MIL's help.... Vent warning!

SOOOO MIL and I were out yardsaling over the weekend and she made the comment that the best help she could give me was coming to get my son each night from 5-9 so that if I got the girls to sleep then I could sleep...

Keep in mind this was AFTER the conversation that told her H is going to make his schedule nights only and one weekend day once the girls are born for the remainder of the summer so that he's home during the day and we can  switch off and he can still be up with us at night and THEN once school starts back up he's only working until 3:30 each day... so would be home to help when she's planning on carting off my son!

Am I right to be getting irritated that EVERYONE seems to think I'm going to be looking to send my toddler off ALL THE TIME!!! He's only 2! Talk about mixed messages! let's send you away cause mommy doesn't have time for you anymore! WTF! If she wants to help me then she can come OVER for a few hours a few days a week and let me take a nap... but that would never occur to her! I know I'm hormonal but DS is my baby! even when the girls get here he's still going to be MY BABY DARNIT! I don't feel right being at home without him and he's also very attached to both DH and I. Leaving every night may be fun for a while, but it would get old for all of us fast... I personally welcome help, but if you're not willing to help in my home with us getting a routine started and getting everyone used to being together what help is it really?

Reality check, I will have 3 children 2 and under, that's something we need to learn to cope with, taking one away daily doesn't feel even remotely right!

Re: MIL's help.... Vent warning!

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    Griffin was 2y2mo when the twins were born. We did keep him in full time daycare during the week - so his routine wouldn't change so much when the twins were born - and so he could have some fun during the day since we weren't much fun at home with 2 newborns :)

    But other than that - he didn't go anywhere - weekends he was with us the whole time.  My family would often come over and play with him- but we didn't ship him off at all (he stayed with my sister the 4 nights i was in the hospital but that's it).

    it IS doable with a toddler + twins! So many of us have done it. Sure, it's nice to have help- but we didn't want a ton of help... b/c, as you said, unless you are working towards your new "normal" setting a routine that works for all 3 of your kids - "help" can often hurt.

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    DD also goes to daycare full time and we plan to do the same after the twins are born to keep her routine.  However, my MIL also keeps making comments about how she is going to have to take DD all the time.  I am like, um no you wont!  I know they are just trying to help us, but its still annoying cause it makes me feel like they don't think I am capable of taking care of all my children.
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    I know what you mean.  I have gotten so much input on what to do with DS (he will be almost 5), but I just shrug it off.  I would rather he be around and learn to work it out (we will have to eventually).  Granted when people stay with us, I will definitely encourage them to play with DS since I will do most of the babies' stuff (nursing - hopefully, getting them on a routine).  I am hoping that after the first few months things settle down and I can get back to our normal routine - playing, doing playdates, homeschooling most days.  I know it won't be easy going from having one for 5 years to having three (especially two newborns), but I do want to do it without shipping DS off.  I am good with him going once a month for a sleepover since he does that now or having someone come over to play with him or take him every once in a while for a playdate, just not all the time.  I want him to be apart of this.
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    Don't you just love it when other people's definition of not at all what you need!  IMO people should ask what you need not assume!
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