You can tell me I'm crazy

kls621

but this just really bothers me. My MIL never says my DS  name when she asks about him. It is always how is "Grandma's baby" (that one isn't so bad) or how is "our baby"(this one is the one I hate). Since when is she part of the our, it is her grandbaby period and he has a name.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.

aegrimm

You should say, "Who?"

Then she'll say, "Oh, you know, (insert DS's name here)."

Maybe if you do that enough times she'll get the hint, lol

Good luck!

madameprimm

I have a question because I'm genuinely curious. Why does it bother you? I've seen other ladies vent about the same thing, and I honestly don't understand why.

Lots of people in my family refer to Gia as their in various contexts, but it makes sense to me considering she's their family in some way or another. They absolutely adore her and that's why they use phrases like that. How can people be bothered by that?

aegrimm

madameprimm:

I have a question because I'm genuinely curious. Why does it bother you? I've seen other ladies vent about the same thing, and I honestly don't understand why.

Lots of people in my family refer to Gia as their in various contexts, but it makes sense to me considering she's their family in some way or another. They absolutely adore her and that's why they use phrases like that. How can people be bothered by that?

The whole "my baby" thing doesn't bother me (personally), but I don't like when people (especially) family refer to her as "the baby". She has a name. I spent a long time picking it out. She is not an inanimate object, she is a person.

But, I'm weird like that. I'm OK saying "my kids" (or "your kids" "his kids" "our kids" etc) but I don't like saying "the kids". I feel like they are more important than that and they need to belong to someone (in the grammatical sense).

Maybe I wasn't hugged enough as a child....  lol

kls621

If I had a better relationship with my MIL it probably wouldn't bother me. But she is very clingy and territorial. At family functions she doesn't want anyone else to have time to hold the baby, she barely lets FIL hold him. I only get to hold him when he is hungry, another reason I am so glad he is EBF and we do not give him bottles. I have to argue with her when he is crying to get her to give him to me. So it bothers me for her to claim "our" of my child. Besides that I guess, she is the only one who calls my DS "ours". My mom always says "my grandbaby", "my _________ (insert various nicknames), or calls him by his name. The rest of my family does the same, no one on DH side refers to him as "ours" except his MIL. 

I don't say anything to her because I know that it shouldn't bother me, but it is pet peeve of mine in dealing with my MIL.

jenny1980

Both my parents and inlaws say "how's our baby?" all the time. I think it's cute. I am thrilled she has so many people in her life who love her to death.

As long as they don't actually try and take over your role, I would try not to sweat it. :-)

 

kls621

aegrimm:

madameprimm:

I have a question because I'm genuinely curious. Why does it bother you? I've seen other ladies vent about the same thing, and I honestly don't understand why.

Lots of people in my family refer to Gia as their in various contexts, but it makes sense to me considering she's their family in some way or another. They absolutely adore her and that's why they use phrases like that. How can people be bothered by that?

The whole "my baby" thing doesn't bother me (personally), but I don't like when people (especially) family refer to her as "the baby". She has a name. I spent a long time picking it out. She is not an inanimate object, she is a person.

But, I'm weird like that. I'm OK saying "my kids" (or "your kids" "his kids" "our kids" etc) but I don't like saying "the kids". I feel like they are more important than that and they need to belong to someone (in the grammatical sense).

Maybe I wasn't hugged enough as a child....  lol

That is another reason why I think the "our" bothers me so much. She NEVER uses his name.

kls621

jenny1980:

Both my parents and inlaws say "how's our baby?" all the time. I think it's cute. I am thrilled she has so many people in her life who love her to death.

As long as they don't actually try and take over your role, I would try not to sweat it. :-)

 

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that so many people love my DS. And I know that I need to keep my MIL issues out of his relationship with his grandma (none of our issues affect him, yet). I guess I just needed to vent here so that I don't let this bother me to the point of saying something when this should not be a big deal.

Summer20

Nope not crazy, my mom says "our baby" a lot too.  It bugs me a tiny bit, but not enough to say something - I know it's just because she loves my DD so much.  However, if it really bugs you, say something like "oh, DH is just fine and so is DS" 

SarahCM

My mom often says THE baby, and it bothers me too. 

I think mainly because it is so impersonal like she can't be bothered to use her name.  

simplyatomic

I could totally deal with "our" baby. Mine has decided she hates the nickname we gave him so she calls him Rob. (his name is William Glenn Robert-nn Liam) Drives me up a wall.

sarahmae8

aegrimm:

madameprimm:

I have a question because I'm genuinely curious. Why does it bother you? I've seen other ladies vent about the same thing, and I honestly don't understand why.

Lots of people in my family refer to Gia as their in various contexts, but it makes sense to me considering she's their family in some way or another. They absolutely adore her and that's why they use phrases like that. How can people be bothered by that?

The whole "my baby" thing doesn't bother me (personally), but I don't like when people (especially) family refer to her as "the baby". She has a name. I spent a long time picking it out. She is not an inanimate object, she is a person.

But, I'm weird like that. I'm OK saying "my kids" (or "your kids" "his kids" "our kids" etc) but I don't like saying "the kids". I feel like they are more important than that and they need to belong to someone (in the grammatical sense).

Maybe I wasn't hugged enough as a child....  lol

This. I have no problem with the *their* claim. DS is THEIR family member. Whatever. But I DO NOT like when anyone referes to DS as IT or THE BABY. Ugh.