2nd Trimester
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Should I switch dr.s?- advice needed

Recently I find myself dissatisfied with my doctor which is funny to me because I loved him in the beginning.  Here is a list of my concerns and what has me worried.  Are these legitimate concerns?

The first thing is that I went from week 8 to week 20 without an ultrasound and only going in once a month to hear the heartbeat.  In those appointments the doctor basically just mossied in, did the doplar, asked if I had questions, and then left.  

Then, when we had our 20wk U/S at the hospital (not with my dr. b/c he has a small private practice.  Then we were supposed to go in a few days later to follow up with him about the U/S.  Mu husband took off and everything, and when he came in, he said that he didn't have the report, like it was no big deal and almost laughed it off.   He did the doplar and left!

In the meantime he has never been telling me about things to prepare or plan for.  Has never mentioned classes or anything and I feel really in the dark and neglected.

He has also scolded me for gaining too much weight.  I have never had a weight problem- I have always weighed 120 (until now of course) and then just because in my fourth month I gained 8 instead of the 4, he told me I was "taking advantage of the pregnancy".  It was kind of humiliating.

Sorry this is so long, but I would just like to know if this is normal or if people think I am being neglected and whether or not I should switch.

What do you think?

Thanks

Re: Should I switch dr.s?- advice needed

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    I think if your not satisfied with him then you should switch.  All those things would of irritated me.  I switched with my first pregnancy because he called me fat. Good Luck!
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    First of all, it's normal to not have an u/s before 20 weeks.  It's also normal to not have a separate appointment to JUST talk about the u/s results.  Regular appointments are basically jsut the doppler and a Q&A session.  His attitude about the weight gain is a little annoying, and I probably would have been embarassed too, but it's their job to tell us if we're gaining too much/too little weight.  Also, my doc didnt start talking to me about classes or anything until after 20 weeks.
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    Well the lack of US's and how your appointments go sound pretty standard to me.  As for the doctor not having the report, he probably should have tried to get it for you since you both took the time to come in.  But he doesn't really sound all that bad, but if you are uncomfortable with the care you are going go elsewhere.  You need to be comfortable and confident with your doctor. 
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    Sounds like we have the same doctor, up to the weight part that is. All I get on that is the "evil eye".

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    I think the first part is normal. You don't need to be getting more than two ultrasounds in a healthy pregnancy, usually you only have the one at 20 weeks (if you want it) and the 8 week dating ultrasound is totally optional and not that necessary. As far as the appointments, that's actually why I went with a midwife because I knew with a doctor I'd seem him for 15 minutes and he'd send me on my way, but with a midwife they see you for 45 min each appointment, and later on in your pregnancy they come to your home and such.So unfortunately I think that's pretty normal.

    But as far as making you feel bad about your weight, and telling you you're taking advantage of your pregnancy is just rude, as long as you're eating healthy I think everyone gains differently and its what the baby needs. I don't believe in counting calories when pregnant(or in general really)...if you really don't feel comfortable with him then feel free to switch but I think the first few things are normal. Are you asking a lot of questions when you go? I make a list because things pop into my head and I'll forget. 

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    JDOJDO member

    Just about everything you described seems normal. Unless there are complications with your pregnancy, the doctor shouldn't need to spend a lot of time with you during each visit. The nurse always asks if I have any problems or concerns, then the doctor just comes in to check the heartbeat. Unless I have a question for him, that's it. And, it's not your doctors responsibility to tell you about planning/preparing/classes. I asked my doctor if he recommended any classes and he answered my question, but he never brought it up himself. The doctor's job is to check your health and the health of the baby, the rest is really up to you and your husband to figure out. I don't think your doctor sounds neglectful at all. The only thing I'd be annoyed about is coming in for an appointment and the doctor not being prepared/having the reports, but I don't think that's worth changing doctors over.

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    If you're disatisfied with your doctor, I would switch.  You may find a doctor whose personlity syncs better.  But your next doctor probably won't have much different timelines/procedures.

    A lot of women only have two u/s in their entire pregnancy - one to date (~8weeks) and anatomy scan (20weeks).  Some don't even get the dating u/s.  My doctor only asks how I'm feeling, if I have questions, and does the doppler.  We chit chat a bit about my symptoms/concerns/etc.  I don't really know what else she would do.  They've never mentioned my weight, but I'm within the guidelines.  I know women get touchy about that, but honestly, I wouldn't be more mad if my doctor didn't tell me I was gaining the wrong amount of weight.

     Nothing that he's done sounds that horrible.  But if you don't like his bedside manner, then just switch. 

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    First off, if you are ever unhappy about your doctor, you have the right to switch. I also feel you should mention it to your doctor, so they have a chance to know you are dissatisfied and how to make you happier.

    That being said, my first pregnancy I only had 1 ultrasound at 23 weeks. That is very normal, and I would be thankful that you had 2! (I wouldn't have had one yet this pregnancy if I weren't bleeding.) Some doctors are concerned that too many ultrasounds are bad for the baby, but not all feel this way. And most insurance won't cover unnecessary ultrasounds.

    My ultrasounds are also done at a hospital. I have had 6 this pregnancy. I have never had an appointment to discuss an ultrasound. If they see a problem, the radiologist will call your doc and your doc will call you. If everything is normal, you won't hear about it.

    My doc appointments are basically what you describe. Unless I come with a list of questions, or mention that I have questions, the appointment is really quick and I barely see the doc. As you get further along, most docs will start asking if you want an epidural and check your fundal height. But that is about the extent of it. 

