Why do I feel threatened?

MaybeBabyTime

Why? Why do I feel threatened with my MIL? I feel like its a competition with DS. I am a SAHM and am with DS all day. I feel like she comes over (uninvited sometimes) to make sure she is never a stranger to DS (sidenote: she sees DS 2-3 times a week). Sometimes when she is holding him, he is staring at her face and then could care less about me...hence the competition.

MIL told me she never wants DS to get stranger anxiety....and it must be because she wants him to always go to her. But guess what? Its normal for them to go through that and this isn't her child. She had her turn raising childen.

I just feel like there is a tug of war with her. I almost feel like she is trying to come close to being like me...like his mother. It bothers me a lot.

Arcadia1114

I have no advice but I am so sorry.  I am so glad my ILs are 300 miles away.  It gives me a chance to miss them.  Good luck. 

jinnymb

MaybeBabyTime:

Why? Why do I feel threatened with my MIL? I feel like its a competition with DS. I am a SAHM and am with DS all day. I feel like she comes over (uninvited sometimes) to make sure she is never a stranger to DS (sidenote: she sees DS 2-3 times a week). Sometimes when she is holding him, he is staring at her face and then could care less about me...hence the competition.

MIL told me she never wants DS to get stranger anxiety....and it must be because she wants him to always go to her. But guess what? Its normal for them to go through that and this isn't her child. She had her turn raising childen.

I just feel like there is a tug of war with her. I almost feel like she is trying to come close to being like me...like his mother. It bothers me a lot.

I'm sorry you feel this way.  Honestly my DS does the same thing whenever anyone holds him.  He stares at their face and touches it and examines them.  I think that is perfectly normal.  I know it's hard sometimes cause he use to only do that with me, but your DS knows you so well now and they are getting so curious it's nothing personal. 

As for your MIL coming over uninvited you should def set boundaries if you don't feel comfortable with that, just tell her to give you a call to make sure your not headed out somehwere or in the middle of cleaning.

I don't think she wants to take your place, she probably feels exactly what she said she wants to make sure DS knows her and the only way at this age he will remember her is if she sees him often. 

Sometimes staying home I feel like I'm old news too so I do something completely new and fresh with him even if he's too young to remember.  Like yesterday I took him to a waterfall and it was such a peaceful moment to share and watch him so excited to see it which is something I'll always remember.  You will never be second best, don't worry!!!