If you had to take one home before the other...

AlishaMay

How did you work it?

Nanette is ready to be discharged tomorrow, and will be rooming in the parenting room with me tonight while DH stays at home with the animals and does all the last minute cleaning.  We are anticipating Maggie being discharged Sunday or Monday

I hate having to take one home and leave one here by herself, but I see the benefits of taking just one home too.  I'm not sure if I even have the option to room in with Nanette until Maggie is ready to be discharged, but I'm not certain that would be best anyway.

Please share your experiences and any advice you have to offer.  I'm soooo not sure what to do!

 TIA!

lisa&andy

DS was in NICU for 26 days and DD was home with us. It was hard, DH took off from work while he was in NICU so I had him home with me, I don't know if that is an option for you. He was able to take care of her, while I was with Jake and then we would switch in the waiting room. We saw Jake 2-3 times during the day, in the morning, lunch time and then around 7-8 at night before we went home (he was at a NICU 2 hours away from home). We called during the day and when we got up in the middle of the night with Addy since it was less busy during that time.

Rooming wasn't an option for us, they had 2 rooms for that and they were the same as a jail cell and there were no private rooms. I would check and see if you can stay up there in the hospital, especcially since Maggie may be coming home on Sunday or Monday. I hope they are both home together soon!

ethansbride2b

I took my two girls home a week earlier than my son.  It was tough because I didn't want to leave the girls with anyone but my husbandfor any extended period of time.  Me and my husband would alternate days going to see him.  He would go straight from work and then on my days to visit, he would stay home with the girls while I went up to visit. 

efhoping2010

This happened to us, our daughter was discharged on a Saturday and our son not until Monday.  They were both born premature but she started eating better and more than him and BF though a pound smaller.  Here is the good news, as awful and traumatic it was to leave one at the hospital sometimes this is exactly what the other needs.  It was one of the staff that told us that, when one leaves often the other seems to notice and quickly catches up.  I know it sounds silly but our son had a feeding tube since he was too sleepy to eat.  We took our daughter home and he quickly improved, even started BF when he had barely able to latch even a day before.  We came in one day and his feeding tube was out and the next day he was discharged, and what an amazing day that was.  You will see.  I hope and pray you have the same result.  Our hospital also let us bring the discharged twin with us when we visited the still hospitalized one and they seemed happier being near each other again, I hope your hospital has this option too.  Take care and celebrate your one daughter's victory but feel free to weep a little for the other being unable to come home yet.  For me crying it out helped me deal with it.  All the best. 

kelliwill

I had my girls on Monday and I was dischraged on Friday.  Ava was discharged as well so we took her home with us.  Gracie was in the NICU and they basically left it up to us, they would have let her go home with us or let her stay one more night in the NICU and come home the next Morning (Sat Morning).  We live 5 min from the hospital.  Our hospital stay was very hectic and crazy and even though it was hard to leave Gracie in the NICU it was only for one night and it allowed us to go home get settled with one baby before bringing Gracie home.  Our pedi recommended it as well, knowing how overwhelmed we were and how much we just needed to get home and have some quiet time.  I know other MoM's may have chosen something else, but for us this worked.  

keg

I came home on Sunday, one DD was discharged Monday, and the other on Tuesday.  I actually liked it (other than having to find someone to stay with my first DD because both DH and I had to do a training before my second DD could come home with an apnea monitor) because it gave me a chance to get settled a little bit at a time. 

AlishaMay

This is what I'm hoping for Maggie.  Nanette is such a feeding champ that in comparison to her, Maggie looks like she's lagging behind.  But in reality, she is doing really well for her gestational age.  I think that some of the nurses aren't as patient with Maggie and give up on her when she just needs a small break before finishing her bottles, while others seem to get it and she ends up doing wonderful.  Hopefully, without her sister there, she'll also get a bit more attention too. 

LoveEeyore

It was a real challenge for me.  The twins were born 10 days before we were moving.  My niece was here to help with DD#1, DH was working AND packing the house AND ddealing with closings, etc.  SO with DS in NICU for 9 days it was crazy.  Basically DD#2 lived in my Moby and she and I went back and forth to the hospital for all of DS's feedings (by day 4 they let me nurse him).  It is a blur and a very hectic time, but somehow we managed!  I basically would go to the hospital, hang with both babies, nurse them, go home and sleep and eat and get up and do it again.  He was feeding every 3 hours and Adeline and I would trek up to the hospital for every feeding except the 3 a.m. one.  Holy cow- moving and settling ito a new home with a 19 month old and newborn twins was a breeze after those 9 days!!

leeannap

I don't know if this is an option for you, but when Taylor came home Ellie was still there and they let Taylor come back to visit. Ellie was there for 15 days after Taylor was discharged so I'm so glad they allowed that. They even kept a bassinet by Ellie's bed for her so she could nap in it while we were there.

FemmeNat01

Lucas came home after 23 days and Elena came home after 38 days. It was a very long 15 days. I would wake up in the morning, feed Lucas, go to the hospital for a couple hours, come home and shower, spend some time with Lucas, go back to the hospital for another couple of hours, come home and shower, go to bed, wake up, and repeat. I felt very divided and very frustrated with everything. I think that's when my PPA/PPD really kicked in but it was lingering. I hated my situation, I didn't know where I needed to be, and I felt like I was giving one kid more love than the other!

I know this sounds discouraging but Elena got sick so she was there longer than she needed to be. I am positive that Maggie will be home in no time! I had PPA/PPD so that really affected my whole situation. I wish you luck and I am sure it will be easier on you.

The plus side was that Nate got a lot of bonding time with Lucas which he really appreciated. I also got alone time with Elena which I appreciated.