My husband left when I was five months pregnant, and was not there for our first childs birth. He was gone in Iraq. He also didn't meet her until she was 2 months old. So considor yourself lucky. Half of us mil wives wont have their husband there when our children are born.

    On the bright side, you have tons of things to look forward too! Counting down each week you are closer to seeing your boyfriend, planning his homecomming, talking to us on here, and just having the quality time that sometimes someone just needs! It isn't easy with your loved one being gone like that, but remember it isn't the end of the world. Life DOES still go round. Congrats on having your first baby! Having children are truly amazing!!!! Take care girl.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers pregnant image,image,image,image
  • We are all here with you!!  We all can understand what you are going through!!  I was only 4 weeks pregnant when DF left for Afghanistan.  I will not see him again until my due date, and hopefully the baby isn't early, otherwise I'll be doing the WHOLE thing on my own.  Thankfully Im from the area we live in, and my mom is only 5 houses down. 
  • DH went to basic when I was 26ish weeks pregnant.  He was due to go a week after my due date, but his recruiter worked really hard to get him moved up so he could be finished with boot before my due date, which we were really grateful for.  I couldn't imagine him leaving with a one week old!  Also we decided we would rather have him miss a few months of pregnancy than a few months of her life.  I sent him pictures of my belly and I sent him off with a few weeks worth of weekly updates from my baby book.

     That being said, he is now in A School in Pensacola and we are praying that he doesn't get classed up soon so that he will be able to take leave when she is born.  If my doc will induce me, then he will be able to be here for the birth, if she won't, then he will be able to leave 3 days after her birth, as long as he isn't in a class yet. 

    Being alone pregnant sucks, but it does have it's good points - eat whatever you want, sleep however much you want, watch all the bad TV you want :)  It gets easier as time passes, you get used to being alone and get into a routine which helps.   Just stay busy, write him letters and keep him updated.

  • Oh and I've heard of women who get the gender sealed in an envelope, and send it to the father and he opens it when he is able to make a phone call so the couple can find out together.  Now, at least with DH's navy basic, phone calls are not guaranteed and are not predictable.  DH was lucky that his division got phone calls almost every week.  But there were many divisions that hardly got any phone calls.
  • Hi!

    Basic is hard, it was one of our hardest separations. I was pregnant then too. But it sounds like he'll be back for the birth and the baby so that is good. Honestly, there is not much for him to do at your OB appointments anyway so its not much to miss, except for the big u/s of course. 

  • I am in the exact same shoes as you. We found out we were expecting one week before H shipped out for BCT. I won't lie, it's been rough without him, but I'm sure it'd be a lot worse raising a baby without him. I'd much rather him miss some of the pregnancy. We were just talking today and realized that he will still be at AIT when I find out the sex. I offered to wait and we could go to one of those pay for it yourself places together, but he siad he doesn't want to wait longer than we have to. Anyways, just try to keep your head up. It helps to have a support system. Even if you don't want to tell everyone you're pregnant just yet - tell at least one person. My sister has been really great at keeping me sane. My doc appointments are on her calendar and she calls me after every one of them because she knows DH can't.
  • imagesophiab1:
    Oh and I've heard of women who get the gender sealed in an envelope, and send it to the father and he opens it when he is able to make a phone call so the couple can find out together.  Now, at least with DH's navy basic, phone calls are not guaranteed and are not predictable.  DH was lucky that his division got phone calls almost every week.  But there were many divisions that hardly got any phone calls.

    This is a great idea! My H will be at AIT, so maybe I will bring the envelope home and read it to him on the phone that night when he is done with training.

  • I got nothing, except GO BUCKS!
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  • Yes I know, that is true.

    I am 19 will be 20 in december and he is 21.

  • Thanks Everyone! Means a lot to know I have people on here that I can talk to and know what I'm going through!
  • Later in training he will be authorized access to his cell phone on Sundays for about 20 minutes - longer if they have a candy Drill Sergeant who wants to be nice to them.

    If you send him a letter be sure to write on the envelop "Save Til You Can Call" or he will rip it open during mail call without know what he is doing... and if he starts yelling or beng a jackazz the DS will chew him up.

    Finally, be careful what you post regarding dates. You want to keep it general like the month he is headed down not the specific date. This isn't a deployment so OPSEC isn't too high, but its good practice for what you'll be allowed to post if he is ever deployed.

    Congrats on the baby, and congrats to your BF on his enlistment. Try to stay positive in your letters to him and during your phone calls. If you want to throw a pity party do it with your mom/friends or on a site like this. BCT will be some of the toughest weeks of your BF's life. He will need to stay positive and stay focused. He will need you to be strong and not fuss at him about being away.

  • I am in a similar situation- so you aren't alone!  We were going to start trying, then were told that DH will be going back to AIT soon, and most likely deploying shortly after that (long story about AIT that involves DH being enlisted for an MOS that our state NG had gotten rid of- and not realizing it until he finished AIT for that MOS). 

    The good news is that we do not have fertility problems!  The bad news is that I am now 11 weeks pregnant, and my DH is about to leave until after baby arrives.  He should be home before my maternity leave ends though, but it's been hard for me to get excited about doing it without him.  His unit gave him the option of putting off AIT until after the baby arrives, but I would rather be strong by myself during the pregnancy and have him around when it's more than just me here missing him! 

  • imageEllenHope:

    I am in a similar situation- so you aren't alone!  We were going to start trying, then were told that DH will be going back to AIT soon, and most likely deploying shortly after that (long story about AIT that involves DH being enlisted for an MOS that our state NG had gotten rid of- and not realizing it until he finished AIT for that MOS). 

    The good news is that we do not have fertility problems!  The bad news is that I am now 11 weeks pregnant, and my DH is about to leave until after baby arrives.  He should be home before my maternity leave ends though, but it's been hard for me to get excited about doing it without him.  His unit gave him the option of putting off AIT until after the baby arrives, but I would rather be strong by myself during the pregnancy and have him around when it's more than just me here missing him! 

    This is me standing up and applauding you!!! Way to wear your BG-maternity-P's. Awesome! Really... I mean it!

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