2nd Trimester
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He still has not told his parents

I am going crazy I have told every one important to me but my sig other has not told his family.  I will be 20 weeks on Monday.  This was not a planned pregnancy and he believes his parents will be unhappy.  Well now they might be unhappy with the pregnancy but they will be very mad at us for not telling them sooner.  I just don't know what to do I hate lying to them and they should know sooner then later.  Do I tell his parents or do I wait for him to get up the nerve?  I have this horrible vision of calling them from the hospital to tell them about their new grandchild.

Re: He still has not told his parents

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    NSLNSL member
    He needs to tell them, but I think it's fair for you to give him some kind of a timeline.  You're right that the longer you wait the angrier they're going to be, especially if everyone else already knew about the pregnancy.
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    If he is not going to tell them I would. But I would ask him first. And if your inlaws are upset it is not going to matter because you still will have a precious baby to cherish either way. :) Try not to worry about what your inlaws will think-they SHOULD be happy for you.
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    Rink08Rink08 member
    He sounds like he needs to grow up. I'd give him a date and tell him that if he doesn't tell them by then that I would tell them. Unless you don't ever see them or you aren't showing yet, you wont be able to hide the belly much longer.
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    I'd do the timeline and if he doesn't tell by a certain date I would.  Yeah they might be unhappy but soo many times I've seen soon to be grandparents whine and complain and be so against the pregnancy but as soon as they saw/held the baby they totally changed their minds.
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    I did the same with my parents, I waited a while because I was hoping DH and my financial situation would change (AKA DH got a job) but it didn't. I told my parents and they were not thrilled, but I'm glad I didn't wait any longer. Holding in news like that is horrible! I'd definitely tell your DH that you NEED to tell them sooner rather than later, god forbid you start showing and still haven't told them!

     

    Their reaction is not going to change by putting it off...







     
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    To make things worse this is not the only child the family is expecting my sig others sister is pregnant and is 22 weeks along.  I have told her but my sig other does not know she knows.  She thinks her mother will be worried about or financial situation but that she will be supportive of us and the new baby.  My sig other has a daughter that his parents adore.  I have no worries that they will love the baby I just wish he would tell them so they would have time to adjust. 
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    Are you both very young?  Is his other child a child out of wedlock as well?  Maybe they didn't have a good reaction with that baby and he really doesn't want to relive it yet.  Personally, I don't think you should tell them...I think this is something he needs to man up about.  It is not your place to tell his parents behind his back.
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    I went through this same thing. I told my mom right away but my SO waited and waited and eventually they found out on their own Surprise. Let's just say they were not happy at all, but it was more that they were mad he didn't tell them and they found out through someone else. SO's family still isn't thrilled with the fact that we're having the baby (his mother demanded I have an abortion!) but the more time they have to get used to the idea, the more they're warming up to it.
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    imageRink08:
    He sounds like he needs to grow up. I'd give him a date and tell him that if he doesn't tell them by then that I would tell them. Unless you don't ever see them or you aren't showing yet, you wont be able to hide the belly much longer.

     This. My pregnancy wasn't planned and SO's mom is quite the witch with a B sometimes but he told her right away, and now 18 wks later shes ok with it. They're gonna find out sooner or later and as well as being upset about the pregnancy they'll be upset you waited so long to tell them about it. Telling them earlier also gives them time to get used to the idea. SO's mom ranted and raved about how we weren't ready but we both had jobs, we bought a house together last year, we've been in a steady relationship, we're just not married. Things have changed a bit and SO lost his job but things happen... like job losses and unplanned pregnancies, they'll have to get used to it, we're not stressing we have money saved. Who knows, SO thought my parents would be fuming as well and they've been the most excited and suportive! I would inform him it's his job to tell his parents and he needs to figure out a way to get it done by the end of the week. Period.

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    Have you asked him if he would like you to tell them?  He may actually be relieved to have the pressure off of him.  Yes, I agree he SHOULD be the one, but I'm kind of a chicken about things sometimes, too.  I would start out, "I know this isn't the best timing. . ."  They may be upset but, hey, you're adults and this baby is coming whether they get upset about it or not. 
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    Your boyfriend needs to man up and tell his parents, no matter how scared he may be of their reaction. You are already 5 months pregnant for crying out loud.
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    Tell him to man the fvck up or ditch him.  They will figure it out when you take him to court for a mandatory paternity test and child support. 
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    imageJenZuanich:
    Tell him to man the fvck up or ditch him.  They will figure it out when you take him to court for a mandatory paternity test and child support. 

    I agree.  Being scared of mommy and daddy is how a child should be not an adult. 

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    amjraamjra member

    Seriously?  This is his problem not yours.  It is not your place to tell them.  He needs to stop being scared of Mommy and Daddy and take responsibility for his own choices. 

    So what if they aren't happy that you two are not married, etc.?  40% of all children are born to unmarried women.  Seriously.  40%!!!  Sounds like your situation is more 'normal' and typical that people want to believe.  

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