Secondary IF

I don't know how much longer I can do this

3rd IUI (clomid/ovidril) is a bust.

We have decided to take a break this month. 

But its getting harder and harder to keep my head about this whole thing. In the mood I am in now, I just want to go and pack all of my child's out grown stuff up and donate them. I mean, according to some doctors, I should have been pregnant twice over by now. 

One Beautiful Gift Delivered 11/08 One Beautiful Angel 8/10 4 Clomid/Ovidril/IUIs= Negative 2 Gonal F/Ovidril/IUIs= Negative Please Lord, I love this baby already, we are ready when You are.

Re: I don't know how much longer I can do this

  • I saw this post after responding to the one on Success after IF.  Don't give up.  If you need a break take one but this is in no way a reflection on you.  They will get you pregnant.  It is their job. 
  • imagesbride03:
    I saw this post after responding to the one on Success after IF.  Don't give up.  If you need a break take one but this is in no way a reflection on you.  They will get you pregnant.  It is their job. 

    Thank you Sbride. I know its their job, but its my body and right now I feel beat up, battered, and bruised. I just don't get it. 

    I am sure tomorrow, I will wake up with a clearer head....

    also, I appreciate your responses. Best of luck to you. 

    One Beautiful Gift Delivered 11/08 One Beautiful Angel 8/10 4 Clomid/Ovidril/IUIs= Negative 2 Gonal F/Ovidril/IUIs= Negative Please Lord, I love this baby already, we are ready when You are.
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  • Anyone on this horrible rollercoaster can relate.  Take care of yourself.
  • Hang in there sweetie! 
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    image
    Doriimage
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
  • JMayJMay member
    It's such a hard place to be in.  Be good to yourself and we'll hold good thoughts that the sun will shine brightly for you tomorrow.
    Doriimage
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

    Miracle DD born 12.2005
    TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
    ***P/SAIF Always Welcome***

    Keep it Natural, Baby!
  • *hugs* I wish I could say I know how you feel but I can't so I won't even trivialize it.  We haven't even gotten to the IUI option yet.  I can't seem to get past surgery after surgery to even reach the point where the doctor thinks I can get pregnant. I'm so sick of being cut open and healing from it.  I'm tired of surgeries and I know that if I'm faced with another one, I'll say no.  This one was way too hard to recover from.  I'm done with surgery.  I've now spent 6+ months on surgeries and recovery.

    I don't see a pregnancy in my future.  I don't see another child in our future.  

    I see the pregnancy announcements and I know it will never be me.  I cry myself to sleep at night because while I can have hope, deep down I just know I'll never see that second line on a test or the digital word Pregnant show up.  I'll never experience another ultrasound or a beta.  I'm slowly coming to terms with that.  But I'm getting there.

    I *did* donate DD's clothes and sold them as well.  I kept a minimal amount that I couldn't bear to part with and I sold her infant toys and gave away her crib.  I have nothing infant related of hers left except for some of my favorites of her clothes.  I couldn't handle seeing them anymore.  I couldn't even handle knowing they were in the garage.  I wanted them all gone so I could deal with my grief and move on. 

    You aren't alone in your feelings.  And it's perfectly normal to feel the way you are feeling.

    Have they discussed moving on to injects? 

  • Secondary IF for most of us I think is (was for me) a TRUE test in endurance.   it is so hard... hang in there. 
    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
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