people feeding DC from their spoons/plates

echildre

How do you respond to people who use their used utensils to feed bites of food to your DC? (ie. family members or close friends giving DS a bite of food from their plate with their spoon) Now, these are close family members/friends who I dearly love, but seriously, please do not feed my child from your used spoon. This happened tonight and I didn't know how to respond other than just taking DS over on my lap. I don't want to be super harsh, but really want to have something to say if this happens again. It wasn't the food issue (I had been feeding him the same thing from my plate). It's the fact that it was THIER utensil & germs, etc. Any ideas of nicer ways then EWWW STOP!!!?

Lucky_N_Love

i may be in the minority but it doesn't bother me but I am not much of a germaphobe. I figure they are kissing on her anway. If it was a stranger or someone who was sick that would be different.

KateLouise

Lucky_N_Love:

i may be in the minority but it doesn't bother me but I am not much of a germaphobe. I figure they are kissing on her anway. If it was a stranger or someone who was sick that would be different.

 This 

leah1615

I don't understand the big deal? Germs are good for kids, builds up their immune system!

seethesmiles

I'm a dentist and I usually tell parents not to share food or utensils or anything that may have their saliva on it with their young children. There has been a lot of evidence implying that these practices make your child more susceptible to dental caries (= cavities). Maybe you could say something like, "I don't mind if you give DC bites of food but our dentist (or pediatrician) recommended that we not share utensils until he's a little older."

sunnyday016

I don't really think it's a big deal at all and we do it all the time (usually just me, sometimes my mom will too). As for the dentist thing, we brush her teeth twice a day. If your kid has teeth, they need to be brushed. 

cobaltblue

Lucky_N_Love:

i may be in the minority but it doesn't bother me but I am not much of a germaphobe. I figure they are kissing on her anway. If it was a stranger or someone who was sick that would be different.

I agree with this.

seethesmiles

sunnyday016:

I don't really think it's a big deal at all and we do it all the time (usually just me, sometimes my mom will too). As for the dentist thing, we brush her teeth twice a day. If your kid has teeth, they need to be brushed. 

This has nothing to do with brushing your child's teeth, although I'm glad you do. It has to do with introducing a certain strain of bacteria, which is normally found in an adult's mouth, into a child's mouth. You can brush your child's teeth all day long but once this bacteria has been introduced into his mouth, he has a higher susceptibility to cavities in the future.

alison43

I would have said it didn't bother me at all (because we do it all the time) but now I'm a bit freaked out!!  Eeeesh.

CalinsBride

That would really bother me, and I would probably just make a joke out of it. Like "ewww, you don't want auntie jennie's gross germs, do you?" And then laugh like I thought it was funny, so the person got the point but without me having to tell them off.

SeaMama

KateLouise:

Lucky_N_Love:

i may be in the minority but it doesn't bother me but I am not much of a germaphobe. I figure they are kissing on her anway. If it was a stranger or someone who was sick that would be different.

 This 

Me too. 

tak2002

it has only happened to us once. my mil gave henry icecream off her spoon. sigh.

i had isuues, but the least of my issues was the spoon. 

jema30

seethesmiles:

sunnyday016:

I don't really think it's a big deal at all and we do it all the time (usually just me, sometimes my mom will too). As for the dentist thing, we brush her teeth twice a day. If your kid has teeth, they need to be brushed. 

This has nothing to do with brushing your child's teeth, although I'm glad you do. It has to do with introducing a certain strain of bacteria, which is normally found in an adult's mouth, into a child's mouth. You can brush your child's teeth all day long but once this bacteria has been introduced into his mouth, he has a higher susceptibility to cavities in the future.

I was told by my dentist that it was spread through kissing as well as the sharing of utensils.  I guess there's nothing we can do to avoid it long term but it's good to know. 

ColoRxGirl

seethesmiles:

I'm a dentist and I usually tell parents not to share food or utensils or anything that may have their saliva on it with their young children. There has been a lot of evidence implying that these practices make your child more susceptible to dental caries (= cavities). Maybe you could say something like, "I don't mind if you give DC bites of food but our dentist (or pediatrician) recommended that we not share utensils until he's a little older."

This.  Isn't this the same reason adults shouldn't put baby's pacifier in their own mouth?  Because it transmits the bacteria to the child?

seethesmiles

Jema30:

seethesmiles:

sunnyday016:

I don't really think it's a big deal at all and we do it all the time (usually just me, sometimes my mom will too). As for the dentist thing, we brush her teeth twice a day. If your kid has teeth, they need to be brushed. 

This has nothing to do with brushing your child's teeth, although I'm glad you do. It has to do with introducing a certain strain of bacteria, which is normally found in an adult's mouth, into a child's mouth. You can brush your child's teeth all day long but once this bacteria has been introduced into his mouth, he has a higher susceptibility to cavities in the future.

