Opinions? Thoughts? - XP from 3T and IF

lyse2143

Be honest

While I was away this weekend, we got a package in the mail of a magnet, about a foot tall, maybe a little less, of the Kokopelli guy, with a long printout with the history of it, first words: Fertility God. 

Now, this was from my MIL. I am a little irked by it and not sure how to feel, considering she is aware that we are having issues, and what they are, so I get that she may want to try to show her support. However, she has never struggled, has no clue how it feels, and always is the kind to have her nose in everything and meddle. Again, on one hand I think that its sweet, and supportive of her. On the other hand, I feel that she thinks sending us a fertility God on a fuucking magnet is now going to be our good luck charm? 

Am I ungrateful or would you be slightly put off with it too?

pinkflipflops44

I'd be angry but there isn't much my MIL does that doesn't irk me at some point.  Our MIL's sound to be the same type.  I'd probably just ignore it with a smile though.

sr1220

lyse2143:

Be honest

While I was away this weekend, we got a package in the mail of a magnet, about a foot tall, maybe a little less, of the Kokopelli guy, with a long printout with the history of it, first words: Fertility God. 

Now, this was from my MIL. I am a little irked by it and not sure how to feel, considering she is aware that we are having issues, and what they are, so I get that she may want to try to show her support. However, she has never struggled, has no clue how it feels, and always is the kind to have her nose in everything and meddle. Again, on one hand I think that its sweet, and supportive of her. On the other hand, I feel that she thinks sending us a fertility God on a fuucking magnet is now going to be our good luck charm? 

Am I ungrateful or would you be slightly put off with it too?

I think if it were me, I would go with this option. I may be a bit biased because I have a really good relationship with my MIL, but I think I would rather assume she had good intentions than otherwise.

 

barcelonagirl

be both.

you don't have to feel one way or the other... i'd put it in the closet with the rest of my regiftable items lol and then call her to say thank you very much, it was a lovely gesture but, this is really a private and personal matter and you'll reach out to her if you need her.

MrsHteaching4life

I haven't struggled with IF so I cannot put myself in your shoes.  I can see how you might feel, but it seems like she is trying to show her support to you.  I don't know your MIL though.  I am trying to stay positive in life nowadays, so I am thinking it was harmless.

BetchySprout

I would take it with the best of intentions. Sure, she has never been there, but maybe she is just trying to think of how she can support you. So few understand IF and pregnancy loss, from what I know, some people just ignore it...she is trying to acknowledge what you are going through in her own (slightly odd) way. It doesn't mean you need to share anything with her.

lyse2143

I will add, we're not super close. We get a long fine, but we usually don't talk on the phone unless there is something specific. I haven't seen her in a couple months therefore haven't spoken to her, if that says anything. 

She does know we've been trying over a year, that my testing was for the most part fine, and DH's wasn't, and needs surgery. 

cloey615

I would be upset if my MIL did that, however, I would assume that she meant it out of support and love rather than trying to be snide. I think I would just say thank you for thinking of us and leave it at that.

notkateanymore

I didn't get along with my MIL very well {she died when DD was 9 months old}, but she loved her son, so I could totally see her doing something like that if she knew he was having issues, etc. So, if I were you, I would let DH handle this. Put your giant man magnet in the garage sale pile and let it be.

LnR70707

I replied to the topic on 3T, but I have another honest opinion. You know I think you are straight forward with everything that you post, and I totally respect you for that, but I don't think this warrants a triple XP.

Nechie122

I think she meant well but it's a totally inappropriate gift. Maybe it was supposed to be sweet, but to me -- and, granted, I'm not very spiritual -- it screams tacky and presumptuous.

BUT, to keep the peace, let DH be the one to say something to her. Don't feel bad -- no gift should make you cringe this much. She was wrong to send it.

2have2hold

I doubt she sent it just to irk you, and maybe because you two are not close, she didn't know what else to do to show her support. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and say that's just her way of "supporting" you.

sbuxsweetie

2have2hold:

I doubt she sent it just to irk you, and maybe because you two are not close, she didn't know what else to do to show her support. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and say that's just her way of "supporting" you.

This was my first thought, too.

lyse2143

L&R70707:

I replied to the topic on 3T, but I have another honest opinion. You know I think you are straight forward with everything that you post, and I totally respect you for that, but I don't think this warrants a triple XP.

Well I wanted an opinion from ladies in different phases. New to TTC, those at our mark, and those that have gone through years of TTC and treatments. 

brookelynpaisley

It would definitely irk me. The woman told me the first time we met that I owed her two grandchildren. Everytime she mentions it, I tell her it's one more month she now has to wait before we start trying. She's completely unaware that we're trying (both she and my mom are) and she will be until the day we announce a pregnancy.

Milliways

I would be annoyed because a magnet isn't going to make everything better, but I think you should appreciate the gesture that she was attempting.

...and if she starts harping on the magnet too much, mail it back to her with a note saying that you rubbed it on your vag every night and you still aren't PG so you think it is broken so you are sending it back so she can exchange it for a new one.

 

lyse2143

Milliways:

I would be annoyed because a magnet isn't going to make everything better, but I think you should appreciate the gesture that she was attempting.

...and if she starts harping on the magnet too much, mail it back to her with a note saying that you rubbed it on your vag every night and you still aren't PG so you think it is broken so you are sending it back so she can exchange it for a new one.

 

Bwahahahaha. Even I don't have the balls for that one but that is hilarity.