Success after IF

Regretting date we chose for Toodle's bday party

His bday party is 12 days before he actually turns 1. My brother and family are in town so I liked that all his cousins would be there and aunt and uncle, whereas if we had it his actual birthday weekend it would be father's day and my other brother and wife are expecting a baby within days of then, so I was pretty sure it would end up being me, DH and my mom b/c people would be spending the weekend with their dads (mine lives 1,000 miles away so not an issue for us).

I can't do anything about it now, the invites are out, but it's starting to make me really anxious to celebrate it before it happens like it's tempting fate/putting the cart before the horse (insert pessimistic adage here). My anxiety about something happening to Toodle has been out of control lately. Does anyone else have early birthday parties or am I the only one?

*** It's funny because I'm fat ***

Re: Regretting date we chose for Toodle's bday party

  • The boys second birthday party (this year) will be early.  It has to be because of Christmas, my sister having a baby, wedding in NY yadda yadda.  I think it is fine to do early.  You picked a day and it will be a great day.
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  • My babies b-day is Thanksgiving weekend, so we have to celebrate it the weekend before. Ours will be 9 days before their actual b-day. Lots of people have early b-day parties, you want to have your family there to celebrate and it seems to be the best date for everyone. If you waited you wouldn't have everyone around to celebrate your little guy and he deserves everybody's love for this special celebration!!!

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  • We have parties when they work out for us schedule-wise! I know it is not the same issue, but I am dealing with mad-anxiety right now too. You have to consciously remind yourself that it is just a party. You will not "bring the bad in" by celebrating it early.

    Enjoy his party, and this great milestone coming up!

  • I love love love parties that occur before the birthday.  It always feels like the anticipation and excitement is there in full force. 

    I am sorry you are going through a stressful time right now.  The one year mark is a HUGE milestone.  But he is going to be fine.  You are almost Mom to a toddler!  Now the real anxiety can start...Is he talking enough?  Is he social?  etc. and etc. and etc.

    Is there anyway you could take a day and just spend it with Toodle?  Maybe some baby and Momma time could make you feel less anxious?

  • Just think of the party as the beginning of the festivities leading up to Toodle's big day! Then on his actual birthday you can do something special with just the 3 of you. Anxiety is probably inevitable (I know it is for me) but I know you've got the strength to get through it and I'm certain Toodle's birthday will be wonderful and he will get through better than fine!
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  • We had 2 b-day parties for Caroline, when she turned one.  We traveled to San Antonio in July of last year for her party and had one here for friends on her actual b-day in August. 

    You are NOT tempting fate by celebrating early!  I'm sorry that you're having anxiety issues.  Honestly, I think that it's a normal part of being a parent.  Hell, DD STTN'd last night and I am so unused to the quiet that I went to check on her a few times and got little to no sleep, whatsoever.

  • We celebrated Patrick's 1st birthday a week or two before his actual birthday here in the States and then again celebrated his birthday on his actual birthday in Germany!  We also looked at it as an anticipatory celebration leading up to the actual day.  It will be fine!!
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  • I'm confused, I think.  What is it you're worried about?  I think it's fine to celebrate it early.  Most people do this.

    After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
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  • When I was a kid, we always had two parties because my mom and dad's extended families lived two hours apart.  
     
    If your anxiety is really out of control and it is not just temporary, can you go talk to someone about it?  Or is it not impacting your quality of life with your family? 
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  • Last year my mom wanted to have a birthday party for the girls 1st birthday.  They were only 10.5 months old but we did it anyway so all of my family could attend.  I felt like it was fake but not tempting fate or anything. 

    We ended up having another big birthday here in NJ with friends and dhs family after their birthday but on their actual birthday we went and spent the day as a family.   

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  • it's only 12 days! It won't ruin anything!

    We had the P&J's on their actually birthday and i wish i didn't. I think i would have rathered spent the day with just us!

    For Brady since his birthday is the week of thanksgiving we are having the week after because it is going to be crazy

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  • I wish we would have done Haydens the weekend before his birthday. His b-day was on Mother's Day so we did it the weekend after his birthday and I think it was more stressful than if we would have done it before. It will be great and won't jinx anything.
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  • We've been doing it  for the sake of scheduling.  It's worked out nicely as it allows us to celebrate on the actual day as just our family of three.  Something nice in my mind about the day being how it actually happened.  We like doing the big party ahead of time and saving mom / dad gifts for the personal dinner
  • Carter's bday is 7/1 so the weekend after that is the 4th of July and I don't really want to do that. I was going to do the 10th but now we are moving to our new house that week. Ack! so I am probably going to do it the weekend before.

    I also have a great deal of anxiety about something happening to Carter. When he is too quiet in the carseat I pull over to check on him, and several times in the night and during naps. makes me feel like a crazy person.

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