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Multiples
Napping nightmare
Okay, let me start off by saying please don't flame me. I have had little sleep and just feeling very sensitive right now. The girls are both in their cribs crying right now and I am crying too because I just don't know what to do.
I think I have created a very bad sleep pattern...actually I know I have. My babies are so used to being rocked and lulled to sleep either by DH, myself, or a swing and I don't know how to go about changing that at this point: 5 mos old. They are the worst nappers in the world, even with being rocked etc. They will nap for like 30 min and then wake up. At times they will go longer, but it's really rare. I know they are tired and need to nap longer but they just wake up. For the past few weeks I have really been trying to get them on a nap schedule, but to get two down at the same time is so hard and just hasn't been working. I will put one in the swing and rock the other, or some variation of that. They get swaddled at night so I have also been swaddling them for nap unless they fall asleep in the swing. When I try to not swaddle they wake up as soon as a lay them down, or VERY shortly thereafter. They also totally wake each other up, which sucks.
I have lots of books and have read pieces of each: Baby Wise, Healthy sleep habits happy baby etc. but at this point I am so lost and tired of having no real naptime at my house (so I literally get NO break where one child is not awake) and just don't know where to begin. I have no time to even sit down and read a book cover to cover and I get so frustrated because the books either don't seem very helpful with twins or don't address where to begin when you haven't used their "system" since day one. Maybe they do...but I haven't found it yet.
Please if you have any suggestions, advise, or personal stories I would like to hear. Anyone else out there who hasn't put their babies down to nap awake like me and what are you doing? I also have to admit.....hearing them cry and cry is really hard for me. TIA
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Re: Napping nightmare
((hugs)) Sorry I'm not any help, but hang in there.
I have similar sleep issues but I usually have someone here helping me so my troubles are not as bad as yours. I totally feel for you and your lack of sleep. I know it sucks and it seems like there is no end. I am trying to break our rocking to sleep habit too. I have been putting the boys in their cribs awake and doing a semi-Ferber method of letting them fall asleep crying. I come in and out and pat them every few minutes but it usually riles them up more. I only put them in if I know they are really tired and need to sleep. If they just cry continuously I will take them out. I don't know if what I'm saying is helping at all but it might be worth a shot. My kids also won't sleep in a swing or anything, only in their crib on their bellies. They always kick and roll over when they don't want to go to bed, so I roll them back and pat them. If you are not getting any sleep, you really gotta try to do some sort of sleep training or you won't make it. You don't need to let them cry but they need to learn to sleep in their cribs.
Sorry I hope things get better soon.
Thank you. We just went in and they were both so tired they cried a bit while we each rocked one and then swaddled them and put them down. I am just so overwhlemed. I think that maybe I trying to get them to do too many new things at a time. I think I need to get the napping in the crib thing down first (something we just started a few weeks ago due to the fact that our house was under construction...long story, but their room was unable to be used for longer than we thought and so they were in our living room in pack n plays.) Maybe once they start napping in their cribs then I can start doing the putting down while awake thing.
First of all, your girls are gorgeous.
I don't really have much good advice because I am constantly having problems with naps. I don't like the idea of CIO, but Eli was essentially crying it out in my arms before naps anyway. I think he just gets overtired. I'm on day 3 where he kind of cries it out but he is in his crib and I stay right by him and pat him and shush (a baby whisperer thing). I found when I pick him up he just keeps crying. And after 3 days it is getting better. The first day I patted him for about 35 minutes with him crying, the next day it was about 20 minutes. Today he actually didn't really cry but I patted him for about 20 minutes before he finally gave in to sleep. Hoping this is the trick and it gets better. James is usually a better sleeper so I put him down first. Also I have set up a co-sleeper in our room so that the boys are napping in different rooms. Hoping they'll both become good nappers and I can keep them in the same room. Good luck. I feel your pain.
I agree with you that you should try to change only 1 thing at a time.
And honestly, I know it sucks. But try not to place your expectations too high, either of yourself or of them. You're just going to continue to end up exactly where you are.
DD was a crappy napper until about 11 months. It was like a lightbulb went off with her at that point, and she instantly went to 1 nap/day. She's been there ever since. We rocked her to sleep until she was 15 months old, too. One day, I asked if she was ready to go in her crib. She said yes, and we stopped rocking that night.
We'll certainly do some things differently this time, but don't overwhelm yourself doing things that you *think* you should be doing.
((((hugs))))
The one thing that helps us for naps is having a nap routine. We do the same exact thing with them every time that we put them down for a nap and I make my MIL do the same thing, too, when she watches them during the day. I put them on our bed, turn the lights down low and read a story or snuggle with them. I then take them one at a time (or if my husband is with me he takes one) into their nursery and we turn on the sound machine (something about that machine cues them to sleep, too) and then rock just for a minute and then put them down.
I have also started a couple other things:
1. Sometimes when they are fussing before a nap, I just put them in the crib and leave their small light on. Oftentimes, they feel like they are just playing somewhere instead of going to sleep and after awhile, they just conk out
2. I have started to let them whine or fuss for a couple minutes. Its not easy but I really try to listen to the whine to see if its a "Mom, I need you ASAP" or "Mom, Im just messing with you to see if you'll come in here" Normally its the latter and after a few minutes of fussing (and a little crying) they will go down.
3. When all else fails, I don't fight it. If they fall asleep on my bed or in the swing, so be it. Id rather them do that instead of having to rock them or hold them for extended times before naps.
Hang in there hun, you'll get through this!!!
(((hugs)))
I don't have any answers since we're having sleep problems too. I shed tears over it today too. I am almost always by myself for naps and bedtime and have created the habit of BFing the girls to sleep. I've also skimmed all the books and haven't found anything about what to do once the bad habits are formed. If I find any answers, I'll let you know. Just know that you're not alone.
My guys are bad nappers too (best naps are 45mins). They are 7 months and take 3-4 cat naps per day...and even that they fight!. o I feel your pain there!!!
As for rocking, I stopped doing that at 2 months....I don't think it's too late for you to stop but it won't be easy. Unfortunately I think you're going to have to let them cry. I started with naps. Their best nap is the morning nap, so I when I decided to stop rocking, I started with that nap first. I would put them down, leave the room, come back 5 minutes later, patt their butts, leave the room again, etc.
At 2 months, it took 2-3 naps to get them to start self-soothing. Once they mastered naps (like in 2-3 days) I moved on to bedtime and did the same thing.
It may take longer now, but you can totally do it!!!!. Giving them a little lovey may help.
Good luck!
It may just be a phase. We went through quite a few looong months where the boys only napped 30 minutes at a time and that was at the most. Then all of a sudden about a month ago they started napping for an hour or 2. We still have some bad days though and don't get me started about going to bed at night. We to, have the habit of letting them drink a bottle until they fall asleep (or they'll just scream for hours) and if that doesn't work they lay in our bed. MH works at night and I'm only one person so if that's where they need to fall asleep, so that I can get some peace and quiet, then so be it. I'm sure I'll be kicking myself in the arse when I have 2 three years olds taking up my entire bed but for now it is what it is. GL!