Sisters... (vent-ish)
My oldest sister and her husband just announced that they are pregnant again (they have a 3yr and 15mo). And I am so happy for them... but they are scared... they are super busy with two very active, mischievous, and attention-needing kiddos... and I mean busy!
Anyway, I am happy, but I am also kinda jealous and bummed... see my sister and I were pregnant at the same time (her with her second and me with my first) and my pregnancy wasn't as "special" as I thought/initially imagined it would be... in comparison to my sister's 1st pregnancy... I feel that there is something really special and almost sacred about your first pregnancy... and I kind of feel like I missed out on that a bit (because my sister and I shared the attention... and now our LOs have to share Gran & Papa's time and attention... and toys!). Anyway, my sister had told me that she and her DH were definitely going to wait at least 2-3years before even TTC their next one... but it seems that nature took a different course.
Just bumming because DH and I planned on TTC #2 this fall... and I am now realizing how a BIG piece of me was looking forward to being the only one pregnant and not having to share (which makes me sound crazily jealous and selfish). But I just didn't want either one of us (or our babies) to have to share so much... I think everyone will agree that special time and attention is much appreciated 
Anyway, now we are discussing waiting... but I hesitate because we shouldn't change our plans just because of some unexpected, yet very happy and exciting news...??
Input? Support? Personal Stories?
Hopefully I am not sounding super-selfish.
Re: Sisters... (vent-ish)
My SIL (DH's brothers wife) and I were pregnant at the same time, her with her second and me with my first. They are 3 days apart! This time around I was pregnant with my BFF..she delivered right after Christmas and my DS was born at the beginning of Feb. I loved that too!
I personally loved it. Maybe because we only share inlaws it didn't affect us as much, but I felt like people were still excited for me because it was our first. My SIL was more excited for me than anyone. She was a great help and resource and I absolutely LOVE having my nephew and DD so close in age. They're so stinking cute together.
I think you're over thinking it. I guess I don't see how special time and attention is so needed from other people. Your pregnancy should be special because it's yours. It seems like you were only looking at the negative of the situation and not the good things.
I would never let something like this affect when I started TTC. Sorry, but I think you're being a bit ridculous about this one. Have you always had jealousy issues regarding your sister and attention from your parents? I feel like that is what this post boils down to.
If you are very close to your sister think of how close the cousins will be! My BEST BEST BEST friend is my cousin who is 6 months older than me. I do not know where I would be with out her.
Don't change your plans because of this.
Try to enjoy your pregnancy with you immediate family, your DH and LO. It will always be special to you three!
I am a bit ridiculous, aren't I? ... well, I guess I over-plan and had an idea in my mind...
Toughest part is that I approached our sharing our pregnancies as being a fun, adventure that we got to share, but my sister was always contradicting things that I said and researched... I am an RN and am pursuing midwifery and she is a teacher and leans more toward medical interventions and isn't always well-read on pregnancy and children... in terms of research, and always made my approach to pregnancy and child-rearing seem inferior.
She also hates that our LOs are constantly compared... since they are so close in age... and her little guy is a rather BIG guy... and my little DD is little, so sometimes people make inconsiderate jokes about the size of her son and that has always bothered her... whenever we get into a disagreement over something she loses all filters and makes snappy remarks about my "perfect daughter" ... as if she feels threatened.
I just wanted to make things more simple. But I am over thinking this...
Thanks for the understanding... I am so happy for my sister... and need to be excited for her and support her because she is scared and overwhelmed... but here I sit thinking about me... I always over-think and over-plan things.
Seems that me and my sisters are so close (as is my entire family) that sometimes sharing so much and something so HUGE leads to childish feelings of someone feeling left-out and not getting "enough" attention.
Honestly, other people don't usually make that big of a deal about second pregnancies anyway. And I agree with PP about the cousins thing. My MOH was my cousin and one of best male friends is a cousin as well. There are a cluster of us within a couple year span of each other and there are a lot of super close friendships among us. I'd love for my LOs to have that.
Ah, after reading your second post about some tension with your sister during pregnancy and since, I can understand a little better why you're feeling that way.
We live 600+ miles from all family. I got my BFP the week of my graduation from grad school. My parents and older sister traveled here for it, so I was able to tell them in person that I was pg. I actually told my sister first. She was all excited and then quiet for a minute and then said, "I took a test on Sunday and I'm pregnant, too!" My first (and second, as it turned out) and her fourth! I will admit, it was a little disappointing making the pregnancy announcement then to the rest of our family at the same time as hers, but she understood that and we ended up sharing the news a day apart.
After that, it was really fun to be pg together. She was due 8 days ahead of me but my twins were born a little earlier than her DD.
There's not a ton of comparing since the cousins have only been together in person once, but we do talk about what each LO is up to, latest milestones, how big they are, etc. My boys are decent sized and her DD is a tiny peanut, but we've never thought much about that. My boys get compared enough with each other that comparisons with their same-aged cousins aren't an issue! My brother and SIL actually had a baby boy just 4 months before our babies were born, but it's really fun to have this little group of cousins all so close in age, especially since the first four are more spread out.
Sorry, that got really long, but I just wanted to share my experience in case it helps. Hopefully things will be a little less tense and competitive-feeling with your sis this time around!
I was about 4 months along when SIL (DH's bother's wife) announced she was pg. At 1st I thought it was going to be an issue as MIL definitely favors their family and would sort of forget about our family. Well, at times she does and it gets really really old. But SIL and I are now closer than we have ever been. We had drastically different births and supported each other through the recovery process. We both attempted nursing with different results but again, the same support and understanding for each other.
Does MIL still favor her daughter over my son. yup! Do the other BIL/SIL combo dote on her daughter more than my son, yup! But do SIL and I get the kids together whenever possible to play while we trade supplies and stores (and wine), yup. We are actually hoping to be pg again this time around as it was great for us (even though MIL still pulls her crap).