Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

question about condolence cards

I learned last week that someone I work with suffered a loss.  I feel so terrible about it and I am hearbroken for her.  I feel a sense of guilt, too, because I found out that she was pg after my m/c and didn't congratulate her.  I was sincerely happy for her and was planning on doing it but didn't feel like I was "ready" yet.  

Anyway, there was a card and an envelope passed around at work that I contributed to, but I wanted to let her know that I had a recent loss as well and I am there for her.  That wasn't something that I could say in that card since no one really knew about my pg or m/c.  I bought a card on Thursday that I had intended to mail out to her this week and of course I never did.  She will be back to work this week so I am wondering if I should mail the card- which would arrive after she comes back to work- or- should I put the card in her work mailbox?

On one hand- I really want to express my condolences to her but are cards too painful to look at?  Would it be too upsetting to receive a card like that at work?  (obviously she may choose not to open cards at work)

I feel dumb asking these questions but I feel so helpless in this situation. Thanks.  

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Re: question about condolence cards

  • just because there is the chance she would open it at work at be upset..i would def. send it to her in the mail...

    so sorry for your loss..and for hers also..its hard to go through :(

  • I got a card at work after my m/c...I didn't read it at work because I knew what it was related to...

    I thought it was a very nice gesture.

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  • I would mail it.  My coworkers gave me a card at work, and told me not to open it until I was home.  You could tell her the same thing?  It was kind of awkward to find a card in my purse though....
    ***** TTCAL/Forever Buddy to Cour10e******
    -m/c at 11w2d due to partial molar 2008 -m/c #2 2009
    Beautiful daughter born February 2011
    **Ultimate TTCALer 2009**

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  • I would mail it - I personally can help but open cards at work if someone gives me one - the curiosity is too much for me!  So then I'd end up opening it and be upset, so if it were me I'd prefer it be mailed to me.
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  • MAIL it. We received multiple cards in the mail. We were able to open them when we were able to sit together, read them, cry if we needed to. I didn't even think people would send cards until we started receiving them. It's a thoughtful gesture.
  • Thanks everyone. I'll be mailing it out tomorrow. 
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  • I would send it to her home. Personally, I like getting cards. I got a card from my Grandma-in-law and a friend in California sent me a card with some muffins she made. It let me know people do care and they were genuinly sad for us.
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