I was told by my dentist that it was spread through kissing as well as the sharing of utensils.  I guess there's nothing we can do to avoid it long term but it's good to know. 

It can be spread through any activity where saliva is swapped (kissing, sharing utensils and food, putting LO's paci in your mouth). And yes, it's completely unavoidable in the long run --- every adult has strep mutans in his or her mouth. But research shows that the earlier the bacteria is introduced, the higher the rate of dental caries. My personal opinion is that getting DS his own utensils and using them is one very simple way to keep the bacteria out as long as possible.

ETA: To the OP -- I didn't mean to hijack your post! I just didn't want anyone to be misinformed!

Lotte134

I'm in the doesn't bother me camp, but if you want to stop it I think the easiest way is what the pp said - have his own spoon right there so they can use that to give him bites of things rather than using their own.

mr+ms

seethesmiles:

I was told by my dentist that it was spread through kissing as well as the sharing of utensils.  I guess there's nothing we can do to avoid it long term but it's good to know. 

It can be spread through any activity where saliva is swapped (kissing, sharing utensils and food, putting LO's paci in your mouth). And yes, it's completely unavoidable in the long run --- every adult has strep mutans in his or her mouth. But research shows that the earlier the bacteria is introduced, the higher the rate of dental caries. My personal opinion is that getting DS his own utensils and using them is one very simple way to keep the bacteria out as long as possible.

ETA: To the OP -- I didn't mean to hijack your post! I just didn't want anyone to be misinformed!

Thank you for posting this! I'm one of those "I thought it was no big deal until it happened to us" people. Although tooth decay usually has a variety of contributors in any given case, it didn't help that I was sharing utensils/food with DD. By the time she was 16 mos old she had cavities on her 4 front teeth and we were told that she would 4 crowns, probably under general anesthesia. My own teeth are a disaster (lifetime problem) so it's no question where the germs came from.

I know it feels AP and natural to share food with LO's but if you're high risk (having tooth decay yourself) that puts your LO at a higher risk. With strangers, you don't have any idea what their condition is so better safe than sorry. 

And, while the transmission of strep mutans may be inevitable, there are plenty of good reasons to delay it. You can imagine, dental work on a kid under 5 = a challenge, possibly having to use sedation or all out with GA. Having to use fluoride products on a kid under 2 puts them at risk for fluorosis. The enamel on baby teeth is especially susceptible to damage; it is immature when the teeth first erupt. Damage occurs quickly once cavities develop. Roots of baby teeth take up a relatively larger portion of the tooth than adult teeth and with the small size of the teeth to start with, this makes the path from damaged enamel to abscess/dead tooth shorter than for adult teeth.

Anyway, shoot that was long. I really learned a lot from cleanwhiteteeth.com and the book on there. There are different ways to lower the level of and control the transmission of harmful mouth germs.

 

jema30

mr+ms:

seethesmiles:

I was told by my dentist that it was spread through kissing as well as the sharing of utensils.  I guess there's nothing we can do to avoid it long term but it's good to know. 

It can be spread through any activity where saliva is swapped (kissing, sharing utensils and food, putting LO's paci in your mouth). And yes, it's completely unavoidable in the long run --- every adult has strep mutans in his or her mouth. But research shows that the earlier the bacteria is introduced, the higher the rate of dental caries. My personal opinion is that getting DS his own utensils and using them is one very simple way to keep the bacteria out as long as possible.

ETA: To the OP -- I didn't mean to hijack your post! I just didn't want anyone to be misinformed!

Thank you for posting this! I'm one of those "I thought it was no big deal until it happened to us" people. Although tooth decay usually has a variety of contributors in any given case, it didn't help that I was sharing utensils/food with DD. By the time she was 16 mos old she had cavities on her 4 front teeth and we were told that she would 4 crowns, probably under general anesthesia. My own teeth are a disaster (lifetime problem) so it's no question where the germs came from.

I know it feels AP and natural to share food with LO's but if you're high risk (having tooth decay yourself) that puts your LO at a higher risk. With strangers, you don't have any idea what their condition is so better safe than sorry. 

And, while the transmission of strep mutans may be inevitable, there are plenty of good reasons to delay it. You can imagine, dental work on a kid under 5 = a challenge, possibly having to use sedation or all out with GA. Having to use fluoride products on a kid under 2 puts them at risk for fluorosis. The enamel on baby teeth is especially susceptible to damage; it is immature when the teeth first erupt. Damage occurs quickly once cavities develop. Roots of baby teeth take up a relatively larger portion of the tooth than adult teeth and with the small size of the teeth to start with, this makes the path from damaged enamel to abscess/dead tooth shorter than for adult teeth.

