Parenting

I need some support

I don't want to go into details, but it's no secret I have issues with yelling and my temper. I need a kick in the butt to finally start seeing a therapist and get to the bottom of it. I'm seriously starting to hate myself as well as scare myself. Any support or tough love you could send my way would be much appreciated.
imageimage
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church

Re: I need some support

  • Hugs!  You just had a baby, give yourself a break!  Don't be too hard on yourself.
  • Ugh! I am right there with you! I know how tough things can be with two little ones. Give Dr. B a call tomorrow and I am sure she can get you in touch with the right Dr's. Hang in there! I am not too far away if you ever need some nestie help. There are lots of us within a half hour drive or so.

     Big Hugs!

    Heather

    Reid 9-17-05 Grace 6-2-07 Owen 10-19-11
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  • I know things are amplified because I'm not sleeping and my hormones are insane, but I also know this is not a new issue and, while I go through good periods with it, it always recurs. I'd really like some new tools to use to nip my screamfests in the bud.
    imageimage
    Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
    "Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
  • No sleep is HARD.  Two kids is HARD. Being hormonal and post partum is HARD.  When you get a chance check out Screamfree Parenting.  It has been a great read for myself and my DH.
    Jill * Married to Steven 11/9/03 * DS Samuel 4/4/05* DS #2 Jeffrey 6/13/2009
  • imageJillShari:
    No sleep is HARD.  Two kids is HARD. Being hormonal and post partum is HARD.  When you get a chance check out Screamfree Parenting.  It has been a great read for myself and my DH.

    This was perfectly said. I just wanted to give you support and :::::hugs:::::::!

    Melanie ~Ava Grace 7.20.06 & Lila Jane 7.22.09~ m/c #3 6/18/08 image
  • First, take a deep breath and give yourself a break; you JUST had a baby and your emotions, good and bad, are on super overdrive.  Ask for help when you feel like you can't do it anymore.  

    Second, the hardest part is just making the call.  Believe me. I remember.  If you want, I can use the same search tool that I used when we first moved to LA and I could send you some suggestions for therapists in your area (just email me if you want me to do that!)   

    You'll get through this; you're an amazing mama; I've seen your parenting first-hand and I don't think you give yourself nearly enough credit for how good of a parent you are.  

     

  • I'm sorry you're going through this.  I agree with everyone who said you just had a baby.  I know this is not a new issue for you, but you are going through a lot right now.  Cut yourself some slack.  Give it at least a few weeks (months) for everything to settle out - your hormones, your routine, everything.  I'm not saying don't see the therapist if that's what you need.  You know what you need and the call is the first step.  But over and above that, give yourself a break.  It's a lot to deal with those first few weeks/months.  Everyone gets overwhelmed.  Take a deep breath and figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself and your family and don't worry about anything else.
  • Femme, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I know how hard it is--just know that so many of us have been there, and could have written your post at some point in parenting. Feel free to pm me here or on FB if you want to talk. I've really struggled since having M, more than I'm comfortable sharing on here, but if it would help, I'm happy to talk.
  • Femme, you are a seriously awesome mom.  Really!  This is one area you want to improve so do what you need to do to improve. 

    Also, don't be so hard on yourself right now.  Your second child was just born -- you're in survival mode right now.  As long as everyone gets through the next few weeks you are seriously a great mom.  :)

    ((((hugs))))

    .
  • What Dande said!

    I did a few things to help me get through survival mode. One was make a list of things to do. Not your normal things to do, though.

    1. feed everyone, including myself.

    2. dance with DC#1.

    3. dress everyone, including myself.

    4. dance with DC #1.

    5. nap or relax 

    I just made sure I was doing something silly or fun with DD as much as possible. I recently put up signs throughout the house reminding me to have fun. I also started seeing a therapist in November to help me relax. I get on the floor and have DD do stretches with me. When you feel like you are about to yell, bust a move! It sounds silly, but it has helped.

    Where's Zenya? She has a good list of things that help, also.

    (((HUGS))) It will get better. Just make sure you take some time for yourself. Even if it's putting DC#2 in a pnp and DS in your bed while you take a shower. 

  • imagesmccabe9:
    Hugs!  You just had a baby, give yourself a break!  Don't be too hard on yourself.

    THIS.  A million times this.

    (((BIG FAT HUGS)))

    Kill all my demons and my angels might die too. -Tennessee Williams

    image
    You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
  • You get a little leeway right now because you just had a baby and that hormone crash is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

    But, I also understand what you mean about scaring yourself.  Do what you need to do to stop scaring yourself!

    imageimage Ashley Sawtelle Photography
  • Like everyone else said, just get through these next couple of weeks. Give yourself some time to get to know your new family and then start working on stuff. Hugs to you!
  • ditto everything everyone else said. And I know we don't "know" each other, but I am literally next door... if there's anything I can do to help, please do not hesitate to ask. It was a few years ago for me, but I too clearly remember how insane those first few weeks with two little ones was.

     

     

    A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. ~Marion C. Garrett
    image7_0002 A ~ 2.7.06 S ~ 9.2.07
  • Oh honey!!! God, do I remember those days. I don't hink there is anything I can say that hasn't already been said but I wanted to let you know if you need me just holler. I wish I was closer- pout.

    HUGE GIANT HUGS, keep your chin up and rememebr this too shall pass!!!


    ~Lisa
    Mum to Owen and Lucas Daisypath Wedding tickers>
  • It is quadrupled after you add a new baby to the family. Trust me! I have issues as well. It was really bad there for a while, but now that things are started to feel "normal" again, it has gotten a lot better. Hang in there. I PROMISE it gets better!
  • imageBubblyToes:

    imagesmccabe9:
    Hugs!  You just had a baby, give yourself a break!  Don't be too hard on yourself.

    THIS.  A million times this.

    (((BIG FAT HUGS)))


    Ditto this.  Sorry you  are having a rough day.  Remember, tomorrow is another day and it will get easier. :)

  • imagesmccabe9:
    Hugs!  You just had a baby, give yourself a break!  Don't be too hard on yourself.

    smc already said exactly what I wanted to say.  

    Sisterly love--Sophia (1/14/07) and Baby Margaux (7/13/10) image Doctor in training! :)image
  • Having 2 kids is no joke.  For real.  It is hard times 10,000...so don't be too hard on yourself.  Do what you need to do to cope, and if seeing a therapist will help, do it.  I had to go to therapy after Jack was born and it was the best thing I could have done for myself at the time.  Hang in there!
    image
  • I have a temper issue, too.  It mainly manifests in my relationship with my mom, but it sometimes comes out toward the kids (sometimes) or H (rarely).  There was a root to it, and it did come out in therapy, and I think it's a good idea to try to seek it out if you find things don't improve.  I know it's so cheesy, but GI Joe is right, knowing is half the battle ;o)  

    That being said, you just had a baby.  Your hormones are raging.  You are sleep-deprived.  Your husband probably sleeps too much, the *ss.  It is normal to be off-kilter at this point.  Let your life calm down first (and it will, I PROMISE) and then evaluate whether you really need therapy.  In the meantime, don't beat yourself up.  Just tell yourself things (and you) will be better tomorrow.

    Also, drink lots of water!  I have found that water makes a huge difference in my mood.

  • ZenyaZenya member
    You know I can relate!  Be gentle with yourself.  You're still in the trenches.  It'll be fine!  Plenty of people act that way and see nothing wrong with it.  You're miles ahead of them.
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