Parenting after 35

ladies, can we talk about night feedings and DH

How much help was your DH with night feedings?  DH is helpful with everything else but when it comes to night feedings (week days or weekends) he fails.  He will only help if I ask.  Sometimes it would be nice if he voluntarily just does it so I can get rest.  Even if he does the feeding, I'm up helping him out (i.e. changing or warming up the bottle). 

Ugh...  Am I asking for too much...or is this a guy thing and they will never change???  Just a little venting...

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Re: ladies, can we talk about night feedings and DH

  • When I was on maternity leave, I took care of everything in the night because I could (technically) nap during the day. Now that we're both back to work, he will help out if needed whenever.
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  • Mine has never (with 2 kids) done a night feeding. I BF, which gives him an easy out, but even with toddler wakings he doesn't get up. He doesn't wake up or go back to sleep easily, while I can get up, feed a child (or clean up vomit and change sheets, or soothe a nightmare, etc), and fall right back asleep. One time, ds came into our room and threw up all over the carpet. I cleaned up the kid, his sheets, and our floor, and dh never even moved or noticed. Nights are not his thing.

    The trade-off for dh is that almost all (6 mornings out of 7 or more) early wakeups (any time after 5:45) are his responsibility. When ds was a baby, I would nurse at 6 am, and dh would take him until 8 or so, then put him down for a nap. Sometimes I got to sleep in til 9:30!

    That worked for us. is there another time when dh can take responsibility for ds so you can sleep or get caught up?

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  • I'm BFing so DH can't really help with that. I do pump, but she doesn't sleep well after she's had a bottle so we stick to the boobie at night. However, if she needs a burp or a change or can't sleep, DH is in charge of that during evening hours. He lucked out last night. Betty Jane only woke up to be fed so DH woke up fresh as a daisy... Me? Not so much. I need a nap and it's only 8 am.
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    I'm still BFing so DH never helps with night feedings. He changes DS's diapers at night, but I often have to kick him to get him up to do it.

    He makes up for it, though, by taking DS when he wakes up in the morning so I can get some extra sleep.

  • My DH always offers to help at night. I usually turn him down. I think I need to start saying OK...
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  • DH was never big on getting up in the middle of the night. When I needed a break he did it but he didn't wake up immediately and then I would wake up when I heard the baby and had to nudge him to go. So that really didn't make for a restful sleep for either of us. DH is great with taking care of the baby during the day but he seldom wakes up at night. Thank God Adrian sleeps through the night now but I honestly wanted to kill DH those first months when the baby was waking up every 3-4 hours. That was brutal.

     And I'm thinking about a second child? I must be nuts, lol!

    Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
  • DH rarely did night feedings before DD STTN because he wanted to be able to get through the work day. Every so often he would get up and talk to her while I fed her.

    Have you asked him to help out?

  • I'm a wahm, and DH goes to work obscenely early (3am) so I handle the night shift on the days he works. However, he works 4 tens, so on his 3 days off we take turns on the night feedings and then he takes all of the wakings from 3:00am on and lets me sleep as late as I want.

    Yep, I do realize how lucky I am to be able to 'sleep in' three days every week!

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