dropping in to ask for a friend

Kitten80

Hello amazing multiple mamas!  I decided to drop into this board and ask for you experience and any advice. 

I just got a baby shower invite for a wonderful male friend of mine's wife - for twins!!  I was floored because he never wanted children & I didn't think she did either.  Well, after chatting online tonight, I found out the boys are surprises.  Unfortunately, my husband lost his job last month, so money is tight so my shower gift will be small - I hope we will be back on our feet by the time the babies come and I can send more then.  So:

1. I thought I would put together some sort of cute little book or list of advice my friends and I wish we had listened to (i.e. sleep when the babies sleep - I tried to get everything done while they slept and ended up exhausted, have meals made ahead of time if you have room for them, etc.)

Any advice from women who have handled more than one baby at a time that I should include?  Any tips on things you got a lot of and didn't need or didn't buy enough of? (I know this can be specific to the family but there are somethings my friends and I agree on - like we actually do use all those bibs!).

2.  What couldn't you have done without?  Or favorite smaller gift ideas?

Thanks so much ladies!  I can only imagine how busy you are...these are wonderful people and I want to help them into this transition to being a family by being here for them if they need help (sleep?!) and being thoughtful in my gift even though I can' be as generous as I would like.

RobynK

It's nice of you to do this for your friend's wife

The "sleep when the baby sleeps" thing isn't very realistic for twins.  When they are little they often don't sleep at the same time so it's a lot harder to make this work and I personally hated when people told me to sleep...just a warning!

Making meals ahead of time is great.

I always kept enough bottles to get through at least 1.5 days of feedings....nothing is worse than finally getting both babies to sleep at once only to realize you have to get up and wash bottles because there are no clean ones left.

Two boppies and two bouncies saved me when I had to feed both babies at once (I put one on each side of me to give them bottles).

jalaiaa

i'll ditto meals in advance, 2 boppies and 2 bouncies. If she is going to nurse the EZ2 Nurse was a must. Her job is to feed herself, feed her babies and sleep. Nothing else for the first few weeks. - let her hubby take care of everything else. Sign up for the bump and get on the multiples board or get involved with a local MoMs group. No one knows what she's going through better than other MoMs and they can be really helpful. Accept help. 

Kitten80

RobynK:

It's nice of you to do this for your friend's wife thanks

The "sleep when the baby sleeps" thing isn't very realistic for twins.  When they are little they often don't sleep at the same time so it's a lot harder to make this work and I personally hated when people told me to sleep...just a warning! I was going to include a "disclaimer" on this part because I figured that might be true.  However, I figured I would include to accept help if she was open to it to at least grab a nap - I had to feed DS every two hours around the clock and he would nurse for 45 minutes to an hour at atime so I never slept more than 20 minutes at a time and I was exhausted - if there had been a second?  I always wanted twins, and decided maybe someone upstairs knew I am a big,fat.wimp who wouldn't have made it with that level of sleep deprivation! lol

Making meals ahead of time is great.

I always kept enough bottles to get through at least 1.5 days of feedings....nothing is worse than finally getting both babies to sleep at once only to realize you have to get up and wash bottles because there are no clean ones left. great idea!

Two boppies and two bouncies saved me when I had to feed both babies at once (I put one on each side of me to give them bottles). ahhh, I wondered about the two boppies thing (I nursed so I couldn't figure out why 2?! )lol. thanks!

to the other poster, great info as well thanks ladies I will be back to see if anyone else has ideas. 

MrsAmyB

I think your heart is in the right place and it's really sweet what you want to do for her! So so so many people tell me I need to accept help. To me it's about as annoying as telling any expectant mom that they need to sleep now because they won't later. I know I will need to accept help, it's kind of a given but only the amount I feel comfortable with. Advice to join a local MoM's group is great! I'm pretty sure I've had over 30 people suggest I join our local group, likely because it is so successful. The other advice I can't stand is those that say you will only have time to devote towards your babies. I know this doesn't apply to your friend, but MoMs with older kids simply can't ignore them.

It may be easier for you to get her a gift. Etsy has cute, unique gifts like month stickers for their onesies, personalized binky clips, personalized necklaces for mom, etc. Or find a smoking deal at OshKosh or Gymbo or Gap and get 2 cute outfits.

Everyone is different, but this is my advice

LightBlue

It's very nice of you to go out of your way for your friends For advice, the sleeping when the babies sleep didn't work for me, they never nap at the same time!  My advice is take any and all help that is offered.  If it's watching the babies so you can take a shower, help with laundry, make meals... anything, it's a huge help. The products that really saved me were 2 bouncers, 2 boppies and swaddle-mes. 

MamaCrystal

Keep them on the same schedule! : )  From the very beginning, we have always woken the 2nd twin up to eat when the 1st one woke up hungry.  Now they both sleep through the night, so they eat five times a day almost always at the same time.  It really saves our sanity because we'd be spending much more of our time feeding them if we didn't keep them on the same schedule.

They'll blow through diapers quickly with twins, so that's always a very practical gift that can be catered to your budget.