Vent: Is anyone's toddler "good"?

LSUBride3

Gracie constantly tests me.  Right now she's climbing and i swear she must take off 15 minutes of my life every time she does it.  And the word, "NO!"  Oh brother   She loves it so much, she even says it when she doesnt' really mean it.

How in the world am i always supossed to be consistent with my discipline when there is another baby to care for and everything else life brings? As it is i've already broken most, if not all of my (self imposed) parenting "rules" just for convience sake or my sanity... 

Does everyone go through this? Does anyone have a really good toddler? One that listens the 1st time(usually)?  If so, is it genetics or was it just the product of really hard work?  How did you do it?  I am often miserable   Besides wanting to get a handle on disciple for the future, i am also letting everything else go since they take up all my time.  My house is a wreck, i never want to take them anywhere because it's too hard, etc...

And i know, i know, "this too shall pass", but what if it doesn't? Right now i need to be laying the groundwork for the future of them listening to me, right? Help :-)

CMM05

Ummm.....I said the same thing last night!!! I had a bad night with Connor b/c I took both boys for a walk by myself (with the double stroller....). At one point, Connor unbuckled himself and was RUNNING into the street (and we were walking during rush hour....). And, when I was explaining why he can't run into the street, he was laughing the whole entire time.

Then, during bath, he screamed the entire time because his favorite washcloth was dirty.....grrr....

I have one friend who I swear has a "perfect" little girl. Granted.....she didn't walk until she was about 18 months and she just seems to "sit." She is not active at all.......I get jealous sometimes.....

 

ESTH2000

Mine is!!!

Whenever I tell her she did something wrong she makes a point of telling me she is a "gud girl" and her favorite word right now is "nu" too!!

I think I am in for some hard times ahead. This is sooooo hard.

She also screams when she doen't get way. ay yi yi

firsttogo

I would by no means tout that my child is perfect, but he is pretty darn good! There are many days like the ones you describe, and yes my home is a sty! He is getting better with listening, and it all seems to coincide with his verbal development. The better he can speak to me, the more 'we get along'

It is a hard age, and I am strict with him. My mom and dad think a little too much even (eh they are grandparents though) but limits and consistency are all you can do. Some days I set the same limit 400809890879879724 times, but he eventually realizes that we are not getting up from the table until the meal is over (within reason for his attention span) or that he HAS to be buckled in the stroller while going here or there.

It is hard, and you do the same thing everyday, have the same conversations, and the same timeouts, but it you were to look from above, it gets a little better all the time!

di0607

My son is a nightmare to get to sleep in the evening. When he is tired or frusterated he starts hitting and kicking. :deep breath: When I tell him no it just gets worse. He has a "yes" or "no" opinion about EVERYTHING. When he knows he did something wrong he puts himself in time out. So time outs have become useless. He think they are hysterical. He knows hitting is wrong but he just can't stop himself.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I hope things let up a bit. Did I mention my little darling woke up at 5ish am today? Thank you daycare! 

 

DavezWife

don't hate me, but yes, overall, Ava is incredibly "good". I will give Davez part of the credit, evidently he was a super laid-back and easy kid. Ava also has my 1:1 attention all the time, which is a blessing and curse.

Things that helped us, I think...

I pick my battles. If I'm always telling her no, always making her do something (or something else) or arguing with her, that gets old for us both. I have a clear set of rules and expectations (age appropriate) and she knows. She may be 26 months, but she knows. She'll even tattle herself out, sometimes. "Avah, mommy say no no". lol.  We babyproofed the entire lower level, so she can't get into stuff I don't want her to. (latches on cupboards, etc). We have a pretty easy-going day, mostly.

Tantrums - I ignore them. Redirect. talk about it later in toddlerese. but I am not a mom that gives in. my way or hiway, I guess. I'm nice about it, but again, clear set of expectations and rules. She's quick to blow, and quick to look at shiny things or open a box of raisens. lol.

that's all I got.  GL !

LSUBride3

di0607:

 Thank you daycare! 

Amen!

Don't know how SAHMs do it.

MrsT1209

DD was awesome until a few months ago. The closer we get to 3, the worse it gets.

So if your DC isn't yet 3... don't think you have it good forever.   The worst is yet to come.

 

howleyshell

DS #1 threw some monster random irrational tantrums back in the day but over all he really did/does "mind" well.  He's a calm soul with an old spirit.

DS #2?

He's payback.

Super easy baby...  psycho defiant 2 yr old.

 

I keep hoping he out grows it.

 

If he doesn't.... I'm afraid you'll be reading about him in the national news for something parents would NOT be proud of.

 

LSUBride3

I know it doesn't help that she has me and her dad for examples.  I'm sure she is learning too many bad habits from us

One example is what i like to call her "daddy face."  It's MEAN.  But she does it when she knows she's doing something wrong because that's how he looks at her when she does...

dammit!

emiannie

DavezWife:

don't hate me, but yes, overall, Ava is incredibly "good". I will give Davez part of the credit, evidently he was a super laid-back and easy kid. Ava also has my 1:1 attention all the time, which is a blessing and curse.

Things that helped us, I think...

I pick my battles. If I'm always telling her no, always making her do something (or something else) or arguing with her, that gets old for us both. We babyproofed the entire lower level, so she can't get into stuff I don't want her to. (latches on cupboards, etc).

We haven't made it into the throes of tantrum hell yet.  We've had two.  After we realized it was just a stupid tantrum and nothing was actually wrong we ignored him...and it ended in like 5 minutes.  So that's what we're going to do from now on. 

Good luck!  I can't imagine how much harder it is with another baby around though...

madhatter2003

hehehehehe

 

Actually, I *think* we are on the tail end of the hellish period that was toddler-ness for DD. She has started to 'listen' by the count of 2, rarely do I have to go to 3 and timeout these days.  BUT she still has some tantrums in there that can last upwards of 1 hour.  They are getting fewer and far between though.

DS is starting, but he seems calmer than DD overall. We'll see.

3 years olds are certainly 'interesting' though.

howleyshell

Wanted to add that a book that is REALLY helpful in dealing with the toddler when you've got a baby to care for is:

"Parenting the Strong Willed Child"

 

Not saying yours is strong willed but the tools in there are VERY simple and we saw a change in Dylan's behavior immediately with just the first one.

It helps to have some tools that work well with just your voice since you've got your hands full with the baby.  I found that just by doing the narrative play thing (in the book) Dylan had much less defiant and acting out behavior and fewer tantrums.  It was so nice to learn something so simple that would bring so much more peace to our days. 

 

And.... I promise it DOES get easier!!! 

LSUBride3

howleyshell:

Wanted to add that a book that is REALLY helpful in dealing with the toddler when you've got a baby to care for is:

"Parenting the Strong Willed Child"

 

Not saying yours is strong willed but the tools in there are VERY simple and we saw a change in Dylan's behavior immediately with just the first one.

It helps to have some tools that work well with just your voice since you've got your hands full with the baby.  I found that just by doing the narrative play thing (in the book) Dylan had much less defiant and acting out behavior and fewer tantrums.  It was so nice to learn something so simple that would bring so much more peace to our days. 

 

And.... I promise it DOES get easier!!! 

I KNEW you'd have something for me   Shell, you are the parenting godess on here as far as i'm concerned