Anyway, shoot that was long. I really learned a lot from cleanwhiteteeth.com and the book on there. There are different ways to lower the level of and control the transmission of harmful mouth germs.

 

For what it's worth my DS has his own utensils!  I didn't mean to sound like I don't care, I do.  It's just something I can't worry about too much or I'll go crazy.  I keep things separate and am hopeful others will not feed him from their utensils.  

I'm sorry to hear that things are not good with your LO's teeth.  Hopefully people will learn from this thread and others won't have the same difficulty. 

 

PurpleK26

KateLouise:

Lucky_N_Love:

i may be in the minority but it doesn't bother me but I am not much of a germaphobe. I figure they are kissing on her anway. If it was a stranger or someone who was sick that would be different.

 This 

yup 

brideofaussie

I don't respond b/c I don't have a problem with it.

Since you do, I would have a conversation with them ahead of time and just politely ask them not to feed him from their utensils b/c you don't want to spread germs, etc.

brideofaussie

seethesmiles:

Jema30:

seethesmiles:

sunnyday016:

I don't really think it's a big deal at all and we do it all the time (usually just me, sometimes my mom will too). As for the dentist thing, we brush her teeth twice a day. If your kid has teeth, they need to be brushed. 

This has nothing to do with brushing your child's teeth, although I'm glad you do. It has to do with introducing a certain strain of bacteria, which is normally found in an adult's mouth, into a child's mouth. You can brush your child's teeth all day long but once this bacteria has been introduced into his mouth, he has a higher susceptibility to cavities in the future.

I was told by my dentist that it was spread through kissing as well as the sharing of utensils.  I guess there's nothing we can do to avoid it long term but it's good to know. 

It can be spread through any activity where saliva is swapped (kissing, sharing utensils and food, putting LO's paci in your mouth). And yes, it's completely unavoidable in the long run --- every adult has strep mutans in his or her mouth. But research shows that the earlier the bacteria is introduced, the higher the rate of dental caries. My personal opinion is that getting DS his own utensils and using them is one very simple way to keep the bacteria out as long as possible.

ETA: To the OP -- I didn't mean to hijack your post! I just didn't want anyone to be misinformed!

LOL.  Well my DSs teeth are totally fvcked.

cindy453

I feed Emmy off my spoon all the time. She thinks it's hilarious to get a bite of something that's "mama's"- even though she has the same thing on her plate Good thing she doesn't have teeth yet, lol

I honestly don't care. I'm not going to tell people not to kiss my child, and I'm certainly not going to avoid kissing her myself. 

brideofaussie

cindy453:

I feed Emmy off my spoon all the time. She thinks it's hilarious to get a bite of something that's "mama's"- even though she has the same thing on her plate Good thing she doesn't have teeth yet, lol

I honestly don't care. I'm not going to tell people not to kiss my child, and I'm certainly not going to avoid kissing her myself. 

Did you know that there are people who refuse to kiss their own children on the mouth?  True.  We discussed it on P&CE.  I was truly shocked.

echildre

OK so I'm not completely a germaphob (I'm in healthcare and completely understand that germs are unavoidable). I should have been more specific that it wasn't a direct family member but someone elses friend.  Also up here there are a ton of GI bugs going around and often people don't know they're sick until too late. So it's not like it was MIL or our immediate family. DS is mobile and it's really hard to keep him in one spot when people are snacking and he's playing. But I'll keep in mind the 'his own spoon' suggestion. I was just looking for some concrete things to say, so thanks to those that posted some.

 The other concern I had was the dental bacteria thing, but couldn't remember the specifics so I didn't mention them. I also had awful teeth as a kid and would prefer to spare my son that trauma. So thanks to those that posted on that.

Hope everyone's having a good memorial day & thanks for the input.

jshf

Wow, this was informative!  I definitely will give DS food with his own spoon.  My nephew had a million cavities and had to go under general anesthesia to get a lot of dental work done when he was just 5.  I'm not sure everything he did, but his dentist said his teeth was the worst she had ever seen! DS doesn't have any teeth, but we've been brushing his gums with wet gauze every day just so he gets used to brushing his teeth.

I don't kiss him on the mouth, but it's mainly b/c I get cold sores and am afraid he will get one.  

Great, another thing to tell my in-laws NOT to do.  They are going to think I am really insane! 

sassy_mommy

I would be very bothered by this.  Yes, bothered by the germs, but also by the audacity to do something like that as if your DS is THEIR child.  People absolutely AMAZE me with the things they do (kiss LO on the mouth, feed LO something they did not ask me about, even if it was not from their spoon/plate).  I DO NOT CARE if they're a close relative or friend....do that with your own child and ask if it's not your baby.  Though I am saying exactly how I feel on this post, I have to work on being more vocal in real life.  I just have to figure out how to be nice and firm at the same time.