Am I just crazy?

Mare20

So this is my first child. I will be having my baby shower in August. My SIL is pregnant with her 3rd child, due a month before me. She had a big blow out shower for her first one, a huge shower (given by her mother) for her second child...and now she is having ANOTHER shower (again, given by her mother) for the third child. The middle child is only 4 so she still has everything from that pregnancy as well as all of her clothes from her first. Am I crazy to be really annoyed by this? She is having her shower 3 weeks before mine. I feel like she is trying to take away something that should be extremely special for me as  NEW mother. Granted, her mother offered to do it but if it were me I would have said not no but HECK no! I think it's extremely tacky. I mean they are going all out with decorations, invitations, REGISTERING again! It's all I have been hearing about the last few weeks. I know that by her having hers first, alot of our older family members will not be able to make mine. It just really hurts my feelings. Rant over.

PunkyBooster

I am seriously judging.

I would never go to a 3rd baby shower. I'd go to yours over that one. 

EastCoastBride

I agree that a 3d blow out shower is tacky. 

however, her shower has no affect on yours.  It doesn't.  Everyone has a choice of which shower to go to.  Just because hers is "first" doesnt guarentee people will go to hers over yours.  If I had to choose- I would come to yours.

Just make sure everyone knows about your shower, or even send out the invitations super early.

aleana18

If I got two invites in the mail, one for yours and one for hers, I would go to yours, since I would have probably went to her other two.  Also only some people would be invited to both (family) so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

hopefulmom

I agree with ECB...make sure you give people a "heads up" regarding the date of your shower before her invites even go out.  Sorry she is being so greedy...but many people will see it for what it is (a gift grab).

If I had to choose I'd certainly be going to yours.  Depending on how close I was to her I'd most likely go to hers as well...but trust me, the gift would be small (most likely diapers).  If I had to travel a great distance I would ONLY go to your's since it is celebrating "first time" motherhood.

Mare20

It's not so much the fact that some people won't make it it to mine, as much as it is the fact that she has already told me ( in a boastful manner) that she has everything she needs from her first daughter. She has 4 huge bins of clothes and all the equipment, furniture etc. The only thing she doesn't have is a car seat which she gave away. If you already have everything, why have a shower that promotes gift giving? Have a celebration dinner or a cook out and let people bring gifts if they choose to.

hopefulmom

I think she is boasting just to get a reaction from you.  She will just look greedy to other people.  Let her dig her own hole.  I would probably casually mention that if/when you have a second child you will have a big blow-out barbeque once the baby is born to celebrate.  Do you think she ever thought of doing that?

PS:  Just because of her boastful - greedy ways, I hope she has a surprise BOY!!!!  lol

RoxyLynn

She and her mother are being extraordinarily tacky and greedy.

However, it has nothing to do with you and your shower.  She is not "taking away" anything from you.

EastCoastBride

Mare20:

It's not so much the fact that some people won't make it it to mine, as much as it is the fact that she has already told me ( in a boastful manner) that she has everything she needs from her first daughter. She has 4 huge bins of clothes and all the equipment, furniture etc. The only thing she doesn't have is a car seat which she gave away. If you already have everything, why have a shower that promotes gift giving? Have a celebration dinner or a cook out and let people bring gifts if they choose to.

So, she's greedy.  There is nothing you can do to change that.

I still stand firm that this doesn't take anything from yours, though.  You might see some correlation/ some competition between your showers, you may feel yours being 2nd will some how "pale in comparison". 

But TRUST ME - for the people invited and who come, each shower is it's own event.  They aren't going to see any correlation.  They aren't going to think less of yours because it's a few weeks after hers. 

kofmkg

I answered this same question to your post on the September board, but it looks like it disappeared and may have been deleted.

Yes, she is tacky. You can't change that or the fact that someone is throwing her (yet another) shower on a date before your shower.

No, the sequence of the events will not take anything away from you as a new mother.  Your event will be special for many reasons-- irrespective of whether her shower comes first or whether some older family members attend or not. 

As EastCoastBride put it- people won't see any correlation between the two events or think less of yours. 

Mare20

Thanks for the input! I know I just need to get over it and move on lol...but I can't help being annoyed. I didn't mean to come across as being whinny or what not. There is just alot of history between me and SIL that goes way beyond this particular one. I am going to just put on my happy face and be grateful for what comes my way:)

emilydholmes1

RoxyLynn:

She and her mother are being extraordinarily tacky and greedy.

However, it has nothing to do with you and your shower.  She is not "taking away" anything from you.

I agree with this. But I can see how frustrating it would be for you. Hang in there.

caden

If it makes you feel better, I'm sure most of the people on your SIL's guest list are rolling their eyes big time at the thought of attending a 3rd shower. I know I would. And I certainly wouldn't be attending it.