nanny v daycare?
I know neither are the ideal AP situation, but after 6 months home with the baby girl, I have to go back to work. 
i'm torn, I know I have to pick what's best for *our* family, but
wondered if anyone has done any research or has thoughts on the
subject as to which is better for infants.
We had planned on nanny for 2 months until the daycare spot opens up (a great reggio emilia school with a 1-3 ratio and no plastic toys) but the nanny (an awesome women who seems to really do great with our daughter and spends lots of time with her outside looking at nature) said if we use her full time she'll lower her rate, which makes it almost in line with our (expensive) day care.
The daycare doesn't believe in CIO, and I think she'd be happy there, and it really is gorgeous inside with all the natural materials. On the other hand, they won't do EC, and the nanny will (probably). She also just won't get the same 1-1 attention.
I believe that kids need some kind of socialization, and she certainly won't get as much with a nanny. But does she really need much before 1 year or so?
ugh. i'm just hoping someone can help me think through this.
Re: nanny v daycare?
She's 6 months old? Nanny I'd say. As wonderful as that school sounds (I'm jealous!!) at that age it's most important for her to be forming a strong secondary (to you) attachment to her caregiver. That caregiver should be able to get her out to socialize when she's old enough and I'd say for sure put her in that fab center when she's more preschool age. Good luck!
So...we worked it out so we don't need childcare at the moment, but before we figured that out I had decided on a nanny. It's actually not that much more expensive than a quality daycare and I feel like you have much much more control over what happens. For instance, the EC thing. I don't know of any daycare that would do that. And there are tons of playgroups, playgrounds, baby classes for socialization.
I kind worried that there would be times when DS needed something and someone else is getting attention and DS has to wait...(Of course this is fine when they're older, they need to learn to wait, but not when they're babies, imo). But I should also say that kids in our family are notoriously quiet and hesitant to "ask for" attention....and can turn out to be the "good" kid that everyone kind of forgets about while they're chasing around the rowdy-but-charming cuties. I know plenty of more assertive kids that would get more than enough attention at daycare.
But the real reason for me was that attachment piece....I would rather have DS develop a trusting relationship with another adult who is likely going to be in his life for some time (and maybe forever, nannies often become part of the family and stay in touch long after they leave). To me it seems better than being in a kind of "school" environment where he would be kind of attached to several people.
I am so glad I finally got on this site.... my daughter is 10 months old and my husband and I still debate this issue.
I think that if her grandparents can watch her they should (she loves them and vice versa!) He thinks that around her first bday we need to get her into daycare... (I am told I "coddle" her?!) I am trying to "build my case" for her to stay with her grandparents a while longer... thoughts/ suggestions?~
I was pretty persuaded by both the Dr. Sears book and Attachment Parenting that a nanny is the way to go for at least the first year.
Babies need to be able to bond with and trust their caregivers--much more important during infancy than peer socialization. We'll likely look into switching DD to daycare at least part-time when she's around a year and a half or so.
I think the best thing for infants is to have consistent, responsive, adult caregivers.
If you can find a wonderful nanny that you trust, that's a wonderful way to go. It does ensure 1:1 attention and specific attributes like doing EC.
I also think that there are daycare which can provide this kind of caring, responsive. It's about finding the right daycare and trusting the people there. For an infant, the toys and the activities don't matter, the most important thing is the people. It isn't until toddler age that the toys and activities are just as important as the caregivers, and I don't think that a social "classroom" is necessary until at least 2 or 3 years old.
We had logistical reasons for using a daycare (it's only closed on predictable holidays) and we found one that we adore with people that we trust. Each of our kids as infants has formed an attachment with 1-2 caregivers in the infant room. So much so that we were a little sad when they changed rooms (but they've continued to form good attachments in subsequent rooms.)
The other factor is that we just couldn't find a good nanny. We didn't look a ton, but we couldn't get any word of mouth recommendations and I wasn't comfortable looking on craigslist...
Honestly, there isn't a right or wrong answer. What is your gut telling you? Our top two daycares were very similar. We went with the one that we preferred by gut instinct because there was no tangible difference.