Taking 4-month old out to dinner past bedtime??

schick

We have just started getting into a pretty good nap/bedtime routine and our LO gets antsy around 6:30 b/c she knows she is going to sleep at 7:00pm...

However, now my husband and family want us to make sure she is "flexible" and want us to take her out to a restaurant past her bedtime...

Is this a good idea?? Does anyone else take their baby out past their bedtime? Do I do the usual routine (bath/nurse) and then just put her in the carseat and hope for the best??

MelodyMoonstone

We take LO out sometimes when its time for bed, but there's not much flexibility with him.  When he's tired, he's miserable.  I usually keep him in the carseat and rock him if he gets fussy and try to get him to fall asleep.

We don't really have a bedtime routine, but we try to keep the time about th same every night. 

mrsfox1369

I did this and it actually went well once. I've only done it twice and the reason it failed the first time was because someone took her out of her car seat to hold her and woke her up while I was going to the bathroom.. needless to say she was not happy. The night when it was just DH and I she fell asleep about 15 minutes passed her bedtime in her car seat and stayed out.. she woke a little bit when we moved her in her crib but she STTN like she usually does.

sbevmc09

If you have a good bedtime routine why would your H and his fam (who should butt out) want your LO to be flexible?  I mean, if you have to take her out past bedtime b/c that's when you're doing something then do it.  I'm sure your LO will be more fussy, but sometimes that's how it has to be.  It seems silly to try to force the issue though.  JMO.  I don;t think you'll be able to "train" your baby to be more "flexible".  They'll either have a routine or they won't.

jenny1980

DD has gotten increasingly used to her routines and it's more and more painful to have her stay up late. She's a totally easy baby, but has a complete meltdown if over tired. Last night we didn't get home until 9pm (normal bedtime is 7) and she spent most of the hour car ride crying (and she is NOT a crier!).

What works okay is to go out after she's already asleep--she tends to just conk out in the carseat at that point. 

I'm totally willing to keep her up late for special occasions, but I'm not going to make her uncomfortable just to "be flexible" for the sake of being flexible.

 

MrsRebecca

Taking my son out past his bedtime is a nightmare. I do not believe a 4 month old needs to be flexible.

Mrs.BoomBoom

I try to avoid it.  We did it when LO was younger and it was great but now he really likes sleeping in his crib and can be unpredictable if we try to change things up (even having others over to the house for dinner) he can be fine but he can also be a crying over-tired mess.  I'd rather avoid the crying over-tired mess which isn't fun for ANYONE so we avoid dinners out after bedtime

jenny1980

Another thought: babies sleep MUCH better when they have consistent routines. I'm sure it's not a big deal to occasionally keep them out late, but if you do so regularly in the name of "flexibility", it could really mess their sleep up.

And, like Rebecca says, why does a small infant need to be flexible anyway?

 

 

Luv-a-Bug

I try to avoid it when possible too.  It makes things pretty miserable when he doesn't get enough sleep, and he sleeps poorly if he doesn't go to bed early enough.

That being said, if it's unavoidable, I give him his bath and change him into his sleeping onesie and night time diaper before going (assuming it's close enough to his bedtime that he's not going to need a change again), so that getting him to bed when arriving home is very quick, and with any luck he's sleeping by the time we get home anyway and can just be put down into the crib.

ABCmom!!!

if I take LO out past his bedtime, he usually falls asleep anyway around his usual bedtime. I just let him sleep and when we get home I put him in his crab and he stays asleep.

honeybee111

Bad idea.  DD's bedtime is around 8:30, and we've found that if we're not headed home by 8, then we end up dealing with a meltdown which isn't pleasant for anyone.  Especially if you're in a restaurant, you don't want to make everyone else's dinner miserable because of a fussy baby. 

sapgirl76

Sleep is sacred to me- not something you mess with for the sake of "flexibility". We wouldn't keep DS out past his bedtime (which is a ridiculously early 6:30!) unless we had to, but we're weird about stuff like that.  I see it like feeding- I wouldn't not feed him to get him to be flexible about eating, so why would I keep him out when he needs to be sleeping?

GershiGirl

I agree with the posters who say you shouldn't try and force the issue... babies thrive on routines and schedules and I find that screwing with the schedule doesn't make my baby flexible, it just makes him sleep worse, which means I sleep worse.  That being said, if you need to go out past bed time every once in a while it's doable.  If we're going to be out past bed time, which is 7:00 for my DS I try to give him a long nap late in the day, usually around 5:00.  That way he's not too cranky while we're out and will usually fall asleep on the way home.

 

We've been having to do this a lot the last couple of weeks due to a bunch of family dinners and events surrounding my sister's graduation.  I have found that DS isn't getting used to it or becoming more flexible... instead he's waking up 3-4 times a night because his schedule is so screwed up now he's not sure what's going on.  He went to bed at his normal bed time last night and it made a world of difference!  He only woke up once

gillysk

If it is a special occasion, I will...otherwise, to me it is not worth it b/c LO usually ends up miserable anyways.  This is true for my 2 1/2 year old DS, too.  I have a much better time if I get a sitter and DH and I go out alone.  We usually put the kids to bed first, and then all the sitter has to do is be here listening for them in case they wake up.  If we're going out to eat with the kids, we will go early around 5 or so, that way we don't have to wait for a table and are back in time for bedtime.  Some family members think we are too routinized, but I don't care, my kids are happy, well rested, and well behaved, and I think that part of it is because of their schedules

law8296

I had the same concern but the best advice I received is that every once in a while won't ruin the routine.  BUT- you may have to deal with a fussier baby that night; who knows maybe she'll do just fine.  If she's still up when you get home, my suggestion would be do to the routine as it usually is.  If she's asleep- put her to bed.