Military Families

"Abuse" while at basic

So, I got a phone call from X the other day.  He didn't sound to excited and when we started talking he said that he got his @ss kicked (he said for at least 20 min) by his MTI the other day when he moved during drill.  I said "awe that sucks" and kind of blew it off because I didn't know what to say or what.  (My dad always talked about the guys getting beat up for stuff when he was a Marine so I guess it didn't surprise me?)

So when I talked with his mom later, I let it slip out.  Well she freaked out and started talking with one of X's army friends who said that it is completely inappropriate and no longer tolerated to haze or beat in the military and we need to find out exactly what happened so he can talk to the base if necessary...

what I'm wondering is, are getting too involved?  I kind of feel like it is something that happened and by talking about it he could get into more issues with the guys.  I don't really know what all went on, we could only talk for less than 10 minutes... any opinions? (feel free to ask more questions if need be, I'll see if I have answers haha) 

Re: "Abuse" while at basic

  • I know you didn't get to talk for long so did he expand on the situation at all? Was he using "got my @ss kicked" literally or figuratively? Most guys will say I got "smoked" which means they were made to do push-ups or other physical exercise for a long period of time (until the lesson is learned). Since your H is new to all of this he may not have know to say "smoked" instead.

    When they enter basic training they are told what is and isn't "fair" punishment. I would say that if your H doesn't report it himself, you should not get involved. There will be many times throughout his career where you feel he is being treated unfairly, not physically but in other ways and you need to know it is up to him to deal with his command, not you. If anything your involvement will make things harder for him with his instructors, commander and the rest of the guys/girls in his unit.

  • Basic is a whole other world. I spent 25 minutes doing 4 count push ups after swim qual because I "eyeballed" my DI and she was having a bad day. (Granted, this was also the Marine Corps.. they are still a bit old school, though NOTHING like they used to be) so like the PP said, I would stay out of it. If your guy feels like he's been obviously maltreated, he can request mast,even while in basic, and the chain of command will look into it. Outside interference is completely inappropriate.
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  • I agree with the other posters.  I doubt he litterally got his "ass kicked."  I refered to many a smoaking as getting my ass kicked.  It is no one's place except for YX to report if someone did actually lay their hands on him. 
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  • I too agree with PP...the drill sergeants know that they are not supposed to lay a hand on anyone. And could get in a load of trouble if they do. They can however get in your face and yell at you. Which is probably what he was meaning.
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  • Thank you.  I agree, that involvement would only make things worse.  I was trying to figure out if he meant figuratively or literally and I didn't ask him to elaborate because I assumed he meant he had to do extra push ups or something and not literally got a beating.  But, his family got really upset and are making a huge deal out of it.  I tried to explain what I assumed happened but I don't think they understand.  I'm going to see them this weekend and try to explain again and give them some peace of mind.  Thanks for all the input. 
  • I agree with the other ladies. Most likely he does not mean in the literal sense that he got his assss kicked. More likely they did a ton of grueling workouts and drills and he is beat.
  • I'm sure he didn't get kicked in the butt literally. My husband did witness a guy getting thrown into lockers by an MTI. Someone reported it to another MTI and that guy was gone by the end of the week. So physical abuse isn't really tolerated in the military.
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  • I have to agree with the PP's. My DH comes home from PT every morning and says, "I got my as* kicked" I'm sure he was refering to the work out not a true as* whooping.
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  • We are not allowed to physically touch a Private unless it is in the interest of Safety - ours or theirs. I.E. if one PVT starts to choke another PVT you are daamn right I am going to put my hands on them. However, No, I cannot kick the shiit out of one just because they pisss me off.

    We actually have to go through mental screening to make sure we can control our temper. That being said - stuff happens. If he continues to elude to abuse ask him straight out if the have put their hands on him.

    You can destroy the career of an outstanding NCO with an accusation of Trainee Abuse - but that is not a reason to let it slide.

    GL - hope training starts to go a little better for him soon.

  • My finace is in basic training right now @ PI.  Most of his first letters were about the DIs kicking the crap out of him, which got me worried.  But he only meant that they were working him mentally and physically.  The same DIs that were "kicking is ass" were the ones that he later said he looked to as fathers and mentors.  Unless he says specifially that they hurt him I wouldnt worry to much.  Im sure hes just venting and like my hunny, the whooping that hes getting is done with good reason and not in an abusive way.

    GL !

  • imageAEOW13:

    My finace is in basic training right now @ PI.  Most of his first letters were about the DIs kicking the crap out of him, which got me worried.  But he only meant that they were working him mentally and physically.  The same DIs that were "kicking is ass" were the ones that he later said he looked to as fathers and mentors.  Unless he says specifially that they hurt him I wouldnt worry to much.  Im sure hes just venting and like my hunny, the whooping that hes getting is done with good reason and not in an abusive way.

    GL !

    As a Drill Sergeant I have to say... I think I love you. LOL, not many people get it that we do what we do for a reason.

  • ha! and I think I love you! I did 8 years in the USAR and left as a SSG so it is really good to see Army wives on here that are dual status or have been in the past :) 
  • imageehair:
    ha! and I think I love you! I did 8 years in the USAR and left as a SSG so it is really good to see Army wives on here that are dual status or have been in the past :) 

    Yep, I love being a Navy Wife/ Army Res Drill Sgt it makes for an intersting combo.

    :-)

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