    They gave me a packet with info about registering at the hospital at my first appointment, and the hospital mentioned the childbirth classes when I called. None of my docs have ever mentioned them and I don't expect them to.

    Finally, no doc has ever mentioned my weight in that way. I gained 9 lbs at one appointment, then none the next. Pregnancy weight gain is not an exact science. I couldn't imagine a doc scolding me unless i was consistantly gaining too much. Even then, your doc sounds rude.

    Good luck with whatever you decide!

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    Sounds like a normal doctor to me. Scolding you for your weight. Well every OB is different as i am sure you have found out just reading the posts on this board. My Doctor asks me if i have any questions and from there anything that i have questions about get answered. Maybe you should bring up the classes to him and see what he says. Your OB is not a mind reader, ask questions to find out the answers.

     

    If you really do feel uncomfortable though you should switch. But you seem like you have a normal ob.

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    You always have the right to switch doctors if you're not happy, but like most PP have said, your doc seems pretty standard.

    I saw the doc for a total of 2 minutes at my last appointment. Its really not a big deal. If you have a particular question or concern then you should ask it, but really, what do you expect from them? I'm sure the nurse or whoever did your weight and blood pressure, the doctor opened the conversation for questions, and checked the baby's heart beat... what else is it that you would like from them?

    Most healthy pregnancies only require 1 ultrasound around 20 weeks for the anatomy scan. I understand you may *want* to see your baby more often, but its really not necissary.  As far as him not having the report.. that would annoy me.. but was the purpose of the appointment really to just review the ultrasound? or was it your standard monthly checkup that happend to be a few days after your ultrasound? I'm guessing its the latter, I've never heard of having an appointment soley to discuss an ultrasound. When he does get the reports, he'll review them, and if theres a problem I'm sure he will contact you. In these cases, usually no news is good news.

    As far as your weight, he's a doctor, its his job to keep track of your weight gain and keep you informed as to if your on track or not. Maybe he could have found a nicer way to do it, but he's looking out for your health and the health of the baby.

    And as far as classes and being prepared... thats your responsability, not your doctors. Sure you can ask the doctor if they have any recomendations for local classes... but really, its up to you to figure all that out.

    whatever you decide to do, good luck, but just be aware that if you switch, you still may not find what your looking for unless you go to a midwife or doula.

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    imageBeanie_mrt:

    The majority of what you discussed is normal and I don't think anything you've listed warrants an OB switch.  Here's my 2 cents:

    1 - Many women don't have an early ultrasound, it's up to the doctor and your insurance company.  One of the reasons I chose my OB was because she did do an early US.

    2 - My Level II was also done at a hospital and the tech told me to make sure that my OB had the results before my next appointment.  So when I called the office, they hadn't received the results back but it got them moving before my appointment.

    3 - Class discussion - It's not your doctor's responsibility to ensure preparedness, it's yours.  I haven't discussed classes with my doctor, but I'm scheduled for three of them.  Take ownership of what you want. 

    4 - The weight thing.  You're supposed to gain 1 lb per week at this point, so if you're gaining too fast, then it's his job to scold you.  Rapid weight gain can be indicative of GD, so he wants you to take it easy so that you stay healthy. 

    The black and white of it sounds quite normal.  It also sounds like you need a bit more nurturing from your caregiver (which most OBs are not), could you spring for a doula?  Supplement your medical care with a Midwife? 

    I totally agree with this. I'm 18 weeks, and though I had a dating ultrasound at 8 weeks, I haven't had one since then, and will not have another until 21 weeks. When I go in, my appointments are 10 minutes or less ... pee in cup, weigh in, blood pressure check, listen for heartbeat. I was concerned about this at first, but once I researched it and spoke to friends and family, I learned that this is quite normal.

    As for the weight gain, maybe he said it the wrong way, but it's their job to be aware and even concerned about your weight. I always assumed that's the reason they weigh you every appointment. Before getting pregnant, I weighed 114-115 and I'm up to 123 now, and at my last appointment, my OB told me to watch the weight. She said not to diet or anything, but be aware of the foods that I'm ingesting now that my morning sickness has left. She said it's not difficult to develop GD or HBP during pregnancy, so it's important to eat a balanced diet and exercise. Did I feel like a big fat fatty when she said that? Yes! Did it motivate me to start making better choices instead of getting a Big Mac everyday because "the baby wants it"? YES!!!

    I thanked her for being honest with me for my and my unborn baby's welfare.

     

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    Thank you so much everyone!!!

    This is so helpful.  I can really see what you guys are saying and its helpful to know that it this isn't neglect, just the normal procedure.  That is all I was concerned about.  To be honest it was only 2 of my other pregnant friends who made me feel that their doctors were doing so much more. 

    All in all, I am probably less comfortable switching than I am staying with him.  And maybe I will look into a doula.

    And about the weight gain, I guess I need to just suck up my pride and realize that watching my weight gain is important for the health of me and my baby and so it is good to be mindful of it :)

    Thank you so so much everyone!

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    I've only had 2 appts with my Dr. and 2 ultrasounds at a separate facility.  Had I not done the NT scan or had a viability scan, I wouldn't have my first ultrasound until 18 weeks.  My doc comes in, does the doppler, asks how I'm feeling and if I have any questions and that's that.  Sounds pretty standard.
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